A few things happened on my way to attempt 'normal'. My knee locked up/gave out/threw a hissy fit in the shower. Thank goodness my son installed a fold down shower seat! I was able to limp out but I was unable to put weight on it for a little bit. I called for my daughter but she was still sleeping, so I ended up throwing my bathrobe on the floor, slid myself down and dried off/got dressed sitting on the floor. And waited. My daughter came in a short while later and retrieved my walker that was just out of reach.

We then went to get my 3 phase scan done. The tech had a hard time finding a vein and blew the first attempt. The scan itself was no big deal until the return and she put a lead apron between my legs. One edge rested on my knee...ouch.

Not sure what I was seeing, so no guesses on what the findings are. I did however, log on to my online chart & noticed a diagnosis I don't recall being there before: 'marble bone'. Anyone ever heard of this? I thought it may be related to my osteoporosis but a mini google search negated that thought. Not sure if this was an input error or related to the scan findings. Guess time will tell.

I did horribly regarding my smoking cessation yesterday. I'm going to throw the pain excuse in the air on that one. Back to the hard work at it today and pray I can continue to advance again tomorrow. The timer thing works as long as I remember to set it. I'm trying to at least look at the clock or smoke at the start of a tv show to gauge the time. Probably should just go cold turkey but I'm terrified of becoming more of a beyotch than I usually am.

Going to maybe attempt a shopping thing at wally world today. The last time I tried, all the zoom-zoom's were battery insufficient. Have to get a few things to get the house together before my grandbabies come!

I feel for you on the floor dressing. Did that for months, which is most unpleasant on tiled floor in winter! Wore the seat out of several pairs of pants dragging myself across the floor upstairs where it was useless to keep a walker. One's pride really becomes irrelevant after a while.

Maybe you should try cold turkey. Haven't you cut way, way back where it wouldn't be as bad? That would be an awesome gift for grand babies...

I found I had better luck shopping in the morning, especially on Fridays and weekends. The scooters are plum wore out by mid-day and never get an adequate charge on busy shopping days.

I have cut way way back and then horrible pain day hit and I lost it. Not totally, but enough to beat myself up about it and then the feeling like a failure makes me crave...ugh...it's a vicious circle.

It was actually one of my falls a few months ago that prompted the 'contraption' order. At my grandson's 5th birthday party (last Oct...in CA), I ended up scooting from the driveway to the recliner. So embarrassing since it was all my daughter-in-laws family there - my son was deployed at the time. Then there was a couple months ago when my right hip got stuck. Between the left knee/leg and the right hip, I was fairly well screwed. Slid up the stairs but I couldn't get up onto the couch. With all the weight I've gained on these stupid meds that did nothing my daughter wasn't able to get me up either. So I sat on the floor leaning on the couch...lol.

There was actually a scooter outside in the cart coral today. Full battery but the idiot who drove it out there left it on! An employee helped us load the Jeep with our purchases and drove the scooter back in. Which was a good thing because I had lost all feeling from mid-thigh down.

I wonder if marble bone is just the doctor's personal description of osteoporosis?
On quitting cold turkey...I remember my dad used to smoke 4-5 packs a day, developed emphysema, then quit cold turkey when I was about 12. It was rough on him, but my mother helped us understand his jitteriness (is that a word?) and except for one really bad day, he never went back. Don't worry too much about being a "beyotch", you'll probably do better than you give yourself credit for. Sounds like you've already come a long way! Congrats on that! You're certainly not a failure, you've undoubtedly worked very hard to cut back so much already. I've watched various family members struggle with this over the years. I watched my uncle die (literally) from emphysema. It's not pretty. I watched my aunt struggle back and forth with quitting for many years, before she conquered it. It's difficult, but keep trying, you'll get there!!!

I did a little research on marble bone. Similar to osteoporosis in bone fragility, it's actually much more rare and there are 2 types. One is discovered in childhood, the other as an adult. The technical name is osteopetrosis. I suppose it could have been a typo or checking a box that on first glance looked like osteoporosis. Just found it strange that I didn't notice that diagnosis on my chart before the scan. I very clearly have osteoporosis, that was diagnosed a few months ago.

I am so grateful to have you all support me with the quitting thing. I do believe I can...more now than I ever have...I was real close before about 15 years ago, then the doctors gave me a terminal diagnosis for my son. Yeah. Quitting wasn't at the top of my agenda at that point. My oldest & his family are actually flying in on the anniversary of my 2nd son's passing. I fully plan on having quit by the time they arrive. Thank you for your support!

I'm so sorry. But what an awesome way to honor your son's memory! We're cheering you on!