Funny Stuff

emilys gramma · 10-05-2006, 08:58 AM

> > A very elderly gentleman, (mid nineties) very well
> > dressed, hair well groomed, great looking suit,flower
> > in his lapel smelling slightly of a good after shave,
> > presenting a well looked-after image, walks into an
> > upscale cocktail lounge. Seated at the bar is an
> > elderly looking lady, (mid eighties).
> > The gentleman walks over, sits alongside of her,
> > orders a drink, takes a sip, turns to her and says,
> > "So tell me, do I come here often?"
> >
> > <><><><><><> <>
> >
> > An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for
> > a number of years.
> > He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have
> > him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the
> > gentleman to hear 100%.
> > The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the
> > doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is
> > perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you
> > can hear again."
> > The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my
> > family yet. I just sit around and listen to the
> > conversations. I've changed my will three times!"
> >
> > <><><><><><><>
> > Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were
> > sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the
> > other and says: "Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm
> > just full of aches and pains. I know you're about
> > my age. How do you feel?"
> > Slim says, "I feel just like a newborn baby."
> > "Really!? Like a newborn baby!?"
> > "Yep. No hair,no teeth, and I think I just wet my
> > pants."
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> > Keep Reading
> >
> > A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:
> > "So I hear you're getting married?"
> > "Yep!"
> > "Do I know her?"
> > "Nope!"
> > "This woman, is she good looking?"
> > "Not really."
> > "Is she a good cook?"
> > "Naw, she can't cook too well."
> > "Does she have lots of money?"
> > "Nope! Poor as a church mouse."
> > "Well, then, is she good in bed?"
> > "I don't know."
> > "Why in the world do you want to marry her then?"
> > "Because she can still drive!"
> >
> > ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

jewells · 10-05-2006, 10:27 AM

thanks claudia just what the Doctor ordered for today, laughter!

coachV · 10-06-2006, 09:17 PM

hey you guys.....lay off with the old people jokes, willya?.....i'm going to be an official old person later this month! (60th birthday, yuck!).....at least i think it's this month.....my memory's not what it used to be.....then again, my memory's not what it used to be.

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