i thought it would hurt more..
 

i feel really strange at the moment. its now boxing day over here, my first Christmas without dad,and .. i don't know...i'm not as heartbroken as i thought i would have been. maybe it's because i have my little daughter to distract me, and trust me she has, but i really thought this would be a hard day.
i don't mean today has been easy,i have had my moments, but.... it's just not hit me as hard as i thought it would.
i have found over the last month or so that i really feel my dad is with my big brother, he was 5 when he died and for me in my own thoughts he is still that age, and i have found a huge amount of comfort in Craig as a little boy finding his dad again. i know i have mentioned that before but it was more of a protective shield rather than my true heartfelt feelings..

right now "new year" i think is the point when it will hit me..
although new years day isn't the first for me, it will be the ninth... then.. i think i just might hit the brick wall..
sorry for such a strange post it's just such a strange, numb feeling.
tc steash

:hug: steash :hug:


I am thankful it wasnt as hard and that you could give of yourself so to your little girl.

I pray that God's comfort will be with you and His love sustain you.

Cheri

Christmas was not as bad for me either but then my memories I have have my husband at Christmas were not good ones. It the other good times I miss.

befuddled2
P.S. I know in time our pain will ease.

i was wrong.
 

sitting wondering how to put this into words...

as i said christmas was strange, new year was etc but boy have i just had the rug pulled form under me.
i was putting my youngest (5) son to bed, saying "night night" having a hug as we always do when suddenly he is just braking his heart crying...
i'm thinking have i said something to upset him, so i ask him "whats wrong" and he just comes out with it "i just want to see grandpa"....
bang!
he's NEVER mentioned it in any way never mind like this.
so i give him a bigger hug tell him grandpa is with him always get him settled and come down here.
gotta go need more hankies

tc all

:hug: that is heartbreaking. you are right about grandpa is always with him. today i was talking and used a term my husband always used. they live in our hearts and minds.

befuddled