Thats the sound I hear in my head everyday lately as depression is trying to creep into my life. I am desparately trying to fight it off. By nature I am a goof ball. I love people and I enjoy just about everything I do. I was always a very active person. I travelled all over the world many times and have lived in several different countries since I was a young man.

If I thought something was interesting I went for it. I proudly and honorably served my country when I was a young man. At one time I became what was called a Orphan Escort. In otherwords when someone would adopt a child from another country I would go to that country a get the child for them. I loved it. Can you imagine going to Cambodia for a little girl and with a bribery of 6 cartons of cigarettes and a few forged documents I bought back 8 more with me including a severely malnourished infant. It broke my heart but at the same time I was overjoyed to know they all now had a chance to survive and they are doing spectacular.

I was a International Flight Attendant for 15 years. Met many dignataries and celebraties in my time. I have been a Radio Disc Jockey. I have worked in the Pentagon and worked for NASA. I am the youngest in a large very loving family. As many of you may remember, my Mom died on Valentines Day a year ago and I miss her so so much.

I cannot let depression get me I just can't allow it. I am on meds but I feel it is stronger. I am going to talk to my doc on Monday about changing the meds and ASAP. I am so afraid that if I fall into a depression it may take a very very long time for me to come out of it. I love you guys and to lose the desire to chat with you everyday would be devastating.

Chin Up!!!!!!

Mark