Ada, I'm sure you know that many of us can't say, "I know how you feel," because we truly don't. We can't even begin to IMAGINE it. I've tried, and know that I still cannot get the true feeling of how you are feeling at this moment. Although NO time is a good time to lose a soul mate, just before these two big holidays has to be a tremendously trying time. But, they say the first holidays without the loved one is the hardest, so at least you are going thru it now, and hopefully that means your healing can begin. Although, I can't imagine how hard this must be.

Hold onto the children, and love them enough for BOTH you and Bill. Take heart knowing that Bill IS truly with you during this time. Perhaps wear one of his favorite shirts to bed as a nightshirt, or if you are handy, sew it into a pillowcase so he's always "in bed" with you in some way. There are ways to keep him near and dear to you. If you feel up to it, gather some pictures and do a scrapbook of memories. There's no NEED to keep your mind OFF of this time. Its the good memories, the laughter in remembering those times, that you will cherish...so remember them.

You are in our hearts, and in our prayers...and we hope that somehow you can find peace.