i feel really strange at the moment. its now boxing day over here, my first Christmas without dad,and .. i don't know...i'm not as heartbroken as i thought i would have been. maybe it's because i have my little daughter to distract me, and trust me she has, but i really thought this would be a hard day.
i don't mean today has been easy,i have had my moments, but.... it's just not hit me as hard as i thought it would.
i have found over the last month or so that i really feel my dad is with my big brother, he was 5 when he died and for me in my own thoughts he is still that age, and i have found a huge amount of comfort in Craig as a little boy finding his dad again. i know i have mentioned that before but it was more of a protective shield rather than my true heartfelt feelings..

right now "new year" i think is the point when it will hit me..
although new years day isn't the first for me, it will be the ninth... then.. i think i just might hit the brick wall..
sorry for such a strange post it's just such a strange, numb feeling.
tc steash

steash


I am thankful it wasnt as hard and that you could give of yourself so to your little girl.

I pray that God's comfort will be with you and His love sustain you.

Cheri

Christmas was not as bad for me either but then my memories I have have my husband at Christmas were not good ones. It the other good times I miss.

befuddled2
P.S. I know in time our pain will ease.

sitting wondering how to put this into words...

as i said christmas was strange, new year was etc but boy have i just had the rug pulled form under me.
i was putting my youngest (5) son to bed, saying "night night" having a hug as we always do when suddenly he is just braking his heart crying...
i'm thinking have i said something to upset him, so i ask him "whats wrong" and he just comes out with it "i just want to see grandpa"....
bang!
he's NEVER mentioned it in any way never mind like this.
so i give him a bigger hug tell him grandpa is with him always get him settled and come down here.
gotta go need more hankies

tc all

that is heartbreaking. you are right about grandpa is always with him. today i was talking and used a term my husband always used. they live in our hearts and minds.

befuddled