Sorry I was in pain yesterday, I felt alone and gone in a dark world. I feel like a fool for what I did and said. My life is hell and I should not go off like that what a mess it was.
The darkeness overwhelmed me and took control, I do go to see a shrink and pain doctors, I do all the breathing and relax stuff. some times it does no good when stress and pain are so high. Lord knows my family could care less I feel my wife is far diffrent now she feels like I did something wrong for not working and bringing in the big money, my kids just dont show much feelings they do show the fact money is not there anymore. We live in a great area and money matters! so we might have to go live in a smaller place we can afford, and it wont be on the right side of town how spoiled can we get, I think what did I do I raised them wrong! and my wife has to work and we had to sell some stuff so I'm a BUM for not taking care of them! a druggy, and a faker!
So lif is great so far..

Don't blame yourself and try to look at this from the kids' perspective.

We usually look healthy and it's hard for ANYONE who hasn't dealt with this to understand.

Hang in there.

At some point you have to have trust and faith in yourself - you know the truth about how you feel.
But it does sound like your pain meds and/ or antidepressants aren't doing the best job that they can for you.
Maybe a reevaluation or readjustments of your meds/dosages needs to be looked into??

Thank you for responding. It is good to hear a different side of you. Maybe you did raise them spoiled, however, by having to move "to a different side of town" it may teach them some humility. Maybe your wife too, but don't count on that. As Jo said, it doesn't seem as though your meds are doing their job. Maybe next time you talk to your shrink and doctor you can inform them about it, and maybe get something stronger.

Hugs.

1to Talk

Unfortunately there are times when it takes illness and injuries to open the eyes of some of our loved ones. It sounds as though your wife and children were always taken care of very well by you and now that you are unable to do so they are throwing tantrums so to speak...

Moving to a smaller home into an area that isn't in the right side of town as you say opposed to upper class isn't bad as long as it is safe.

Stand strong... Your wife married you for better or for worse... She needs to remember that now... If she were in your shoes... You would be there for her... Wouldn't you???

Remember, This isn't your fault. You didn't ask for this... Just do the best you can and "Take care of your health" your in a partnership with your wife she needs to help on the other end right now...

Many Hugs
&
Dawn

1to Talk
Don't Be Sorry For What You Said. We All Feel Like Tht Alot Of The Time. I Used To Feel So Guilty For What I Could Not Do Anymore. It Almost Ate Me Alive. My Husband Is Disabled Also. I Have Had Pain From Birth, Bad Hip. But I Was The One That Worked, Cleaned The House, Made The Meals Etc. When I Couldn't Do It Anymore I Blamed Myself. When I Had To Stop Working And Has To Wait For Social Security Things Got Real Bad. We Are About To Lose Our House. I Blame Myself For That, Not Working Anymore. This Site Has Made Me Strong. Iam Still In So Much Pain But Being Her Has Helped Me Feel Better About Myself. Keep Coming Here. Everyone Will Help

Love Sue K.