THE DAY PEACE KNOCKED ON MY DOOR

A friend and I were walking our dog’s off-leash in a forest trail where we met a man jogging with his two dogs, also off-leash. A few moments after sharing pleasantries my dog and one of his erupted in a sudden kafuffle. Almost instantly the man ran at my dog kicking out at him as I grabbed for my dogs collar and pulled him away. Then the man became verbally abusive, making threats to use a rock on my dog and making unkind comments about me.

While he was getting more and more angry my friend was attempting to talk calmly to him about dog behavior, he was not interested in an intellectual discussion. As they exchanged sentences I had only one thought as I stood a few feet away, how had I caused this ‘non peace’ to happen? It was as though I were standing in a bubble, what was going on around me sort of disappeared and I was deeply inside myself, our outside my self, wondering how I had manifested this energy that was the antithesis of my desires for peace, love and healing.

I did not think the man was a jerk, did not even feel all that personally attacked or righteously indignant about his attempt to kick my dog. I was simply utterly focused on my part in creating this non-peace encounter. The first and most obvious realization was that my normal practice of leashing my dog would be renewed; this would not have occurred had he been leashed. But still, the size of the upset, the quality of the mans rage, was larger than just my not using a leash that day.

It was interesting as my friend and I continued our hike after parting ways with this fellow, she was all about how to educate him on dog behavior, wanting to sit down with him and have a discussion. We both were aware that his system was revved up from jogging and that played a role in his quick temper, and neither of us engaged in diminishing him, only offering up our own interpretation of the event.

I was still in my bubble of stillness, somewhere inside I knew this was a larger message, that there was a deeper meaning behind this seemingly uncalled for experience. I just could not criticize or condemn this man, in fact it didn’t even occur to me to do so; this was so obviously my creation and a message for me to decipher.

For the next couple of days I found myself suddenly swamped with a sense of confusion, as though there was something I was supposed to remember but could not. Unlike other instances in my life where an unpleasant encounter has haunted me with all the things I could have, should have, would have said, done or not done, the memory of this event was noticeably different. The place I was going to inside, the quality of my own stillness, was completely different from anything I’d ever experienced. It was a haunting, but more, I just couldn’t shake the sense that I had created and let loose non-peace and it was still ‘out there’ somewhere creating havoc.

Three days later at supper time there was a knock on my door. I had just begun to read a page from my book ‘A Gift From A Course in Miracles’ to meditate on and went to the door in a quiet, calm mood. I was aware of the bubble again as I looked out the door to see the angry man standing there. As I opened it a number of things occurred although I cant say that I was deliberately making them happen: I folded my hands in front of me in prayer/blessing form, I became conscious of my breathing and in my mind I sent a message of ‘peace, love, healing’ to my heart, weaving a blanket of these three and surrounding myself with love. I stepped over the threshold and saw tears in the mans eyes and instantly said, ‘It’s ok, I forgive you’.

What poured out of this mans heart was deeply touching, he’d been crying since the encounter and when he’d gotten home he’d told his wife he doubted his ability to be a father if his temper could erupt in such a fashion. The brother of 5 sisters he would never ever condone aggression toward women nor would he ever hurt any animal let alone a beloved dog. All this and more fell from his lips and I stood with folded hands and wet eyes surrounded it seemed by a shining light of something that surpassed mere emotion, though I felt intense love of an almost tangible sort, there was the purest deepest peace I’ve ever experienced.

He left and I came inside with a bit of a tilt, I was acutely aware of the miracle that had just happened. OMG! I had just manifested peace and the universe brought it to my door!! OMG! How often, after an unpleasant public encounter does someone find out where you live and come to your door to apologize? OMG!!

And then I reopened my book and read a verse I’ve read many times before, but of course, this time it offered an amazing gift of healing and insight I hadn’t previously gleaned from it.

When I read the paragraph on page 188 from ‘A New Earth’ I wrote beside it ‘my peace story’, it describes what I see now as the structure of the event, my story is just the content as it manifested in my life.

This is the second time Eckhart’s words have manifested a profound impact in my reality, the first came in 2005 from his book ‘The Power of Now’ and kept me from unconsciousness of a literal sort:

As I was getting off my bed from a reclining position I suddenly could not move my head/neck area. There was pain of unspeakable quality gripping it and I was powerless to move any further. Some part of my mind flashed an image of a gun, my fingers moved on the bed as though looking for it and I knew if I’d had one I’d shoot my foot just to shift the pain from my head and be able to move. I was stuck half way up and knew I could not hold that position for long but could also not possibly move as I was now being swamped with body heat, a cold clammy sweat and intense nausea with the urge to lose control of my internal organs. Ok, I had to get to my en suite, things were going to get messy.

Trying not to allow my neck to move even the smallest amount I slid my way gingerly off the bed. As I stood up the intensity of the squeezing, crushing pain expanded and I knew I was in serious trouble. In the bathroom standing up my eyes began to lose focus, vision narrowed and then I heard a whooshing sound in my ears, I knew I was in the process of passing out. Feeling so sick and terrified of the movement vomiting would require of my neck, afraid that I needed help and there was no way to get any, terrified that I would die, I made my way to the floor. My stomach was contracting, my throat wanted to open and release the heat that was consuming my body, the agony in my neck and head were beyond mere mortal endurance. And I was going to pass out, the whooshing in my ears was all I could now hear and my sight was completely fuzzy and darkening by the moment. And I was about to vomit, I would surely go mad if my neck moved and it surely would once I began to sick up.

In a moment of grace I began to breathe, and my focus became getting to the next breath, then the next and the next. There was no pain, there was only breath. If I could just stay completely focused on capturing each one I could stay conscious, I could stop the contents of my stomach from voiding one way or another, I could continue to be alive if I only concentrated on each and every breath. If I stayed in the moment, in the power of Now, I would survive. Nothing existed but getting to the end of each breath and flowing into the next.

The most obvious Gift of this experience was confirming what I’d believed for some time, that there is a way to be consumed by physical pain and get above it, out of the stream of it without taking pharmaceuticals. There was another 8 months of these episodes, all the muscles/fibres/ligaments/viens encasing my shoulders, neck and head were going into contractions, essentially crushing my body. Some times I did pass out, and the events were never easy, but knowing that I’d survived one allowed me to survive the next and so on. .

Blessings to you all, sincerely kath

Kath,
Thanks for taking the time for writing that incredible story.
I have been listening to some of Eckhart Tolle's audiobooks, but haven't given them the time they require and deserve.
He truly has and can teach of a place of peace and tranquility.
I'm happy for you!

Pete
ASB

Welcome.
Great awareness! Great inspirational story! Those are some great books! I have also read them. I also attended the Church of Religious Science and took The Course in Miracles. Always still a reference for life. Here's a book I'd like to share and actually it is online. It will help with your meditation and awareness. It is called "The Impersonal Life". Being Present and in the Presence is a key for a peaceful life. The EGO on the other hand leaves us in a place of conflict, not peace.
Peace my friend. Di

thank you all for these warm responses, medicine for my spirit! dharmaseed.org is a site some mite find interesting, hundreds of talks on finding/creating peace. blessings