[stillsmiling]

Tonight, like many nights, I am awake because of the severe pain I am in. I have full body RSD, so nearly every night it's either particularly bad in one area, or it's just all over bad pain. That's not my point in writing this post this morning though. Every night I am awake because of pain I get on here to read everyone's stories and comments. A couple things. First, we are an AWESOME group of people!! To endure what we do, and keep on keeping on is truly remarkable! The other night my 12 year old son (my kiddos are 8,10,12, and 14) said, "Mom, you don't give yourself enough credit. You're the sweetest person I know, and you still laugh and smile even though you're in the kind of pain most people could never handle." (FYI my three oldest are boys, and my youngest is a girl. Between all of those little hearts and my sweet husband I am almost totally dependent on them for even my BASIC needs.) When my son said that to me I didn't just think about myself. I thought about all of you!! I recently shared this quote on here but it is something I try to remind myself of frequently, "we show others infinite amounts of compassion and kindness, and yet we forget to show ourselves even a portion of that same kindness and compassion." I've been hesitant to write these things because at any given moment I could be on here writing how rotten I feel and need this reminder! but seriously it is true that very few of us extend the same love and kindness to ourselves as we do to the people around us. That's my goal! Let's give ourselves more credit! No matter what stage of this disease we are in, we still have a lot to offer those around us. I am working on not apologizing to my family members that have to help me to the bathroom or help me in anyway, and yet when I truly reflect on this disease, I am grateful. Because of it, my children have learned to be the most compassionate little people I know. Years ago a therapist said, "whether we see it or not something good can be taken from life's hardest trials." I think we all do pretty AMAZING things! Tonight I'm seeing the good! Stay tuned though......tomorrow I might be crying in my big fat pillow!

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