Yep that drug is the pits for any kind of bedroom activity, and so are most of the drugs they will want to put us on

I have went from taking large doses of pain meds, and depression meds....to just taking enough to take the edge off the pain. I just deal with it. As long as I can get it to where I am not biting everyones head off.

Once they took me off gabapentin I noticed things in the bedroom got a lot better. And once I got myself down to just enough pain meds to just get me to a 6 or 7 in pain, and maybe a 5 sometimes. My attitude got a whole lot better.

The hard part was just giving up the idea of being totally out of pain, and actually being ok that there was going to be pain no matter what I did......it got a lot easier to manage they way I handled the pain.

Now the sad part.....the actual act....you know.....it increases the pain
So now that is the mind game I have to play.

I chant, and my wife thought I was weird at first. But I would chant....think like a monk....think like a monk.....which is telling me to be single minded. Force everything out of my mind and focus on one thing. It is really hard to do LOL!!

Just remember....think like a monk!

That's not too far off—Mindfulness Meditation.

See also: http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/thread203897.html

Doc

Lol Allen!!!!!!! I know it's not funny in reality at all, but it's hard not to think about!

Good for you. We have to find ways past the obstacles CRPS outs in our way...and if chanting like a monk is one of them, then chant away!

Bram.

Thin like a monk ....think like a monk.....think like a monk

OK Allen, if you say so! But, I'm having trouble piecing together the concepts of monks and enjoying my husband LOL.

I'm not on gabapentin so I can't offer anything about side effects. But, since we're on the topic ........ intimacy has disappeared at my home. I've had chronic pain for 15+ years., 4 spine surgeries, lots of narcotics and so on. My husband and I love each other and kiss/hug/cuddle but nothing more. I know the narcotics blunted my libido for years, but I am currently taking very little and trying to cope with the pain in healthier ways. We haven't been intimate for so long that I feel awkward even trying. This makes me feel sad because its another loss of quality of life on a long list of losses. This disease has stolen so much from me. Any suggestions or thoughts are appreciated. This is a difficult subject for me to even write about. -lottie

Sadly......I finally get to where I can kinda, and my wife starts having physical pain troubles and meds, and then she now has to learn to think like a monk. But if she never learns it completely, it will be ok with me because we have been together married for 36 years, and dated for almost 3 years before marrying at 18.

My high school sweetheart

I guess age is catching up to both of us. I will still enjoy her company and if anything else happens.....well....I will think like a monk!

At least we raised 6 kids, and now have 26 grand kids to keep us occupied. WOW seeing that in writing.........

I had my six week follow up Friday for my hysterectomy. Doc prescribed viagra for me as a stop-gap until the meds are out of my system. Normally my insurance doesn't cover it, but there is a special "sexual dysfunction treatment/meds are covered if/when it is a side effect of treatment of another issue" sort of clause. It's turning into a thing to get them to pay for it, but Pfizer does a first 3 pills free coupon. For anyone else with that clause in their insurance, the stuff really works. I was grinning ear to ear and practically skipped out of Wal-Mart with my prescription. The pharmacist laughed at me.

As for what to do after time off? There have been periods where we've gone what for us was extended times on break. All I can recommend is to ease into it and communicate. It's only been 5 years for me with the pain, but it's changed and migrated in that time and my husband is always afraid of hurting me. It was an accident with him and a mallet that caused the spread in my left hand and arm so I think that's why he's so paranoid. I try to approach it knowing there will be pain, but that the pleasure is worth it and hopefully is enough to overcome it and push it to the back of your mind for a little while. My pain in my leg goes all the way up through my hip and into my lower back, so things can get... awkward at times but we get through. If you tell your husband you're interested in trying again, even if you have to take it slowly until you get there, I'm sure he'll be like a dog with a bone and all over that. omg I crack me up!

Well done everyone talking about this, it's amazing and so helpful

I think any medical issue affects your physical relationships....and let's be honest, sex is a physical activity, and finding any position that enables you to 'get there' is difficult if not impossible at times...

Our repertoire (cough ) has reduced greatly in recent years, but when I feel well enough we still find a way. Keeping a sense of humour about that side of our lives has been an absolute MUST! If the physical limitations (the 'ows') stop things, then we have to laugh about it, however ironically.

Talking is key. I had a couple of glasses of wine one evening and we talked about stuff that normally, even after nearly 20 years of marriage, I still find awkward! I told him what hurt, what didn't, whAt I couldn't physically deal with, what we both wanted to try, what we could leave, knowing when to stop, etc. Not a 'safe word' LOL (no shades here!) but that there's a difference between me saying ouch (I do that a lot anyway) and me saying 'stop' if I need to. He understands, he's been amazingly supportive and careful lol, and we work out a way round some things, and avoid others. We have fun and a giggle with it, and that's amazingly intimate - even if nothing outstanding occurs!!

Low lighting, a glass of wine, a giggle and no heavy expectations were our key ingredients. The wine is optional, but I found it helped alleviate some of the awkwardness of the first few times 'trying things out' - for both of us! Just talk and experiment and chuckle and talk and try some more. I think we're closer now for having to find a way through.

And on really bad days...he's just there for me. A hand in the darkness. My rock.

Good luck everyone

Bram.

Narcotics can do horrible things to testosterone in both sexes (see above link), which can have a huge bearing on libido in both sexes. I can't say that's the issue in any individual, but depending on how one feels about it, it may be worth having tested.

emphasis mine

Doc

Excellent point, Doc Smith. Menopause was happening when the CRPS monster showed up so between hormonal changes and narcotics, I guess testosterone could be a factor. I will discuss with GYN doctor. -lottie