Hi Everyone,

My husband moved out, I am fine about it. He never excepted the fact that I am in rough shape, even though it's been 5 years. I never even bothered filling for SSD. For one thing I could not drive at all at time or write out any paper work to do so. He never wanted me to even apply, I guess because of power and control.

Well anyway he is a workaholic among other things. He says he doesn't want a divorce but he certainly doesn't want a marriage. I am asking for alot less than I would be entitled. I want a simple life but with him all I have is chaos in my life. Any suggestions? Hugs, Roz

[Hippyhair]

I too, have a broken marriage. I moved out in Dec. (cuz I couldn't handle the house payments and got a cheap apt)
We both couldn't handle all the changes. We didn't like the "new" me. I still don't like myself much, but , yes...life is simpler now.
But now we must just work on ourselves. At least we can nap when we feel like it, roam the hallways at night, turn the tv and stereo on as loud as we want....and try to heal...no.....try to COPE , because, maybe there's no healing with us..
Take good care Roz! Here's to a simpler life!...
Hippy

Hi Hippy,

Was your husband a workaholic? All I am getting is bunch of games. If you can't play the game, I need to get out of the field. I am not supposed to lift anything over 2 pounds which is nothing. I am trying to be very very reasonable but how can you when they aren't. Do you or anyone else think it's just he doesn't want to have to help me at all, so it's easier just to stay married. Hugs, Roz

[allentgamer]

Man Roz im sorry to hear this. I do understand though because my wife has a hard time with some of the things she has to do for me. She will jump for my kids if the say frog, but im invisible.

Maybe he just needs to think about things? I wouldnt let him take advantage though, your intitled to be taken care of. Sure he might not like it, but you didnt make the laws, and they are fair. Im sure if you ask either party they wont agree, but that is my point. Each person gets what is fair, and that means concessions from each.

Really I hope that you get what you want, need, and deserve, and will be praying that way for ya.

Love ya much!

[dawn3063]

Oh, Roz...

I'm sorry to hear that you have to deal with this now.. I hope that your son is close so you have the support that you deserve..
You need to get what is owed to you.. Medical cost are very high and with your medical history money is Big.. Plus, what is yours is yours and you need to be taken care of... You are in my Prayers.. I do hope in the long run it will all work out for you and things can come togather..

Big Gentle Hugs
Dawn

[Hippyhair]

I can't say how your hubby thinks, I quess, if the communication is still there, you have to ask. Mine wasn't a workaholic, he was a playaholic...in the long run, I guess any "'holic" is bad. Throw in a bit of RSD, stir it around, and, the problems multiply.
Sorry, I have no answers....counselling? talking?
Hippy

[watsonsh]

Oh Roz

I am sorry to hear this. What happened to...for better for worse. I guess he forgot those vows. I think he is being selfish and I am a workaholic so i can judge him on that front.

Do not compromise what you are entitled to for this marriage just to make it easy. Otherwise he is getting off easy.

Grrrrrrrrr this just makes me mad and I just want to give him a piece of my mind.

[bassman]

Roz,

I am so sorry when things like this happen. Sometimes people are too afraid to work at it. So you need a little more help with things than you did "before." So what? I am sure that he also had "needs" that you attended to.

Where you want to go from here is up to you. You can take care of yourself even if he is not there. Get some counseling, even alone if necessary. It may not change anything with your partner, but I am sure you will feel better. (We all can use that from time to time.)

Know you have a lot of people here who do care about you.



Mike

Oh, dear Roz

Whether you feel like it, or up to it, you must get a fair deal worked out, whether you stay married or divorce, everyone is so right about that.

I have been reading your posts now for 3 years, I get a strong impression of a man who is a control freak, is a workaholic, probably loves you, but can't handle a disabled wife. He works hard, in a "man's world", construction industry, right? and wants a wife who will kowtow to that stereotype. I've never got the impression you'd fit in with that stereotype....

You spent that time in the cabin, you know what living without him is like...you'll be fine. As long as you work out a fair deal with him. It may not have hit you yet, don't hesitate to come here and blast him from the rooftops. Though it sounds as if you still have some respect for each other...

And on that note I leave you------> artist wanders off muttering "the swine! the *****! the ba888st*rd!"

all the best

[Jomar]

oh Roz... it's such a tough situation to be in.
And a very intense decision for both of you, not something to rush into.
I hope you both can come to some resolution- for the best thing for all in your family.