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-   -   Falling out of love... (https://www.neurotalk.org/multiple-sclerosis/32520-falling-love.html)

AfterMyNap 11-20-2007 01:22 PM

Falling out of love...
 
... with life. I'm not sure if it's the inevitable coming down from my wild adventure or knowing it was the last one. Maybe it's just the incredible boredom of having to rest and the admission to myself that there is no other option right now.

Barely being able to type or put clothes on isn't helping, and these legs are gaining 40lbs. a day. In some respects it is as if I've done everything I set out to do and maybe I'm just finished with everything.

It's not "holiday blues", I can't wait till it's over. Weather could be part of it, or that I feel like I need a nap right now but I'd rather go get a back massage but I'm too lazy to get into the shower, AND wash, AND shave, AND get out, AND dry off, AND get dressed AND put shoes on. Now I'm tired just thinking about it.

Maybe it's raging hormones.:rolleyes:

Or, maybe, just maybe, I really am sick of this life.

SallyC 11-20-2007 02:01 PM

I am so glad you posted this mini rant, Cindy, 'cause I feel the same exact way. Blahhhhhhhh!!

I came here earlier and read all your posts, had a good laugh and had absolutely nothing constructive or even funny to say.:(

Nothing is the same, in my life, anymore. I am older than you, Cindy, but in my heart, I'm still 35 and raring to go. My body says, "you idiot...you're 65 and climbing...you have MS and your soul-mate died....Your life, for most intents and purposes is OVER" !!

I guess I should consider myself lucky that I had a good life, while it lasted, but dangit, I'm not done yet.:mad: I need to conjure up something to make me feel like an active member of this world again.

Don't say 'GET A HOBBY' or 'JOIN A GROUP OF OTHER LOSERS' or I will SMACK YOU!!!:p

It's ALL ABOUT ME!!!:D

Sorry Cinders for the hijack, but if it's any consulation, you are NOT ALONE!!

:hug:

AfterMyNap 11-20-2007 02:18 PM

Hardly a hijack, Sal. I only know that I feel like I'm wasting space and air a lot of the time.

I'm 45 and if once 25 yrs. ago, someone had tried to tell me that this would be all there would be left, I'm not sure how hard I'd have worked at things, you know?

I think I'm just all used up.

I will never tell you that you need a hobby or lay a lot of trite platitudes at your feet. You wouldn't feel them anyway.;)

I'm irritated and completely sick of this ship and I'm ready to dive off, but it's too much work to change into my swimsuit.

SallyC 11-20-2007 02:26 PM

My words to both of us...."Get over it......God doesn't want us yet....we still have miles to 'creep' and promises to keep".:D:p

AfterMyNap 11-20-2007 02:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SallyC (Post 169565)
My words to both of us...."Get over it......God doesn't want us yet....we still have miles to 'creep' and promises to keep".:D:p

Oh, just shove it, Sal.:Poke:

SallyC 11-20-2007 02:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AfterMyNap (Post 169566)
Oh, just shove it, Sal.:Poke:

:Wave-Hello:...Bending over...:hit-safe:

tovaxin_lab_rat 11-20-2007 04:08 PM

Right there. Can't think of anything else to add to either one of your posts.

greta 11-20-2007 08:48 PM

How do I add to this? Just wanted to let you know that I am thinking of you. I would miss your thoughtful posts terribly. When life went to hell in a handbasket for my mom, she started to think that maybe there was a purpose in her life to help people around her. She still gets depressed and cranky but she also realizes that she can help. I think you do that really well. (the helping, not the cranky part ;) )

If you will remember back to the peeps thread with your niece, was it? That's the first thread that ever caused me spontaneous nasal reflux.

You might feel like checking out, but I would bet that there are many things in store for you still.....

ewizabeth 11-20-2007 10:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by greta (Post 169648)
I think you do that really well. (the helping, not the cranky part ;) )

If you will remember back to the peeps thread with your niece, was it? That's the first thread that ever caused me spontaneous nasal reflux.

You might feel like checking out, but I would bet that there are many things in store for you still.....


AMN,

Greta speaks the truth. You enrich many, many lives just by being you. I hope you can get past this feeling, hope it's just a letdown feeling after all the excitement that will level off and pass. You are one special chickie and you need to remember that. You have too much to offer to even think of yourself as less than fabulous. You eminate fabulousness, and don't forget it. :hug:

AfterMyNap 11-20-2007 11:12 PM

Aw, thanks, you guys. Don't worry, I'm not suicidal or anything. I'm not even sad. I'm just sick of this junk in a big way. I'm irritated by this bloody disease and the fact that it's following me around like a shark, always right behind me, nipping off one chunk of my life at a time.

Besides, I'm much too tired to do anything about it now.


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