Hello, I just found this forum I was diagnosed with rsd/crps in my left foot/ankle in July 2009.

About last October I started dating a guy, and he has been really wonderful and supportive during all this. But, and I don't know if I'm being paranoid or what, but it just seems like something is wrong. He is almost too nice, too helpful, he always wants to carry me somewhere, or rub my back or legs, or do stuff for me.

I'm starting to wonder if he just needs someone to take care of? And if this does start to get better/go into remission that it would ruin our relationship? He wants to get married, but I'm really starting to worry that if I get better he will not like me anymore. I used to be very independant, did everything for myself, and didn't like people trying to take care of me.

I know this is the opposite of what normally happens, most spouses and significant others aren't always very supportive, and don't try to understand. I know rsd has ruined many relationships. Has anyone ever had something similiar? It almost seems to me that he has a pathological need to try and take care of me . . . . .

Holley
You may be over thinking this,,,If someone really does love you, than they are supportive and will ask [if they trully care] what they can do for you when they are around you or before they leave the house,,my wife of ten years does this for me,,,,,Another thing that you need to factor in , so you wont be so paranoid,is your relationship is still in the "new relationship stage ',,,meaning he is still infatuated with you because of the newness of the relationship and it appears from your post that he is really into you,,,,let it play out,,I dont see any red flags from your post,,,It is a blessing that God has sent you someone to love and care for you,,,,,,,,bobber P,S ... In the event that you conditions worsens{ I Hope and Pray it doesnt } you will be glad that you have someone there that loves you enough to be there for you and help with your needs,,good luck to you on both the relationship and RSD,,,sounds ike your in the early stages,,,please seek aggressive medical attention, it is inperitive , exspecially in the early stages,

I would take this dating time to access if he is a good future husband candidate - RSD or not. Time will show you if it is right or not.
4 months is still in the romantic , lovey dovey stage.

Dr Laura suggest dating for at least 2 years before marriage to really see the true personality. Learn about his family also, that gives insight to the whole person.

Thanks, I'm just worried that the dynamic will change so much if he doesn't get to take care of me. He is a godsend, I'm sooooo thankful that he is there because my family isn't very understanding. We are going to wait a while to get married, I've known him for a while, but we have not been dating long. He wants to get married soon, because he's a federal employee and gets like 30 choices on health insurance, while my insurance sucks. And he has an 8 year old son, so the cost of adding me to his policy doesn't even change. I would not rush into marriage for that reason, but do love him and do want to marry him, so it's a hard call.

And yeah, I was diagnosed in October, so I was lucky in that it only took about 3-4 months to get the diagnosis. My ortho told me about 2 months into seeing him for my foot fracture that he thought it was crps, then once I got that confirmed by 3 other doctors he told me that I was really lucky to have seen him because he had seen it before and recognized that signs. I have been doing everything possible, sympathic nerve blocks (didn't work) pt, which helped a lot to restore my movement and function, although I am still bad about wearing my aircast a lot because it hurts so much without it. I know it's a huge no no but I can't function much without it, and religiuosly take it off everyday and make myself walk around and move my ankle and toes to keep it moving. I've gone through tons of meds, am doing infrared light therapy, biofeedback, tens unit, etc . . . . One of my docs thinks there's a good chance to make it go into remission since it was caught so soon and there's no permanent damage yet. But my pain doc keeps bringing up the spinal cord stimulator, which I am dead set against.

Let me first say ur boyfriend sounds great..
My hubby was never home or around cuz he was a truck driver.. He quit driving over the road and got a local job the year i got hurt luckily.. I always complained he was never there for me.. Then i got hurt. and he did a complete 360. he makes me eat.. he takes complete care of me, sometimes too much..lol.. Sometimes i have to tell him to back off and he does.. but i would do the same for him.. and he tells me " Dont look a gift horse in the mouth" and he is right.. Take the good with the bad.. If it gets too bad,, just tell him. if he loves you, and it sounds like he does, just tell him to step back.. Im sure hes just trying to do what he think is right not what u think hes doing.. Dont worry so much.. Im sure he will love you no matter what..
I hope everything goes well with your recovery and your relationship.. And sometimes relationships get stronger when bad things happen in them..

Hi. Can you talk to him about this concern? I think communication is very key. For me and the people in my life it needs to be balance. Yes sometimes I need assistance but it is also important for people to allow me to do what I can so using my voice is important. I think it is important to tell him your fears because living with this concern is going to take a toll on you. On to the air boot. I understand the catch 22 you are in. Before I got dx with rsd and pn I was put in an airboot. I was in it for 3 plus months and made my rsd condition worse. Now getting out of the boot was absolute hell and torture so I understand that too. I wear walking shoes every min I am up and about. Even at night when I go to the rest room due to the sensitivity. I had to wean off the boot and it brought a lot of days of tears but in the long run made things better. Do you have good supportive shoes?For me shoes and socks make a huge difference in pain level. Hang in there.

Good for you, Hang in there & trust God to guide.