Krank,

Good to hear back from you. Thank you so much for your service to our country. Can't stress that enough.

I used to be very active as well, now I'm happy if I can walk to my neighbors house without much pain! I used to be a competitive water skier, golfer, biker, hunter, walker, the list goes on. Can't do any of that any longer.

My days are spent working on keeping the CRPS contained and not angry/flared! It got out of control when I was diagnosed in late 2008, but with a combination of therapies, I've had some success 2.5 years out.

Hang in there. As mentioned, one day, one hour at a time. Find somebody to listen and find a way to laugh. Gotta have both with this monster in my humble opinion.

Now I've only read the first page of responses and I can't keep my mouth shut. Do you know how much money you have already saved by letting out your true feelings here, instead of having your wife take you to a psychiatrist. TONS. But the important part of that is no one is wanting you to commit yourself to an institution, because they've all been where you are. I'm not even sure you could find a psychiatrist who could relate to how your feeling as well as these amazing people do. Did you ever notice that 90% of the time every response starts out with, "I'm sorry you are suffering with this."?

Aside from the comfort and consolation offered the wealth of info, experience, and advice is worth at least a diamond mine. If you go up to the Spiritual sanctuary, tenderhearted, full of God's spirit willing to help carry you burden people are just waiting to lift your name before the Throne of God.

No one believed me when I said how much pain I was in. Even my own personal physician who now agrees that I have CRPS in both feet, both ankles, going up my legs. I can't even remember how I got here, but i'm sure the Lord Himself sent me. Not one person here has ever questioned my pain or my rants. I went through a period where I was asking my husband to beg, borrow, or steal a chain saw to cut off my left leg. Ha, little did I know I would also want him to cut the right one off, but that is just about the time I was wandering around here and someone's dr was suggesting amputation. I quickly learned that wasn't the answer, but I also learned what to suggest to my dr or even learned to understand what I would submit to and what I wouldn't.

This place is a gold mine of tried, accepted and rejected, information

But more, much more than that it is a community of folks who know exactly how you feel, and 'this too has passed'. They will hold your hand until you see the light. But you must listen and believe when they say they've been there. And someone who's been there knows that there IS light at the end of the tunnel you are in. And I for one don't want my husband of nearly 43 years telling me I'd be better off without him. I know I wouldn't want to do this without him. I know that now instead of organizing and planning our entertainment/vacations/free time, I need a babysitter to entertain me! Now I know why God has thus far granted me ten of the most marvelous grandchildren in the world who are bothered in the least by the color of my feet, they just want to know if I have any new games to play or are we going to play scrabble. Or can help them make cookies? I don't have to move an inch to be energized more than I could have imagined. My four year old grandson, the last time I was able to sit with him while my daughter slept, was so distraught when said I had to go home, he told me to call G'pa and ask permission to stay over night because he didn't know what he was going to do if I went home. I told him I had to go home to take my medicine, and he said in his four year old smart,quick thinking, "no you don't, we got plenty of pills here!"

Now what would it do to this little guy, let alone all the rest of the nine of them to know that I just couldn't take the pain anymore. That hurts as much or more than the pain. I have a friend whose grandson saw his dad hanging from the rafter in the garage. That precious little soul will never get that pic out of his mind, nor will that man's mother who is struggling to help care for his two children when she gets the opportunity to see them.

It is not the answer Krank, and that is from a cranky old woman who is tired of work comp telling her the auto accident she was in while delivering the mail didn't cause her RSD because her dr isn't wording his letters exactly according to her wishes.

My life is 180 degrees different than Dec '09. But I'm learning that it is still good, and I'm still learning ways to incorporate 'fixes' to help me even more. Yesterday I read on here about a woman whose friend has extensively gerry-rigged her shower so she could wash her hair. What a precious gift. But Krank,we need you 'cause when you get passed this, there is going to be someone behind you who is going to need your hand, or words, or shoulder to lean on to lead the through the tunnel to the light.

