this is exactly what my heart needed tonight.


hannah

Everybodys rock bottom is different and for different reasons.

When I was diagnosed with RSd years ago, I was not married and was only looking out for myself.

A few years after my diagnosis I did meet someone and got married.

Then a few years later we had out first child. A girl. But, a month before her birth, I was hurt at work. Started out as something minor, but has led to 3 surgeries, loss of job, stress, depression and know no income.

What really hurts me, even as I write this, is when my daughter was learning to crawl and walk, I couldn't walk or crawl. 3 surgeries meant I was non weight bearing and stuck in bed for weeks. I cannot ever get that time back to help her walk or times when she goes to the fair or to the store with my wife and I can't because of the pain. I lost absolutely the first 2 years of her life. Even today, I have to limit what I do. And still loose out on her at times.

The feeling of not being able to play with her and her being attached to her mother so much, that it is hard for her to just play with me. I am breaking that barrier down slowly.

It is painful everyday to see her and to now what I lost out on. But I will do anything for her and yes I do have my days where my pain takes me away even when I am right their.

My RSD, tarsal tunnel syndrome and back pain are nothing compared to the pain of not being able to play with your child or do things actively with your child.

I vowed never to let anyone treat me the way my company commander or first sergeant did when I was in the Army and diagnosed with RSD, but the laws that allow WC to get away with what they do to injured workers is a disgrace. I will fight for every dang thing I am entitled to. I will never back down till I feel I have gotten my just medical care.

I may never get those 2 years back that I lost with my little girl, but I will never let anyone take that away from me again.

Sorry for the rant as I really needed that.

Bugguy , Children are truly a gift from god imo , I could not imagine how tough those two years had to be .... I was diagnosed in 99 and now have a almost two yr old granddaughter who I have missed out on a lot of activities as well , however I am able to be with her on good days . She has attached herself much more to my wife as I cannot do a whole lot with her and that does hurt , so in a way I do understand where you are coming from. I have learned to hold on very tightly to the good memories we create and do the best I can with it . I think children have a 6th sense of things as when I am really hurting she will curl up next to me on the couch and just lay with me .... which is unusual for her as she is normally 90 mph .... Sorry for the time you have lost as I know it cannot be replaced but just make sure to remember the goodness a child brings into our lives ! Take care ...