Dont know how this got to work or no work lol. But, it is a good subject, and one we all need to read about. One thing I have learned is that we all are different in the ways this monster has effected us, and how we are able to deal with it.

I never got to try the grape seed because I am without the money to sustain the dosage, or even begin for that matter

I always wanted to though.

As for work, man that is something that I have fought with my inner self over for about 5 years. And about meds, well I remember that it took my doctor 3 years to get me to at least try them, and I found they work more than I thought when the doc dropped my insurance. So now no meds at all.

For me the losing the ability to work did not come on all at once. Little bit by little bit this monster has taken my life away from me. Just today I was outside talking with a couple of my boys about how I feel life has been passing by as I watch.

Then my son pointed out that when I was working life was still passing me by
He said that the difference is I was never around to experience life, I was always working. So life was passing me by. Now he says at least you get to play with the kids, and sit and talk with us. So it only a perspective, how you see it.

I think it depends on what you worked at, and how your employer would deal with the problem employee. I could never go back to what I was doing, even though it was a cush job. There is no way I am able, and my employers wouldnt put up with me missing days on short notice, or going home early etc.

It doesnt mean I gave up, cause I didnt. I tried to start my own business thinking I could make my own hours, not answer to a boss. But found my customers were my boss, and they also wouldnt put up with my problems. These problems effect every aspect of my life.

It has been 5 months since the pain meds were takin away, and in all honesty I would jump at the chance to have them back. I never realized how much they helped. I would estimate on most days it took 35 to 40% of the pain out. That is a lot compared to the 100% I am feeling 24/7 now.