My elder daughter and I are so alike that we always fall out .. she's the one who will irritate me and I will grumble at.

It must be extra hard for family and friends when they are with someone who is in real bad pain all the time .. and taking drugs that alter your personality and you can get withdrawal sympstoms from even after 2 hours after missing a dose ..

How do your family and friends cope with you when you're at you're snappiest .. or when you're crying for absolutely nothing? What can they do?

They don't know that this is "normal" for sufferers of chronic pain and I really think there should be support for them.

There may even be one on this forum somewhere, but as this is the only place I come to, perhaps if there is, someone can direct my post there.

Thank you xxx

This is the perfect place to post this very heartfelt question..,! Thank you!
I am typing this on an IPAD for the very first time, so forgive me if my typing seems a bit sketchy .
I am in the labor room watching my precious daughter SLEEP thru her contractions Because she just got an epidermal block,!! This is SO AMAZING!!

I am feeling so high on life right now because my grandson will be here within the next few hours!! I have so much Id like to say....but don't know where to start.....plus I am very awkward on this amazing little IPad thing.

I better push the post button on this to see if I did this right and I don't think I clicked on the remember me button, so I'm afraid this will time out on me before I get it to send.....

It worked!! Oh boy am I hooked on this.

One of the neatest things about NT is that there are so many different places To share a discussion such as this. There is a Support for Caregivers somewhere in the main menu....that would be a fine example of a place to talk about this....but to be honest I am glad you started this thread right here. When I get home from hospital I will love to get back on here and share some. Thoughts....
Meanwhile Im sure others will be happy to jump aboard your thread.

I hope everyone here is doing good.....low pain levels.....
Higgs all around from a VERY EXCITED NANA RAE!!!!! Loops I sAid HIGGS all around but I don't know how to backspace to correct. but Im sure you know I meant H U G G S

......I just love this place, cuz somehow you all put up with me.

I hope by the time you get to read this on our 'IPAD' that you will at last be a nana!! Do let us know ASAP!!!!! well when you have back down to earth that is


Saffy Ive had some very bad days indeed but I will say that my family have been great. My husband, bless him, is probably at the end of his tether with me, but he never gets annoyed with me at all. We actually at times have a joke when I complain about my back etc, he would say, 'oh I know how you feel, my ears are killing me too boom boom' But overall he is very good and caring. My daughters are excellent too, my eldest one in particular. She is always here with me looking after me, especially before I had the stim and she had the baby.
People are generally very good. I try not to complain too much if I can but overall they have been very good...........

I'm just on way way to drugged up
Sleep time. The only time I can sleep at the mo so I will wish you all a good night and thank you for your involvement inthis thread. I awIt the baby news xxxx

I have a daffy little I pod touch which fits in my purse perfectly but takes some time to type on.

HI Saffy, I think you brought up a very good point and I agree that it is hard on family and friends when you are sick and in pain all the time. My husband is pretty good for the most part and he is very supportive and even helps me out at home and with all my doctor appointments, he even had to learn about all my medical care including my cath treatments that I need. Sometimes we do get into it because he does not truly understand why my emotions are so crazy. At those times I lean on my mom and she always understands because she has many of the same conditions I have and has been in chronic pain too. She is really good at being supportive and encouraging and she makes me see things in a different perspective. However, I also have a therapist and she is really great and I think she has helped me learn how to deal with many of my health problems that won't ever go away. I tend to get very depressed and she is a big help too. My friends have stopped coming around and I never see anyone anymore so really the only interaction I get from them is on facebook. It is hard though for people not in pain to understand and it used to make me sad about all the friends I have lost but now I realize they were not that good of friends to begin with I consider myself very lucky though because I do have supportive people in my life and I used to not have any support at all and went through it all by myself Hope that answers your questions! Take care and have a good day! 'sTara.

I've been wanting to comment on this post, Saffy.....and now that I've collected myself off of cloud 9 from all the excitement of the new arrival....I can think more clearly.....

My daughter and I used to 'go at it' also......I think our female hormones clashing played a part in that though. Now she is 23 and a brand new mother. I've been very supportive during her pregnancy and a couple of times she came over and was having a bad 'pregnant day'.....She would cry, saying "Mom, I don't know what's wrong with me, I just keep CRYING...."
I would say "That's ok hun, let's sit down and we can cry TOGETHER".... and so we did......for no particular reason.

I truly believe that communication is 'KEY'.
Call a 'family meeting' together and sit down as a family and read to them a medical explanation of what you are dealing with.
Explain to them that some days are better than others and that the medications contribute to mood swings which are hard to control at times.

Sometimes I just want to be 'left alone'.
Sometimes I get 'snappy' as well. Let a 'cool down' period go by and after awhile, go to whomever you snapped at and apologize and explain to them how frustrating it is to deal with these gammets of emotions.
Describe the pain.
Educate them. Let them know that the medications take a toll on us and if we miss a dose or run out of the medication, our bodies suffer withdrawal....and explain to them what this feels like.

And if there come times or circumstances when things just seem to be getting 'out of control'......maybe go to a counselor together.

Families need to stick together. Especially now, as the holidays approach.
Pull together.....Pray together.....
....and it's 'ok' to cry together. Some of the most meaningful moments are shared with tears.

That's my 2 1/2 cents.....

And Saffy, you have a WONDERFUL family.......I've read your chronicled blog.
Thank you for sharing it with us....

Rae

There is actually a medical study that found that for chronic pain patients, the worst people to be around was family & close friends, the more time-the worse arguements.
For example, I got pain at 16 and had to scream at fam, who denied andminimized my pain..

During my withdrawal from Oxycodone .. and believe me, it was HELL .. I threw my eldest daughter out. It was the hardest decision I've ever had to make, and made me really ill with panic attacks and anxiety. All I had needed was peace in the house and she had once again taken something from our younger daughter's room and I just snapped. At 23 she should have known better.

In saying this .. it's the best thing I did as she is living with her boyfriend and they are really happy together ...