WOW! Thank you all so much for your words of encouragement and support and for all the information. I'm happy to see that I'm in the right place . Lisa in Ohio the way you described being "addicted" to insulin and inhalers was like a lightbulb going off for me. I had never thought of it in that terms. As a registered critical care nurse who has worked in the ER and a public health clinic I have seen more than my fair share of drug seekers and people who are addicted to rx medication and have to admit that I have certain stigmas I attach to narcotic use. That is one of the things I am struggling with, as well as not adjusting well to going from being the nurse to being the patient and I'm finding myself very angry at times. Angry that I can't work and can't just get up go when I want to and that I can't run and play with my kids like I used to but I think mostly angry that I told my vascular surgeon, wound care doctor and primary care doc about my symptoms for sooooo long and begged for help and they just kept turfing me back to each other. I'm angry that had I been diagnosed in a timely manner I might have had much better results from my nerve blocks and might have a much better quality of life right now!! BobinJeffmo to answer your question, unfortunately I have had several integumetary changes to my leg/foot including thinning skin, hyperpigmentation, altered blood flow, decreased hair and nail growth and the ankle joint has also started to show signs of osteoporosis. And this has been progressive over the last 28 months so I think unfortunately I am one of the the unlucky ones whose illness will indeed progress. And with being a medical professional (in my "past life" anyway. I haven't been able to work since April of last year) I'm well aware of the complications that can arise, particularly for someone with my coexisting illnesses. But I know that those will be things that I have to come to terms with and I am happy to say that I did have my first appt with a psychiatrist who specializes in chronic pain patients on Tuesday. Just hearing someone validate my feelings and tell me I'm not actually going insane was very comforting. I did agree to a short term course of treatment with Xanax for the extreme anxiety days and Buspar on a daily basis and that seems to be making a tremendous difference. He also pointed out that (unbeknownst to me) I was actually on a very small amount of medication for someone with this condition, so at my neuro appt I agreed to a stronger dose of the Norco and that seems to be making a big difference as well. At the very least I don't have to take as many pills as often. But as comforting as all that is you guys have given me so much hope so thank you thank you thank you!!! Gatorsmama you hit the nail on the head. As much as my family is supportive and wonderful to me, they just don't understand. If I'm quiet and tense or short with someone, it's not that I'm mad at them or angry about anything, it just hurts to be me at the particular time and I need space. My poor husband especially feels like I'm shutting him out at times but I don't mean to. I just hurt! To know that there are others who struggle with the same feelings and obsticles is immeasurably comforting. So thank you and God bless each one of you! I look forward to reading more of the message boards and leting my newly found light at the end of the tunnel guide me through this dark time! Thank you friends!!

Dear baseballmomma and Bob...

I just want to thank you for for your posts...Very nice, informative and kind...It is so nice to be in the same corner with you and all of our family here... Bless you all and take good care...Hugz, Kathy

Hi Mama, I am so glad to hear that you have gotten angry!!- it is certainly better than despair, and when we get angry, we get active, which helps in the long run. ( Wow, what a disjointed sentence!) I am also so glad to hear that you are seeking and finding some good, qualified help. Never, never let anyone tell you that you are not entitled to your feelings mental and physical, they are yours and for that moment they are right. So glad that you are doing better and have found this group of special angels to walk through this journey with you. Peace my new friend, Lisa