[frogga]

Hiya

Do any of you have rsd fits?

I have had them on and off for the last couple of years but they appear to be getting worse. I had a horrible one on Wednesday which lasted 6 hours during which I broke a couple of fingers and dislocated my knee and shoulder and ripped the cruciates ligament and stopped breathing (the spasms forced my neck over my shoulder so all the pressure was on my windpipe and my lips were blue). The pain was so horrific, it really scared me. I live with 9/10 pain all day everyday but that was a new level of pain. Apparently I screamed down the whole of the student accomodation block for about 20 minutes and then passed out. I also refused to go into hospital so instead Ben and Margo ended up having to deal with it with both of them holding me down with one holding my head to stop my neck from twisting too badly and so the spasms wouldn't break my neck whilst the other tried to control the jerks and stop my shoulders from dislocating.

However it now means I am totally screwed as I have absoloutly no movement from neck down, Every time I'm touched or moved I scream and I need to be in lectures (decided to miss them so far but will have to go back on Monday). However I can barely sit without falling sideways out of my wheelchair even with the sling, pillows, postural supports and brace on. Grrrr.

I know that I HAVE to get through this pain. I just wish it wasn't this hard and I'm so scared I cannot keep fighting this at this level. Even Ben and people who have known me through some rough RSD times last year were really concerned - apparently it's the worst they've ever seen me and as Ben was looking after me at the time he just really concerned - apparently it's the worst one he's ever seen me have and he said that he hadn't really understood what level of pain I lived with until he saw me on Wednesday.

Grr. I feel so pathetic but it just hurts so much.

Any ideas people? The pain is not calming down etc but I have huge amounts of essays due in 10 days or so. I can't bear to spend an entire winter like this (it is cold and damp here already) but I don't know what to do.

love and thanks for listening

Frogga xxxxxxx