Shelley,

I hope you can rise above this someday soon. Do not allow this man's venom to poison you too. It's bad enough your DH has to carry around the memory of that day. I know it's hard to do, but I hope someday you'll both get past this. Try to consider the source and feel sorry for him. Your DH is a much better person than him. I hope he can find a new job soon.

I agree with MrsD. This guy does not deserve to have your husband's talent or presence in his business. I hope your DH will find a well run company that respects its employees to work for someday soon.

BTW, there are articles out there about dealing with difficult bosses. You might find some good ones to help your DH in the meantime.

Aw Shelley....what a jerk. I feel so bad for DH and you. I hope it all works out and his boss see's the light and realizes what he's done.

and prayers for you both....

(and a big box of mints!)

Thanks guys for all your prayers. I really do think my DH felt them and is in slightly better spirits.

He was in NY for a couple days at headquarters and he said everyone there was fantastic to him. Took him to lunch all wanted to meet with him while he was in.

HIs boss was also there but did not interact much with him and the one night where they had a big awards dinner his boss was just cold cold cold to him in front of everyone. It just confirms more that there is a conflict. But it did give him some confidence to kow how everyone at HQ really likes and appreciates him and thinks he does a good job.

It really made what Mrsd said even more clear...that this is specific to his boss and that if he wanted to fire him he would have but based on this bosses superiors everyone likes my DH and thinks he does a great job so I bet the boss can't fire him but sure is torturing him to get him to leave.

Then when my DH landed back home he read his emails and his company announced cost cutting that would involve personnel cuts most likely.

And we are betting if there is layoffs his boss will most defintely lay him off.

So we sat and talked and put together a plan of action together of things we can do, places he can send resumes to, how unemployment works, how to negotiate a severance, ways to cut costs and how long we could make it without his paycheck and still hang onto our house. (can somone create a forum for shoe and handbag shopping withdrawl? - see atleast I can laugh about it - your prayers have helped us )

Please keep him in your prayers. I even said one for his boss and asked God to help the man find compassion. Even if I did have the slingshot behind my back.

Tomorrow is resume day and we have identified atleast 3 places we can send it out and possibly one may be hiring in 2009 which is not that far away.

Thanks again

Maybe they are considering giving your DH the boss's job? Maybe the boss knows this too? It could be that he's scared for himself so that's partly why he acted like such a jerk?

You never know. That could be what's happening in the internal affairs of the company. God gives favor,to whom he gives favor.

Whatever happens,God is in control,and to everything there is a season. He closes some doors,and opens others. Only God knows,and I'm sure that he is displeased with his bosses behavior. BF

Oh Wiz I could only hope for something like that but his boss is a 20+year veteran of the company and DH has only been there 2 years but moved up quickly. BUt you never know.

You are rigth BrokenFriend, I am putting my faith in God first and foremost and I have faith in my DH and his character and ability.

If the worst does happen I just want him to know I love him dearly and we will survive. He is strong and proud he and we will rebound. We cannot put our head in the ground and hide and wallow in fear.

And I am trying to look at this as a chance to assess what is truly most important to us.

But I certainly could not even try to be this postive or even supportive without all of your prayers, support and friendship. I may stumble along the way and have a bad day and fear may take over but I am going to do my best.

are typically the first to go. Is this boss a middle manager?

I read a really good book recently based on the new data about psychopaths in the workplace. This was co-written by an
expert on identifying psychopaths (20+ yrs research by Dr. Hare of Canada).

The book is called Snakes in Suits, and is really good.
Our library had it, and that is where I found it.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/13150054/

You might find it helpful. It is a bit of a downer tho.
My last job was riddled with this problem. It is one reason I retired early!

Just hold tight for a short while...this may settle out in surprising ways. But I would still plan on making a change, and keep options open.

The problem my husband had, fixed itself. His problematic boss was moved laterally, to another division. He was just awful and wouldn't let my husband take his vacation all in one block (we need that for our far away summer place). He did turn him in for bonuses since my husband had a high output, but he harassed him all the same (as if he were envious or something).

Forget about the slingshot, Shelley.

I'm envisioning something more like the contraption the ladies in "9 to 5" had their boss wearing, and hooked to the garage door opener.



Nah, seriously, you have to keep praying for "those who despitefully use you" or else (as has been said) the strong emotions will poison you from the inside out. It's dang hard, but it really works.

You may look back a year from now recognize this time of tribulation as a blessing. I pray for you and your DH. I'll let YOU pray for the boss (kidding).

Hmmmm its such a massive company that I am not sure if I would call him middle level. I think maybe more senior level. He is a SVP.

I am totally going to get the book. Always helpful to learn how to manage people like these.

I hope that they transfer his boss to some other division of the business. I'm hoping for the best. I'm going to say another prayer "What the world needs now,is Love sweet Love" BF