[Angelina55]

I am sorry but I really need to vent. I am having a really hard time with pain lately. Then to top it off my boyfriend broke up with me because of the CRPS yesterday. It made me feel worthless and not worth loving because I am in pain. When you need someone the most they just leave, it is hard. And when they leave you for the reason you fear the most it is horrible!! I have a hard enough time trying to convince myself that I deserve someone to love me even though I am in so much pain.

[birchlake]

Angelina, I'm so sorry to hear that news. And it's fine to vent. But damn, it's hard, isn't it?

If that guy broke up with you, it's his loss. I have read many of your posts and can tell that you are a caring, loving person.

Things will get better. They will. Stay the course and don't let somebody else define YOU.

[AZ-Di]

Angelina,
He is such a jerk for doing that to you!
You're a wonderful person and you deserve better anyway! I've read posts here about people getting engaged to someone who already has CRPS.
It's hard enough to have this condition but then not have the support you desperately need!
I'm praying for you and you need hugs
My husband has says he understands but doesn't really, 'cause he says some really stupid insensitive and hurtful things regarding my CRPS. He's become distant and disconnected unless I'm just "light", entertaining or sexual while hiding my CRPS.
We need a thread that deals with the emotional side of CRPS.

[Brambledog]

I'm so sorry, what an insensitive idiot he is. One day he will need understanding for a health issue himself and will maybe realise how horrible it is to be judged on something you can do nothing about....until then, you are better off without him if he cannot love you for who you are.

You must be devastated. My husband is normally pretty great, but sometimes he does wander off emotionally, as though he just can't deal with it for a few days. It's always hard to think that this danged thing affects him so much, and that he needs some time off from it....wish I could! You sound like your pain is really peaking at the moment, so it might be worth seeing your doc and asking for some more help to manage it.

You will find someone who can love you for all that you are, including the CRPS. Never give up, because you are worth so much more than this guy has made you believe for now....

Bram.

[Nanc]

Angelina, so sorry you are dealing with this on top of your increased pain. If this guy is so insensitive to dump you because of your medical condition, then he is not worth having around. Anyone that shallow is not worth your time or energy. You deserve so much better than that and you will find it!!!

My husband is proof that there are good guys out there. We will be married 14 years in August and as my condition and pain worsens, he gets better, more supportive and more understanding.

Keep your chin up! I know that this is hard no matter what, but you will see that it is a blessing...you do not need someone like that in your life!

Nanc

[catra121]

What a worthless piece of scum...seriously...forget about him. You DO deserve to be loved and at least you don't have to waste one more minute of your life and time on someone so undeserving. UGH...people like this are just the worst. You just forget about him and move on. I know it's not really as easy to do as it is to say...but I have faith in you that you will find the person out there who you are meant to be with. You are NOT your RSD...your RSD is just one tiny piece of the whole and it doesn't define you. If the person you are with can't see beyond it then that's his terribly huge loss, not yours.

[reluctant@thetable]

Some day you will realize what a blessing it is that your boyfriend left you. Not today, but some day....

My husband is 8 yrs. older than me. I had always envisioned taking care of him in his older years. We are both getting up there in age.

When he had bowel cancer several years ago, I helped him through that. I was with him all the way. I even caught mistakes by the healthcare workers that were impacting him- His oxygen saturation levels were very low after surgery and his nurse kept trying to wake him up more and have him breathe deeper. I asked the nurse why they weren't giving him oxygen & she said they were and pointed to the wall connection. I pointed out that the meter and tubing were connected to the air outlet instead of the oxygen outlet. She immediately switched my husband's tubing to the oxygen outlet and his saturation levels increased. I joke with my husband that I saved his life that night.

Then I came down with crps. It's been difficult for my husband to step up and take over some of the tasks I was used to doing. And because I have always been stubbornly independent, it's been very difficult for me to give up the tasks and put more stress on my husband.

In reality, I probably will outlive my husband even with my crps. And I will be ready to help him however I can and with whatever illness may come his way. (He doesn't have the healthiest lifestyle but hey, I could be hit by a car tomorrow.)

With that said, on a particularly difficult day for me, my husband said "You know when we exchanged vows and I said in sickness and in health, for better or for worse? - I had my fingers crossed".

It's difficult for any partner to have to help the other especially when it's so serious. But we will ALL eventually get old, some of us will get sick, some of us will die quickly. No one knows how he/she will go. It's important to have someone by your side who is there for YOU and for better or worse, in sickness and in health, who you can rely on despite the difficulties life throws at you.

I read this once on my facebook page and will try to remember it here b/c it fits- "Don't look back- your future isn't there".

[Allanira]

He's a jerk! and doesn't deserve to even be considered any which way from Sunday. Keep your head up. My husband is 7 yrs older than I am. I always thought I would have to take care of him cause he's a firefighter in the USAF. Well since we've been married he has had to deal with my health issues. We didn't even know what was wrong with my till a few months ago. If he can't stick it out through the good and bad he isn't mature enough. This gives you the chance to go out (don't sit at home moaning about it) and have fun. Yes we hurt, yes we get in foul moods because we hurt. You WILL find someone that is right for you. He will be an awesome loving guy that won't let you feel down in the dumps. Now I'm not sayin he gonna be perfect cause no one is. But he will love you for you pain and beauty in all.

[Angelina55]

Thanks everyone!! I feel much better about it. I am not going to let one bad apple get me down. I know it will be hard. Dating is hard enough without having health issues, but I know God has someone out there for me who will love me no matter what. I am a great person who will give my all in a relationship so I shouldn't expect any less from them. I always said I would never settle, so I am not going to. I just needed the reminder and you all reminded me!! THANKS!!

[Senathon]

Don't take the breakup as a downer, but as a blessing. You found out early that he is not accepting you for who you are.

As I tell my girlfriend that her RSD is part of who she is. The RSD has made her stronger and more mature and open to new things.

Now would you want to date someone who can not accept you for who you are? What happens fruther down the road when you get married? How would he deal with marriage, children, and RSD? Would he be there for you and children then?

It sounds to me that this guy has a relationship issues. This has nothing to do with your condition. A real husband/father will not use any medical condition as a excuse to not take responsiblity.