I am sooooo sorry and I get it. It s so unreal. We re one way and boom another, but sadly it's not like a car wreck and we are immediately faced with broken bones, etc. to me it's a slow death of what we were to the reality of what we ve become. I go to bed every night thinking I'll wake up and be ok, bad nightmare. I'll have a day like today where I feel half human and think it s all up from here and then I'll be set back a week in pain from the hope. If you need an ear or shoulder, friend me . . . I'm a great listener, great at advice just not for myself. I wish you the best.