[keep smilin]

This is so real..why is it we have to prove our pain and disavantages to others who can make choices about our future..Recently I had to leave my place of employment of 25 yrs.... RSD is causing me to explore a slower pace.. but as we all realize..disability is like pulling teeth..so threating and cold people..always disatisfied with their information.. my Dr. is great..willing to do what he has to but in the mean time these disability folks add so much more "needless" stree to our lives.. Thxs.. for allowing me to scream..on paper..

KS

[loretta]

Originally Posted by keep smilin

This is so real..why is it we have to prove our pain and disavantages to others who can make choices about our future..Recently I had to leave my place of employment of 25 yrs.... RSD is causing me to explore a slower pace.. but as we all realize..disability is like pulling teeth..so threating and cold people..always disatisfied with their information.. my Dr. is great..willing to do what he has to but in the mean time these disability folks add so much more "needless" stree to our lives.. Thxs.. for allowing me to scream..on paper..

KS

Hi KS, I'm glad you can scream on paper too. We need each other, as we totally understand what you are talking about. 25 years- I'm sad for you. It pains us to not be able to work, and then there are those that love to collect a check than can work. I go day to day. I've never collected a dime, but have full body now and internal-not good. I'll be 62 in 5 months. Got this monster 15 years ago.
I'm glad you have a good Dr. too. I've had this great Dr. the last 6 years.
Take care of yourself, your friend, loretta with soft hugs

[keep smilin]

Originally Posted by loretta

Hi KS, I'm glad you can scream on paper too. We need each other, as we totally understand what you are talking about. 25 years- I'm sad for you. It pains us to not be able to work, and then there are those that love to collect a check than can work. I go day to day. I've never collected a dime, but have full body now and internal-not good. I'll be 62 in 5 months. Got this monster 15 years ago.
I'm glad you have a good Dr. too. I've had this great Dr. the last 6 years.
Take care of yourself, your friend, loretta with soft hugs

Loretta... yur the best!

Thank you for your reponse..yes, we do need eachother here..25 yrs. doing work I loved!! Yes..it basically tore my heart out to "walk" away..I called it on 12/3/09... so it has been only a few weeks since I left..but I was dragging my body literially... RSD worst in rt. leg.. walking with a cane is the only way I cn get around...also left leg..hip.. left arm and rt. jaw (go figure)..I go in waves since... tears are from my heart..the holidays have kept my thoughts occupied plus kids home from school..but I am bracing myself for when the holiday season has ended...I am not old enough to consider retirement, 47 yrs. old so as you can see I worked at the same company for over half of my life time. I was diagnosised 2+ yrs. ago following knee surgery..I was told on my 45th birthday..Guess my fustration now is my Disability rep. has placed my case as pending ... twice..it needs to approved/disapproved by 1/7/2010... but she decided to take vacation form 12/24-1/4/2010..so I am at a stand still but worried! Luckily my Dr. is going to call her personnally on 1/6... so that will be a big day...I wish you, my friend a very Happy New Year... it will be a good year, 2010..as we have our friends right here and we know we can count on eachother!!!

Love, KS

[vannafeelbettr]

What it is, is that so many people lie to abuse the SSD system, and because of it, those of us that are truthful with our ailments, will suffer the consequences!!! Like you say, it's bad enough we suffer..... why do we need ridicule with it?? Because the SSD system has to weed out all the fakers. So, we shouldn't be mad at the system for torturing us. We should be mad at the FAKERS and ABUSERS of the system which in turn forces such difficulty on SSD itself when dealing with us (aka the real deal)!!!

Best of luck!!!! Vanna

[keep smilin]

Originally Posted by vannafeelbettr

What it is, is that so many people lie to abuse the SSD system, and because of it, those of us that are truthful with our ailments, will suffer the consequences!!! Like you say, it's bad enough we suffer..... why do we need ridicule with it?? Because the SSD system has to weed out all the fakers. So, we shouldn't be mad at the system for torturing us. We should be mad at the FAKERS and ABUSERS of the system which in turn forces such difficulty on SSD itself when dealing with us (aka the real deal)!!!

Best of luck!!!! Vanna

Vanna..

BINGO!!!! I realize my case manager is just doing her job.. I am sorry if I had not come across that way..I'd give anything to be with my co-workers/friends and start each day out as I did before....

I wish you a low pain day...take care and Happy New Year!

KS

[vannafeelbettr]

Keep Smilin,

This experience for you (not working) is still young, and if you notice, you will go through the normal stages of grieving. Because, in a sense, you will be grieving the loss/death of your former self and life. It really does feel like you die, when your co-workers are at work, carrying on without you....... and when your name is mentioned, you know they are saying "so sad what happened to her and we're going to miss her." You've crossed over into a new life, and you're angry, confused, and lost!! Very good that you are venting, and not keeping it in, as after denial, comes anger in the grieving process, so you on a progressing road. A couple years into this, I will tell you (from my own personal experience) it does get easier, but part of you will always mourn that former self and resent that it was unfairly taken from you. What will really burn you up is those people that will tell you how "lucky" you are that you don't have to work. IF they only knew!!!!!

Don't feel bad if you don't keep smilin ALL of the time. You are human, and it is good to make friends with that angry part of you (to become familiar with it) and not ignore it.

Have a happy and healthy!!! Vanna

[keep smilin]

Originally Posted by vannafeelbettr

Keep Smilin,

This experience for you (not working) is still young, and if you notice, you will go through the normal stages of grieving. Because, in a sense, you will be grieving the loss/death of your former self and life. It really does feel like you die, when your co-workers are at work, carrying on without you....... and when your name is mentioned, you know they are saying "so sad what happened to her and we're going to miss her." You've crossed over into a new life, and you're angry, confused, and lost!! Very good that you are venting, and not keeping it in, as after denial, comes anger in the grieving process, so you on a progressing road. A couple years into this, I will tell you (from my own personal experience) it does get easier, but part of you will always mourn that former self and resent that it was unfairly taken from you. What will really burn you up is those people that will tell you how "lucky" you are that you don't have to work. IF they only knew!!!!!

Don't feel bad if you don't keep smilin ALL of the time. You are human, and it is good to make friends with that angry part of you (to become familiar with it) and not ignore it.

Have a happy and healthy!!! Vanna

Hi Vanna..

First Happy almost New Year..I just came back from having dinner with my husband and daughter to read your great note.. I even had 1 beer..thats what RSD has done to me... UGLY huh?!

I am so happy to have read your thoughtful note..You are so nice to explained that I have a bunch to ponder and this is a process..I so loved my work..that explains why I was there 25 yrs... I am so happy you have told me what to expect as now I understand the steps I will be taking and already feeling..I cry when I think of my friends and co-workers..it reminds me of the pain I felt when my Dad passed away.......

Funny.. I have heard others say how jealous they are of me being home..but later catch themselves to say...but not for the reason I have to be home...oh yea baby..5 minutes in these RSD shoes and they'll be begging to go back to work!

I wish you a wonderful 2010!!... soft hugs...KS

Your right, I really don't smile all the time..