Guilt: that useless emotion
 

My 89 year old year, dementia ridden Grandma passed away a couple of days ago. It was best for her and the family that it wasn't prolonged.

I feel guilty because I can't be at her service tomorrow. I'm physically not up for the 1000 mile trip to PA.

Worst of all, I realized that I have her wedding ring that I am positive that she would've wanted to be buried with. During the confusion after my mom's death last year my Dad gave my sister and me my mom's jewelry.
Somehow I ended up with my Gram's ring because my mom had been keeping it because of Gram's dementia.

My Aunt was trying to find it a few months ago when I figured out that the extra gold band in mom's stuff was the missing band. I planned on having my son take it with him to PA when he visits next month. My Dad didn't want me to mail it. Now I wish I had.

I know that my Aunt is probably torn up about this, I don't want to call her right now because it will just upset her more.

I understand, logically, this isn't my fault. Guilt sucks. I feel like it's something I should have thought of soon enough to overnight mail it.

I just needed to say this out loud, so to speak.

I am sorry for your loss. :hug:

Honor her memory tomorrow and for all the rest of your life. I do not think your grandmother cared that the wedding ring was not on her finger.

Maybe, just maybe, the ring is supposed to be a loving remembrance to be passed to you or another member of your family.

Things can happen for a good reason.

I'm so sorry to hear about your Grandma. :(

I agree with Cyn.....things happen for good reasons sometimes. Maybe you were supposed to keep this ring with you. I know you can't help second guessing yourself sometimes but at least you know where the ring is.....and you know that your Grandma knows it's safe - in good hands.

Joellelee, I'm so sorry about your dear grandmother's passing. :(

I can't help but agree with Kitty and Aarcyn -- I hope you get to keep it as a way to remember her. :hug:

Sorry to hear about your loss, Joellelee.

What about FedEx'ing it?

Cherie

I am sorry for your loss, but have to agree. I think Grandma would be upset if you dragged yourself 1000 miles and got sick. I am sure she would prefer that you wear, love and cherish that ring instead of seeing it be buried and gone. This way she can live on in your heart with a reminder. Grandma are good at things like that.

I'm sorry for your loss. (((hugs)))
Don't feel guilty about not being able to go when you are not feeling up to it. Just make it a day of rememberance. I do agree with what others have written about the ring. Maybe you still have it for a reason - to have something of her to hold onto and pass on through the years.

I am so sorry for yor loss..:hug:

The others are right, I think God may have wanted you to keep this ring as a rememberance of DG.

Sorry for your loss, J. Cyn has the right idea, it's only stuff, the memories belong to the living.

Thanks to all of you :). I'm going to wear it today. We wore the same ring size.

As usual, you've made me feel much better about it all :hug:.