out of control
 

one of my Rabbi's visited me this morning. She sort of gave me permission to tell my nephews how badly they hurt me. I wrote to the one who sends me pictures of his sons and told him how I talked about my family to her and they don't care that I am mentally ill. That isn't being a good Jew. I wrote a follow up and said I was in so much pain

I am sorry for your pain:(
((((HUGS)))))
bizi

I think I did the right thing. I was vascillating (sp) all night about what I did.
I really don't have a family. Another one I hear from the Jewish holidays in a form letter which is coming up. I feel like telling him to shove it, if he writes to me I will write him back that I will pray for him. It is really scary being all alone

You do not even have to answer him. I've gotten massive satisfaction from
tearing up a letter or shredding it.

Or you could send it back "return to sender. not at this address."

it would be an email. I decided I will just respond that I will pray for him (for my sake)-too much pain

I think you did the right thing by writing the letter, too. I hope that you felt at least a little release after writing down your feelings and pressing "send" :hug::hug::hug:

I'm sorry that these s***heads are all that's left of your family :hug::hug::hug:
But I'm glad that you have some very good friends, and we love you, and are always here for you :hug::hug::hug:

I think the Rabbi sort of gave me the okay. I don;t know if she picked up how much I suffer from them. I did make peace with my father a few months before he died.My sister still haunts me.. I treasure this group and run to it, I have a few very close friends. It isn't the same as family.
I love what you call them lol
love
bobby
I fit the pattern of the mentally ill so right on but I think we are the normal ones.

I feel more relaxed now. thanks so much!

I am glad you feel better bobby.
I hope you have a stress free day.
((((HUGS))):hug:
bizi

most of the stress has returned. it is like losing my family all over again and all the unpleasant memories coming back