Thank you all so much. Your kindness is much appreciated. We didn't have time to talk today. He was gone for work before I woke up, but hopefully tonight will be better. I definitely DO push myself as I am sure a lot of y'all do also. Right now I just don't have it in me, and that may be the problem. Again, thank you!!

TK

TK,
It seems that hubby comes from a terribly selfish family. My heart and love go out to you!

I hate to say this, but, be prepared. You may need to see a divorce attorney. You deserve love! As we all do!

Do what you must, you still've got a long way to go!

Pete

asb

A burden? That is so unfair and its not true. We all have different things to give in relationships.

And why would he tell you that? Unless it was to explain why you wouldn't be seeing those people any time soon, then I can't see what is to be gained by telling you.

I'm sorry you are being treated that way.

Right now I think I'm just being avoided. My husband used to work until 3:30-4. Now I don't see him before 6. It's really depressing. I just kind of lay here all day. Probably not good for me.

What if you asked him "what if the shoe was on the other foot?"

TK,

I'm so sorry that you are dealing with this. That someone who has professed to love you through sickness and health would kick you while your down, just infuriates me.

I would try to focus on YOU right now. You've got enough on your plate with the scs situation. When your own health issues are a bit more stable, I would revisit this issue with your husband. If you aren't already seeing a counselor, I would start now. Confronting your husband, which for me would HAVE to happen at some point, can end 1 of 3 ways.....it's either going to make things better/get things back on track, stay the same, or make the option of staying with him totally unacceptable. I would want to have some emergency plans in place incase that conversation(s) went horribly wrong.

As Bramble said, you've been dealing with the RSD monster, we KNOW that you are strong.

Take care of yourself....and know that you ARE supported, here at least

1. I wonder why dh told you what they said?? to gossip and hurt your feelings- because that's what happened..

2. Did he have your back and defend you to them , or just keep quiet, or agree with them??

But, I would try to not worry about what they think & say, and when you can focus on your & dh relationship..

I just recently went through something similar to what you did. I had a particularly bad day and spent most of the day in bed. In the evening when I TRIED to have a normal conversation with my husband of many years he groused that perhaps if I woke up early enough to talk with him, we could have a normal conversation. I retorted with "perhaps if he had my disease he would understand that I have bad days".

Then he said "I wish I had your disease, then I wouldn't have to work". Talk about a punch in the gut. I wouldn't wish this disease on anyone.

In my mind, I'm justifying his remarks as coming from pressure about being the breadwinner, the insurance provider, etc. But he is older than I and although this disease is awful, I believe that one day I will be giving him physical assistance to the best of my abilities. And I hope that I have enough character to not complain to him about what a chore he is to me.

This disease takes a toll on relationships and marriages. I am mentally prepared that if he wants out, he knows where the door is. I don't need someone with attitude in my life and I strongly believe that G*d provides for us. With that said, I also believe that his verbalization of his feelings may have provided a pressure relief valve to him.

I removed myself from his attitude and went back to bed. LOL. Tomorrow is another day and I'll see what that brings.

I don't know if this helps you but just know that you are not alone.