One of the life-lessons I tried to teach my daughter as she was growing up is that is it OK to say "No" at times. She was trying so hard to please everyone, help everyone, do it all, that it led to a stressful existence. So many things going at once, that there was no time to just be "off duty."

She just turned 24, and I think she is better about that. But she is still a real go-getter. Unfortunately, she got that from me as well - Type A personality. I have learned, with the RSD and other problems, to limit my promises to help and only do what my body will tolerate.

Try to remember, Alison, that you need to be the first priority in your life.

Mike

There are so many people going through so much today that by the time we get a word edgewise with them telling us their story, we just think, what the heck, don't add on to their problems by telling them ours.

We have more sick people, finanicial woes, divorces, loss of lives and it is just overwhelming to everyone in our lives.

I spent over 8 years being so bad off that everyone could tell what shape I was in so I didn't have to tell them. They thought I would go before Bill so now that I am better, I am ok with not complaining to them too much.

We look normal most of the time so people think their is nothing wrong with us.

There are people with very minimal problems though that you do get tired of hearing about them. I have one in my life like that. She calls me about her work, her house they are buying, and her kids and it's only to complain and her life is very good. I don't get a word in edgewise with her.

I talked on the phone last night for 2 hours with a friend that her husband came home Monday after 13 years and said he wanted out. She has to sell their home and liquidate her store so I was ok with listening to her.

It kind of goes both ways I think. Maybe we can listen to one that is complaining and then one comes along that we can complain to.

Ada

When it gets too much for me, I too sometimes think --when I hear people talk about their problems-- but what the hell do you have to complain about, really? You're healthy, you at least *have* your life to lead, you're in full control of it and can do whatever you want whenever you want, WTH!? Then I try and calm down instead of getting all worked up about it and think... well, life goes on, apparently, with or without my RSD. So I try and look at it differently, and boy do I try, because it's hard. The problems that others are having might not compare, but people are going through these problems nevertheless and these problems are very real to them. They are just living their lives and you cannot be angry about that. I am not living my life, however, I got stuck with RSD and I have to face the fact that others can and will go about life as usual. It's their right.

I cannot always see it that way, though... I try to.

Then there are others, you know, the kind of people who think that things happening to them are the worst, always the worst. People who do not have the slightest bit, not even the slightest bit of consideration for you - at all. People who don't listen to your problems and who love to hear themselves talk about theirs. Those are people I ban out of my life. I don't even think twice about it.

But...
The others are worth me making the effort to put everything into perspective, even my own issues and worries and problems. And it can be so soothing being a witness to other people's lives, to know that life goes on around you, that there is life going on around you... even when you only are on the sideline, getting older, being disabled and in lots of pain.

Pete I aggree with you if RSD is not enough then we all have to face the other problems in our lives! I just found out two days ago that I might have breast cancer. The waiting is just driving me crazy! Also my Mom is in the last stage of Alzheimiers. My cousin Sue who is like a sister to me and I love her dearly, her second husband of just four years now just found out that he has pancreatic cancer. The Dr's cannot do surgery on him because the tumor is to big and it would kill him right there on the O.R. table. Yes Pete I am P'd off too right now! Some things in life are just not fair! Hang in there and I will to. Breezy55

Breezy,
I will keep you, and all others here in my prayers. (Including your family!).

It doesn't Rain, but it Pours!


pete