Heya..

Well... I saw my PM today and he was very blunt as he said there is nothing he can do for me at all, and that we both know he can't cure me and we both know that he can't make me better. We decided to retry some nortriptylene.. oh well! It doesn't work brilliantly, but if I could get more than my max 3 hours then live might get slightly easier.

I have a referral to discuss the pump!! My PM doesn't do them and he doesn't know know if it will be able to help me, especially with the reactions I have to surgery but at least it's something!!! It will be good to know if it will work for me and whether it's something that could be done. Their issue is they are concerned that it won't help with the spasticity enough..

What got to me though was that someone I know who is 19 and has RSD saw him just before me and was being prescribed DMSO etc but they won't prescribe it for me because of the amount of damage I've got or something.

Yet, this girl keeps going on and on and on about not being able to do anything she can WALK, she can use her arms. Oh no. She can't do sport anymore but still plays the clarinet. I was so frustrated and ANGRY that I saw her last night and she was walking fine, totally flat footed and totally normally - no limping, no nothing, YET she turns up at this appointment in a wheelchair without any shoes on and with both of her hands in "spasm" (until she got engrossed in conversation when they, of course, relaxed). I know I'm an evil b**** but that really got to me. (I considered slapping her yesterday when she said she needed to work on her transfers - er, she can walk! and stand! and do stairs! WHY do you need to work on transfers? you can stand and walk without crutches!!!! no idiot is going to hoist you or give you a sliding board, but then realised I can't slap her so just growled instead).

Ok. Feel abit calmer now. I'm not saying she doesn't have pain or that she doesn't have issues with mobility, it's just very frustrating and some days it feels like she is competing against me - which, lets be honest, she has lost before she even started. Why can't she be happy with being able to move around? Why is she apparently jealous of me???? AGHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

ok. breathe.

...and again!

Love ya

Froggsy xxxxxxxxx

PS... He asked for all the articles you guys found!!! So, just sent them to him.
xxxxx