thank you and welcome its a great place to be lots of wonderful people just like you. If you want you can go and see my story so you understand Im in full body stage 3 RSD. Its everywhere. But Please also keep in touch and I will watch for you > MY prayers are with you to......................

Hugs Karen

No I dont I have no one to help do anything. I asked my dr to ask my insurance to get home heath in .Mt ex Husband said we never had it we were paying for years but I found out we do he said he called I lost all money for getting help I have nothing left to pay anyone dont ask me why he would when we were married want to pay someone to be here when we have the same insurance I will not be able to pay for my insurance 500.00 a month coba HMO soon but intil I still can I am asking for everything I can I called and trying to take care of that and asked my dr to also. I dont understand anything he did know that I know and he is also a nurse. But Im trying know .If you have anymore ideas please please let me know I know you are on my freinds list you have been here from the start thank you so much. Lot of hugs to you ........................

Karen
its just me and my son ......................

EVERYONE THANK YOU ................THANK YOU I NEED LOTS OF THE HELP EVRYONE HAS GIVEN ME AND THANK YOU FOR THE KIND WORDS I JUST WANT EVERYONE AND I MEAN EVERYONE THAT WROTE TO ME HOW MUCH IT MEANS TO ME ....................I WILL AND TAKE EVERY THING THAT EVERYONE HAS SAID AND I HEAR YOU ALL AND THE CARE FROM ALL AND HOLD TIGHT TO IT THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


GENTLE HUGS KAREN

((((((Karen)))))),



Some financial 'thingies' to think about and maybe to apply for:

Local welfare office:
- apply for SSI, Medicaid, food stamps.
If you get the SSI, you'll automatically get the Medicaid.

If you're denied Medicaid coverage, apply for Free Care at your local hospital. Hospitals are required to take a reduced amount of government funds for a certain number of people. I have Medicare. But my secondary insurance goes back and forth between Medicaid and Free Care -- it depends on which government bean-counter did the calculations this year. I'm losing my Medicaid coverage because I'm receiving $1 too much in SSDI. So, they're throwing me back into the Free Care Pool again.

Social Security Administration:
1-800-772-1213
- Apply for SSDI. I'm assuming that some of your doctors will state you are considered 'disabled'.
- If you get SSDI, in two years you'll be eligible for Medicare (I'm praying for MORE than two years.) In the meantime, Medicaid will usually cover you until your SSDI application is approved.

I learned a huge lesson when I was taking care of my Mom. She was feisty to say the least. My son didn't know how to help. So, I had to show him how to do certain things that would really help me -- like feeding his Grandma.

Your son is much more experienced and older, so he's more knowledgeable than my son was at that age. He's going to need to feel really useful while he's watching something happen that he doesn't want to happen.

One of the things that he can do that one of my friends from my hospice recommended is to pull together a list of everyone that you want to call and place it near your phone. These could be emergency workers (doctors, nurses, hospice helpers), friends, neighbors, church workers. Since your boy doesn't seem to have the support from your Mom or his Dad that he should during the next period, he should make sure that he has at least a couple of close friends that he can call if he just needs a hug or an attentive ear.

You mentioned having a hard time getting past the pain to be able to focus your thoughts enough. I have fibromyalgia -- it's pretty much stabilized now. I remember the huge all-body flares. I can't even imagine... From what I understand about RSD, it's like fibro in that it moves around and it comes and goes and flares, but, it's worse because it's more painful and it doesn't take much to flare it up.

Your son will be a good resource to keep you organized. He needs to do this and it'll help you.

You know something, Karen, people like you and I who've worked in the health care field have a slight 'quirk' about us -- we don't like to accept help from others. During times when your health is not the best, you need to learn how to ask for and how to accept help.

When my Mom took sick in South Carolina, I saw such examples of kindness and caring and loving from some people that I did know and a lot that I didn't. A small Southern town -- that's what they do. Help.

I saw it with one family during my work at the VNA. A 95-year old man with stomach cancer. Thank G-d, he had no pain at all. He was very blessed. He had me coming every day to help him bathe and dress and change his bed. He had a female housekeeper who used to play in his front yard when she was a little girl. She knew all the old Italian recipes. He might only eat a bite, but, he got the memories and the feeling of being part of his culture just from that one taste.

The man's family (and he had TONS of them, grown children, grown grandchildren, great grandchildren, and more on the way -- not to mention his friends). They put a calendar on the refrigerator. Everyone wrote down something to do. Even the grandkids. Someone would take him to the barber. Someone would purchase the bread for the week. Someone else the paper goods. Someone would take him to his eye doctor and his oncologist.

No one got overwhelmed. And that dear, wonderful, special man got to stay at home until the end. He was surrounded by people that loved him. He slept in his own bed. It's a blessing to live and to die that way.

And that's a life that's possible for everyone that allows The Universe to send the help to your door.

Oh, try to get off of that Cobra insurance as soon as you can. That thing will break the spine of your checkbook -- nasty program with good intentions behind it.

