[ElsieGrant]

I can't seem to write much at the moment in regards to the story behind my RSD and I am not sure anyone would really want to read about it anyway. My hands are sore to type and my mind is foggy...stumbled in here tonight hoping to meet someone to talk to about this horrible disease and also offer my experiences with nearly every drug and treatment available. It's been 9 years since my fall and 4 since diagnosis and sometimes it seems like I have had too many medical traumas to function normally. I am only 22 and I can barely walk...my dreams have been crushed more times than I can count and too many people that I thought were friends and family have hurt me...even when I don't talk about my pain and try to act as normally as possible. I can't seem to find just one person who will listen and I am so lonely it hurts. Many healthy people don't seem to realize how RSD can effect every single part of your life...and now that all of my doctors have given up on me I feel lost. No more treatments or options are available to me and I cry every day wondering what I did wrong. I was 13 when I fell and I am now 22...I never had a chance to get started. I live below the poverty line and I have no way to rise above it. I used to try to change my life but I have been beaten down too many times. I have no idea what to do tomorrow, or the next day let alone the rest of my life with RSD. I am barely able to get through each day without the small hope that lies in the search for pain relief...which is over. I suppose talking about it with people who understand is all I have...I just don't have anyone that I can do this with. I am so scared of constantly being alone while this disease continues to get worse.