Haven't floated away...

EnglishDave · 11-01-2015, 05:34 PM

Littlepaw and DejaVu,

Mental illness is difficult to deal with, I have been on both sides with self destructive tendencies earlier in my life, then with my Mum's mind being destroyed by Alzheimer's but trying to keep her independent in her own home. The strain on the supporter is always almost too much to endure.

Prayers for protection to both you and your Charges.

Dave.

Hopeless · 11-01-2015, 09:47 PM

I took a "First Responder" course several years ago and the first thing they told us was that we had to take care of ourselves FIRST, because we would NOT be able to help anyone else if WE were not OK.

It is very admirable to want to help family and others but you DO need to take care of and protect your own household members, too.

I don't have the gift of words as some here do, but I wanted to say that you can only do so much before you have to safeguard yourself.

So often, we do not realize just how blessed we are until we learn the plight of others. Not just those that have problems but also the caregivers plight as well. It is a difficult position on both sides of the coin.

Oh, I hope this comes out the way I mean it, from the heart and caring. I just don't express myself very well sometimes and things come out all wrong. My fingers type without the aid from brain activity sometimes and what is in my heart doesn't translate well onto paper.

Hopeless · 11-01-2015, 09:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EnglishDave

Littlepaw and DejaVu,

Mental illness is difficult to deal with, I have been on both sides with self destructive tendencies earlier in my life, then with my Mum's mind being destroyed by Alzheimer's but trying to keep her independent in her own home. The strain on the supporter is always almost too much to endure.

Prayers for protection to both you and your Charges.

Dave.

There you go. Dave said what I wanted to say. He is so good at that. Guess you can tell I was not an English major in college. I am a numbers person, not a word person.

Littlepaw · 11-02-2015, 08:46 AM

Thanks DejaVu, Dave and Hope!

Dave, as usual you are a font of understanding. Experiencing the challenges from both sides must be part of where you get the empathy that we all appreciate so.

Hope, Your care and concern come shining through! You are right that self-care is an absolute must with so many different things. We really need to take notice and respond to our physical and emotional needs. That was part of why I stayed home and helped from here. I have had to be firm about boundaries concerning late phone calls and short of one night she has honored that. Because What can I possibly do in the middle of the night except get alienated from helping?

DejaVu, Yes, I too am grateful my sister is open to housing. It was partly the impending loss of it that threw her into a tailspin. I just found out last night that she is getting into a more 'permanent' short term solution we had been exploring.

She sounded brighter and more rational on the phone yesterday. Yeah!

Thanks all. I am glad I let you guys know it's not always rainbows and bonbons here in Littlepaw world.

Diandra · 11-02-2015, 09:05 AM

Dear Littlepaw,
Many prayers and positive energy being sent your way to you and your sister.
It is a heartbreaking situation and can be so exasperating because all the support and effort in the world(on your part) won't help if meds are not taken and treatments not followed by your sister.

Listen to your loving family, do what you feel comfortable doing and then try to let it go. I know that is easier said than done though. It is so tough when someone you love is going through this, especially when they are not nearby.

Wishing you strength to get through this.
Again, prayers being sent for you both,
Diandra

Quote:

Originally Posted by Littlepaw

Thanks for the concern. We are always okay where we are, everything just runs off down into these canyons. And I try not be going anywhere when we get torrential storms.

The situation with my sister (who is out of state) is really difficult and imminently dire. Flooding would be easier! She has severe mental illness and is going through a highly stressful time and just not functioning on any level. I am quite worried about her and was looking at airfare to go help her in person twice this past week. My husband and son really don't want me to go. They think it would be too hard on me and they are probably right.

So it has been a lot of calls and emails and faxing, with her and agencies trying to get her set up so basic needs are met. Like meds, food and shelter... This is really difficult when someone isn't functioning and has no follow through. Ugh, no wonder I am tired! She has burned a lot of people out so help is limited. I have maintained the most neutral relationship with her over the years and try to be loving and supportive but with good boundaries. Often a challenge.

It's just a terrible, tragic situation. I know I can't save her. But I have to do what I am able to that might help in hopes she will get stabilized and more likely to succeed.

The hardest thing for me is that it just so very, very sad to watch someone you love implode....

Thanks everyone for listening. Prayers for her would be deeply appreciated.

Diandra · 11-06-2015, 01:15 PM

Hi Littlepaw,
Thinking of you and how you are doing with your sister's issues.
Just wanted you to know that you, your family and sister are being thought of and prayed for.
My best, D.

Littlepaw · 11-06-2015, 04:00 PM

Thanks Diandra for checking in! And thanks to everyone for prayers and concern.

My sister is still having difficulty but doing a bit better. I am getting back to routine which is great. I was losing sleep being worried and that's just no bueno.

We are working on her taking her meds and She seems to be understanding that it really is a matter of life or death. Before, it was just me saying so. Now, she is realizing how much trouble she gets in without that support. If she gets to consistency with this I know it will help with so many different things. She is getting into a short term lease this weekend (yeah!) and we really want her stable enough to keep that going forward!

appreciative always for all the caring souls here,

DejaVu · 11-07-2015, 06:24 PM

Hi Littlepaw,

Great news!

So glad things are working out well!
What a relief for you and for your sister, too.

Love and Prayers,

DejaVu

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