I wanted to thank all of you for your kind and caring words. I felt for so long like I was all alone in this situation and felt like I was a failure. But by hearing your comforting words I can see that I'm not alone or a failure. You're right, I didn't ask to have RSD and have never heard of it until I got it. My marriage was never perfect before I got rsd, and yes, there were rocky times. I am a nervous worry wort and am sort of an introvert. I communicate better with animals then with people. My husband is more laid back and loves to be around other people. He is a total extrovert. He has a big heart and has always helped me and our son when we needed it, but he does have a short fuse which makes him yell at times. But he's a good person. I'm far from perfect myself that's for sure. But no matter how hard things got, we always seemed to be able to face it together and hangle it. But rsd has been harder on our marriage than anything else we've ever faced. I know it's not easy having to drive me to all of my dr appts and the pharmacy to get my meds. And we didn't plan on him being my caregiver in our golden years. It's not easy for him. And then there's the financial stress from all my extra med bills from rsd. But like all of you said, it's not my fault I got rsd. It was an accident and I don't enjoy having to depend on someone else all the time either. I was always pretty independent until this happened. The other problem I have that has strained our marriage even more (without giving TMI) is that we now sleep in separate rooms. I cannot have anyone touch my skin. It sometimes burns and sometimes stings and it just hurts too much. I feel awful about this, but it's because of my rsd. I asked my husband to see a counselor with me, but he has never been one to express his feelings to strangers, so he won't go with me to one. He did say he will try to work with me to get along better. I need to be more understanding with his position now as well as the other way around. Hopefully, we will be able to make our marriage last. We've survived 25 years, and I hope we can survive another 25 years. All we can do is try to keep communicating. Anyway, I hope that all of your relationships go smoother and thank you again for all of your compassionate words. You are true friends. With love, Renee.

Hi Finz,
Thank you for your kind words. I'm sorry your marriage was in trouble before rsd and hope that things work out for you. I will pray that they do. I also wanted to say on a side note that I love the picture of your dog. He looks alot my dog Sarah. There seems to be quite a few people who have dogs that look my mine. Pretty cool! Anyway, thanks again for caring and take care.
Sincerely, Renee.

Hi Bram,
I'm sorry you and your husband had to go to a counselor, but am glad things seem to be getting better for both of you. Thank you for sharing your experience with marriage and rsd and thank you for your kind words. I hope you have a pain free and happy day today.
From your friend, Renee.

Hi Tessa,
I wanted to thank you again for your caring and compassionate words. You have made me feel that there is hope for my marriage as long as my husband and I keep trying to make it work. Your kindness have given me hope that things will be okay even though I have rsd. Thanks again. You're a good friend.
I hope you have a wonderful and pain free day today.
Sincerely, Renee.

Hi Renee, I have also found it helps us when we find ways to smile together - watch a funny movie, swap funny stories, watch a sunrise/ sunset, anything light hearted that you two can connect on and foget about CRPS even if its just for a short time. Despite our losses, we still can do so much to keep quality in our life. Be well ~Lottie

My response would be, which of my marriages did it cause problems?? LOL....

OK to answer the actual question,......

Well into my third marriage I can say it makes it a lot harder to keep a marriage than without RSD. I seem to be a lot better with a group of girlfriends than with one partner since my injury. You might think that one would get a LOL, but I am serious....!......

For me at least and my partners, it is a lot easier to be able to spread the stress and medical visits around for all of us between ~three women from the problems having RSD causes. I am always honest about not wanting to be serious with any one woman from the start so they all know they are part of my group if they stick around. And believe it or not, I have never not had one stick around....

In my 5th year now in my current relationship I decided from the start this time to keep my other women in my life when I got serious. And in this relationship it has really helped with the dealing with my constant medical issues and stress. When one of them is fed up with my pain related problems I go to one of the others so she can calm down. This system works very well for me so I plan to keep it for as long as it works....

My point is, That the only way to make a marriage or relationship work with a chronic illness is to have a big group of supportive people( for me women ) so all the stress doesn't end up piled onto one person....

Good Luck!

Well said Lottie

My husband and I (why does that make me think of the Queen's cut-glass accent?!) have recently discovered table tennis We play a little every day, and both love it. We are both pretty competitive and get some good rallies going, and have a good laugh too. At the end, we always hug and kiss, and it brings us closer every time. Aww.

Plus, as a bonus, it gets my cardiac activity up a bit without wrecking my legs

Three cheers for anything that makes us laugh with those special people It's the little things...

Bram.