I am going to an outdoor event this weekend that I will attend no matter how bad I'm hurting. I was out almost two weeks ago and had to seriously hold onto my DH's arm to get by later in the day. I do not want to depend on this, he says it's okay but it doesn't allow me to walk like normal. My dad left his travel cane at my house, and if I put it on the shortest setting I think it's right for me (my arm is just a little bent while holding it straight-ish down). My pain is the same on both sides as the injury was in the middle of me. I'm right handed, but it's my right hand that is tremoring. It seems if I lose any balance it's toward the right, so I'm guessing that's a better side to use it on. Maybe switch it back and forth? I use my mouse with my left hand so I should be able to do that.

I kind of wonder if my DH is embarrassed or something if I do use the cane. He knows what's going on but still I see him hoping it's just not that bad. I'm the one dealing with it. People use canes all the time, and I can just tell people "my neuropathy is acting up" without explaining everything because nobody knows what CRPS is.

I don't normally need anything, but want to be prepared and the weekend before last was the first time I really needed support. Any tips, advice or opinions would be great.

Are you going to PT? They would be the best to ask. Normally if say you have a bad hip/leg on the left side you would place the can in your right hand. I certainly wouldn't suggest making this a habit because you may wind up adding compensation pain to the mix of what you are already dealing with. That is also a good reason to either ask you PT for sizing or go to a pharmacy and ask for assistance there. You want to walk as normal as possible so that the firing order of muscles don't change.. and thus become even more problematic. If the fit isn't right it can throw everything off from your neck to your feet.. not fun.

When someone who doesn't know me asks me what is going on with me I just simply say I have a condition that affects my nervous system - similar to MS. It is the easiest way I have found to answer quickly without questions to follow.

Good luck on your outing.

I have a walking stick that I use instead of a normal cane when I need to, and I decorated it with bright curly ribbons in colors that I like to make it as cheerful and pretty as possible. It's kind of a "if I have to use a cane, then it's going to be on my terms, and I'm going to make it pretty!" kind of thing. A little bit of control in an out-of-control situation.

I still feel bad for my kids and husband, because I'm in my early 50's and my parents and my in-laws are in their 80's and can run circles around me, and "all the other moms" at school are normal, ya know? but that's just reality - I need help walking sometimes, and it really helps. They're used to it now, and will even remind me sometimes if we're going somewhere where I might need it. But I totally know what you mean - it's SO hard to have to actually see something like a cane, when you keep wishing so hard that it isn't true. Best wishes for a good resolution for this! I think the best thing to do is talk it out, and work together, and try to balance your needs and his needs. Maybe sometimes you can skip the cane and use your DH's arm if that's what helps him, and sometimes you can use the cane if you don't want to have to hold onto his arm 100% of the time.

My middle son was born with caudal regression syndrome and has no legs (well, he kind of has little stubbies, but basically no legs). There were times when he was a baby and he was in the stroller that I would cover his body with a little blanket and put a scrunched-up blanket under the top blanket so it looked like he had legs, because I didn't feel like using the extra energy that it took dealing with people's reactions to him, and I wanted people to see him just as a cute little baby. Most days I didn't do this, but some days I did. It might be a bit of the same thing with your husband - it might just be a little break for him if you sometimes just used his arm - do you know what I mean?

A really hilarious thing happened once when I was doing the fake-legs-under-a-blanket thing. Some total stranger came up to me and bent over the stroller and started cooing about how cute he was, and then she said "I just LOVE babies' feet!" and actually reached out and whipped off the top blanket and came face-to-face with his stubbies and twisted, deformed little feet. The look on her face was priceless - she stood there with her mouth hanging open, unable to make a single sound except a kind of gasping noise. I said my usual explaining thing that I had perfected for that period of shock when people saw him, and that gives them time to recover, and finally she recovered a bit and stammered out something or other and fairly ran off. I bet she never did that again!

Anyway, here's a gentle virtual hug, and I hope you two can work this out with compassion and understanding, as well as an acknowledgement of reality. And I recommend ribbons for that cane!

My heart goes out to you SloRian!!! And to your son <3

Thank you! He's a sweetie and well as a little rascal!

We ended up amputating his feet because they just got in the way and they were really misshapen. He loves to come up with foot jokes. One time when the wrestling team was coming home from a meet on the team bus, they were in a very minor car accident - they bumped the car ahead of them (it's a small bus). The bus driver shouted back to the guys, "Is everyone OK?" My son immediately yelled back in a terrified voice "I can't feel my feet!" Everyone was shocked for a split second, then they realized who said it, and the whole bus burst out laughing!

OMGoodness that is awesome!! Thanks for sharing such an inspiring story. I'll bet he brings a lot of perspective to your life.