BIG HUGS. If I think of anything else, I'll write more. You can send me an instant message any time you want, Karen. I was just preparing for an appeal tomorrow on my own Medicaid coverage -- that's why all that "crap" was still fresh in my head

Barb

Kitti,
have you called or applied for any of the county resources yet ?
your county website- social services-
http://www.slocounty.ca.gov/dss.htm
http://www.slocounty.ca.gov/dss/Food_Stamps.htm
http://www.slocounty.ca.gov/health/p...lefinances.htm
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http://www.slocounty.ca.gov/dss/adult.htm
In-Home Supportive Services (IHSS)

The In-Home Supportive Services Program provides homemaker/chore services to over 2,000 seniors and disabled residents through the services of over 1,400 caregivers. Domestic care such as meal preparation, laundry, shopping and personal care services are provided to enable elderly, blind, or disabled persons to remain in their own home, to help maintain and strengthen capability for self-care, and to safeguard functioning in their own home.
You may be eligible for IHSS if you are a current recipient of Supplemental Security Income (SSI) or would otherwise be eligible for SSI except for your level of income. IHSS is provided through Individual Providers who are hired by you, monitored by the Department, and paid by the State.
How to Apply for Adult Services

If you are elderly, blind or disabled and concerned for your own safety or if you are concerned about the safety of an elderly or dependent adult in San Luis Obispo County, please call (805) 781-1790.
Any person has the right to apply for In-Home Supportive Services for aged or dependent adults. Certain conditions must be met to qualify for the program. It is important if you or an elderly person you know needs help to contact the Department of Social Services and speak with a Social Worker.
To Apply

Please call telephone number (805) 781-1790 to apply.

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If things ever get to a certain point where you cannot be at home - is there a plan in place for your son to live with a caring & supportive adult?

How are you doing, Karen? Please let us know, when you feel up to it.

Hang in there!

Sending much love and many prayers your way!!

Dearest Barb,
Thank you so much there is so much I want to say but my hands are in so much pain right now I am going to put you on my friends list and as soon as I can I do want to talk .You have great ideas I just dont have people here but I need to somehow someway.I have been here almost 15 yrss but everyone is not here anymore because Im not the same karen shopping driving doing things like that but I will try to Eveyone is on line.I have asked my dr to get homehealth now that I know that Im covered I need to pull people back if I can. Thank you I hope everything goods well for you to I will be thinking and sending hugs for you. My Birthmom I meet a year ago she told me she has fibro. She called me after my birthday crying because he felt like its here fault I said NO ITS NOT full body RSD stge 3 its affecting my breathing Im 39 yrs old and I hope you dont mind I read the part about my son wil feel like this and he said yes I need to do these things that would help he said he didnt wnt anyone to touch me when I pass only him first that his time and he wants to and he problly will find me passed away he want to hold me in his arms and hug me and talk to me and tell me he will be ok and I was a great mom and he wants me to know that..............He is super kid He is mine.

But I do want to talk somemore I was just reading I read two and had a good happy cry because you all are great Thank you Barb very much
Lots of hugs

karen

P.S. BarbI love Beaaars I collect them I have a 4 bedroom home one room is art room Teddybears and guest the other is an office libary for my son he reads 6 books at a time so I made him a special room but he is with me in my room or his or livingroom but usually very close So I love the hugging bears I smiled when I saw that...................

Gentle hugs Karen

Thank you so much for all these numbers and sites. I kept asking that much help from my mom nothing ever. I cant believe you did this for me It seem so much Im going to be calling and looking on the sites Friday.......ALL OF YOU HAVE BEEN SO WONDERFUL MORE THEN EVER I JUST DONT HAVE THE STRENGTH OR IM STILL LEARNING PC I WOULD CALL ONE PERSON AND NOTHING NEXT NOTHING it was getting to the point of nothing and my drs are "MAKING ME AS CONFERTABLE AS POSSIBLE"" nothing I just went to day he didnt the pain dr he didnt even see me handing a prescription and said they were backed up and they could help me anymore.................WHAT

With my son thats one thing my mom loves in this world more than anything and before I had my will and trust gone I talked to my son agan and asked again because I have a great loving Aunt and Uncle not here but he wants to go to my mom and then my aunt and Uncle But he would be here if he was with mom and he would see me then. She would do anything and see goes for my son but its not that way with me growing up was like that her job was more (TEACHING) I wasnt raised with my dad we started getting close and knowing each other when i got RSD or alittle before he had is still going through thoat cancer for the last 9 or 10 months he didnt tell anyone specail me he said because of my health he said its hard I dont talk or see him he is in Palm springs about 8 hours away. but the rodatiion burnt his voice. But where my son wants to be is here and my step dad is great with him . and that having a man in his life thats good would be great they spend time together now but its coming Im trying to make it to Adam my son is 18 out of high school 3 yrs but I dont think I will But Im tying . I told my mom after he goes to college she said fine if thats what I want I said that is what I will do I told my son he said he will stay home and go to college at Cal Poly University Which everyone wants to .Its one of the top schools for vets or computure desisgn. I dont want him to live here He needs his live too.I would love him to but he needs to move on. There are two nice assist.living places here. Thank you for asking me that .Its not just me its my son to....Thank you again I will let you know............

Gentle Hugs to you
Karen/ kitti

Thanks, ((((((Karen)))))),



You know that old man that I told you about?? I was with him for almost a year.

He had a story that he told me almost every single time that I saw him. He had a dear friend that was sick for a long-long time. Every time a birthday came and went, his friend's family wondered ... how much longer?? The friend kept saying I knew someone that lived to their 85th birthday and passed right after their birthday party. I'm going to do that.

My dear old man told me this story almost every time. And he laughed uproariously. I could never understand what the laughter was for.

My dear old man reached his 96th birthday. He had his family and friends over to his house. After everyone left, he went to bed at night and just took his next steps.

There are skills that are available to everyone if we just don't fight The Universe. What you need to do is visualize what you want to accomplish -- see your son in his cap and gown, see the party afterward, see him starting his first year of college, see him coming home on breaks...

Don't 'fight'. And don't 'try'. Just get a real strong image in your heart and in your head of what you want to accomplish -- the gifts that you want The Universe to give you. It's worked for others

Sleep tight, Karen, don't let the bedbugs bite. My Daddy used say that to me every night when I was little girl. I went to bed every night knowing that I was loved and cared about. You've got that, too, Karen. Just open your heart and feel the love and the prayers and the blessings surrounding you and your son and the rest of your family.

BIG HUGS.

Barb