Why do I feel hurt so easily?
 

Hi Katie,

That's quite a deep question & topic.
I would say that some people could be just "wired" that way - to be more sensitive.
There could be much deeper reasons behind it too.
Maybe even things that happened when you were too young to remember it. I'm not even meaning horrible things - maybe just an uncertain environment.

Also physical or health issues - like possible hormonal imbalances ?
Possible even some food sensitives or allergies might have some influence.

Well I've always been sensitive and cried easily when people yell at me or during sad movies, etc. but it seems to be heightened lately. I kind of knew this, but had been ignoring it until my boyfriend asked me why I get upset so easily. He'll do little things that he doesn't think are a big deal, but they hurt my feelings and I'll start crying or just feel hurt. My mom did scream a lot when I was younger and it wasn't always the best environment but I always knew she loved me. Still, I moved in with my dad and stepmom when I was 16 and a lot of issues I had (being upset and angry all the time) went away. Lately I've been feeling upset a lot or stressed out and maybe it's just being in college, but I'm trying to figure out if it's something more. Thanks for replying!

I've always been "overly-sensitive" and "over analytical". These qualities held me in good stride when I worked as a health and safety co-ordinator for BFGoodrich. They also helped when I worked for a Pizza place as a waitress and then moved up to Asst. Manager. I made 'connections' with people in a brief 2 - 3 min. span. People told the owner that they got the feeling I'd "known them all their lives" "they felt comfortable" etc.

However, after I had surgery in 2000, and started to have physical problems on a day to day basis, it turned against itsself, I became more self-orientated and self-degrading, not all at once, but little by little, minute amounts that werent immediately visible.

I believe that those of us who are more "emotionally lible" have a greater chance of having the scales tipped toward affective mood disorders, because of the inherent roller coaster we live on in life in general. Looking back (hindsight is always 20/20 dontcha know?) I believe that if I had started with a good therapist in 1993, I wouldnt have had the problems I do now. Too many stressors happened to me in the space of that year. I moved outta the house I had grown up in, got my first "real job", lost that job due to pregnancy issues, my mom passed away, I got married, I had a baby, and then I moved back into the home I had grown up in. A life coach told me that I had 2/3 of the major life events a person normally experiances through a life time, happen in the space of a year, and that was not emotionally or mentally healthy. She was right.

There are such a variety of things that it COULD be. I think this is a time of a personal cross-roads for you. I'd suggest talking with a school counselor, or possibly a mental health professional, or even a social worker. Sometimes just airing how your thinking or feeling can help. Like here on these boards, where I've met some of the most awesome, caring and compassionate people. A journal has become my best friend the past month. Looking back over past entries, I can see ebbs and flows, and its helping me to make a "mental outline" of my thought processes, so I can better anticipate a depressive episode before it gets full steam.

Hope this helps some, sweetie. Keep us updated and informed on how yer doing, ok?

God Bless ya!!!

Dawn

Well, Katie, I think you're a normal, healthy young woman who is in tune with herself. The fact that you are willing and able to consider your reactions and feelings tells me that you're on the right keel.

Throughout life we all tend to take critical looks at our actions and reactions and temper them with a touch of experience and common sense. I'm sure you're a-okay and I agree that just touching base with a school counselor might help you recognize some of the touchier matters. Once you can identify specifics, you'll be more confident in controlling them.

Being a sensitive individual is an asset, not a liability! :)

Hi Katie, I think that some people are just more sensitive. If you are I think that it helps to learn how to work with it. It might help if you "untie" yourself from the effects of your mother's screaming. When you get upset in the present do you think that some of your feelings come back from the past (your mother's screaming) to complicate things. With focus you can release yourself from this. I have done it and I decided to try it with my 7 year old daughter and it worked for her too. I was a screamer after my second child was born (from the stress). This went on for 2 years until I came to my senses. If she was around anyone who was upset she would shake. I talked to her about it and told her that she was just remembering when I would yell and that this was in the past and that she was safe now from it. The next day she told me "Mommy I don't shake anymore!" Just understanding this released her from it.

I would make sure that the things your boyfriend does (or says) are not in any way insensitive or cruel. If you do not feel he is very understanding, wants to be, or is supportive of you, you may find that you are with someone that is not the best person for you. By that I mean the right type of people will bring out your best, and you will feel safe, secure and at ease with them. I watched my daughter go from happy and confident to easily upset, defensive and in poorer control of her emotions. . . all because she had begun dating someone who was totally not good for her. Sure, she loved him, and he said he loved her . . . but you can love someone who is not your best match. Doesn't mean you have to keep them in that closest spot in your life, where they can wreak havoc with your emotions. Just be sure that he is not making things worse. If this is not the case, invite him to help you get through this. He will need to know what you are all about, even the confusing parts!

I am a super sensitive type, and cry fairly easily. You probably have some idea of where the boundaries of your "normal" amount of sensitivity are and what takes you beyond them. When you feel yourself getting close to those boundaries, take a deep breath and step back from the situation that might take you over. You might find a way to sort out the overwhelming feelings better if you take yourself out of the middle of the situation, and see what you are feeling before the tears come.

Hi, think the mess from Jo55 is very right, sorry can't talk londer but food alligies, imblance, or just your wired that way.

I feel the same way. Sometimes when I think of the last heart ache i had and how it eventually went away it helps.. A lot of the times people like us think so in depth about the wat was just said and we work ourselves into a emotional wreck. Sometimes Ill force myself to think of something else or just do something that makes me feel good as a person. Its so hard and im still working on it. with time and maturity u will learn how to deal. Im 20 and i have a lot of growing to do as well. Find people that truly care for you and it will help. i truly relate to this post so if u ever need a pep talk. shout me a holler don lol later

I'm like that too! Sometime I'll end up crying even if my mom is yelling at my sister and it has nothing to do with me!

I don't think it's anything really strange. Sometimes I think it's best if you just take a step back, take a deep breath (or a few), and try to think through it and try calm yourself down into a more relaxed state.