Hang in there buddy, there is a crowd around you and we aren't going to let you fall!

We've all been there, and trust me none of us got a Tshirt. A respite or a cure is what we'd prefer.

With prayers for solace for your heart,
pat e

rest assured my friend that we undertstand. i know that doesn't help your pain but for what it's worth you're not alone!! keep fighting. that's all we have sometimes and if it gets so bad you can't stand it fight harder. get your pain meds, demand them and don't worry about side affects, long term damage - just get relief. not sure what you're on for pain but demand releif. it's inhuman to suffer so much. we put our pets out of their misery but we humans suffer through misery unjustly. demand meds and take them fearlessly.

Krank,we have all been where you are now! I also just lost my Mother this month! I have also (not that I am proud of this)been thru 2 divorce's. My oldest son which has had my only 2 grandchildren will not even talk to me? The crazy thing is he will not even tell me why! My pain level almost every day is about 7-9! I know that you can make it,please have alot of trust in this site,and all of the great people on here that are more like a family than one will ever know! If you want to please remember you can alway's pm me! With lot's of concern and hope! Breezy55!

Feeling like a burden to friends, family, and society is one of the tough things about this disease. But we can all contribute to the degree we can even if that's only just taking care our own needs or some of them. I used to be the guy who did all the work in most every situation and never got any accolades for it so so what if I have to impose on friends to help me do some little thing? Just plan ahead so the imposition is as minor as possible. Get a hobby, do research, read, write a book or just reach out to others on the net. There might be some volunteer work you can do. Just try to get outside everyday.

For me this thing is not just pain but pessimism and I have to fight the pessimism with the same vigor as the pain. Nothing has really worked but I am continuing to learn my triggers and getting better at avoiding them. Distraction and the right meds are critical. We need our sleep more than just about anyone probably. After a good night sleep I can wake up and feel almost normal sometimes even though it rarely lasts more than an hour and the effect is worn off completely by late morning.

There's still a chance to beat this thing but more importantly there's life even if it proves impossible. It can't be like the life you once had but this just means more time for old and new hobbies.

You're not a burden until you're not trying. There are always people who like doing a lot of work so pass the baton and let them go.

Good luck.

I am new here. I know where you're coming from. The feelings of desperation, burden etc can be so overwhelming.
My RSD/CRPS is confined to the right side of my body (so far). I've had it for 9 yrs now and there are days when it's a bit much.

Try to find a psycologist who will talk with you. Non-judgemental and willing to listen. I've been with a pain counselor for 1 1/2 yrs now and he has helped me so much. I can't do the pain meds because I'm anaphylatic so the counselor is all I have left to help.

A few things that have helped me are just a few simple things:
I knit if for only a few moments a day (it's my passion)
I listen to my favorite music
I smile if only for a moment
We have pets and they give me great solace

Hang in there.

To Krank and all who have posted here,
I found this site just a few days ago. Since then I'm finding that there truly are people out there who have the same thoughts as I do. Coming from a small town in MN myself, I am cut off from anyone who has anything like I do to talk to who understands. In desperation I went to the net and here I landed. Krank, you and I share many things in common. From the worst winter I can remember in my 53 years living in MN to this red-hot monster RSD.

No words seem appropriate to express what I felt when I read your message tonight. Just compassion and hope that tomorrow will be that 70 degree day that is forecast. Would it help to share that after almost 6 years of pain in my feet/ankles/knees hope is only around the corner when we look around that corner. Don't give this disease what it wants. Meditate on something--Hawaii/ocean breezes/sunsets--whatever it takes to get out of your body/pain for a while. Distraction is the best method out there.

Remember those who would be crushed to lose you--and those of us here who can help. Nothing is better than going to a psychiatrist who can give you that combination of drugs to get you through. --we are here to continue on.

Sitting in MN

Teresa Marie

I just got out of the hospital because I was done with my life. I have a severely disabled son and my mom just finished

hit the button again.
Well that's about all. Thanks