[Saffy]

Phew! Well, what a couple of weeks I have had.

The Doctor took me off Targinact (Oxycodone/Nalaxone) and onto just plain Oxycodone 40mg (12 hour release) twice a day .. with 5mg/5ml Oxynorn in liquid form for "top up" pain relief.

To cut a long story short, I missed a tablet one night and woke with severe withdrawal symptoms. I felt like I had flu, I was aching all over, very weak, sore eyes, twitching limbs (a bit of an understatement .. I had to sleep in another bed so as to not disturb my husband who had work to go to) - anxiety .. and wave after wave of severe panic attacks.

I phoned the Doctor who said .. Hmmm I think when you came to see me last week, crying all over the place, you were actually having bad side effects to the Oxycodone .. let's drop the dose.

I decided there and then .. NOT A CHANCE .. I am coming off that stuff if I have to remain bedridden till my trial.

So Wednesday 2nd March I stopped my Oxycodone 12 hour release .. and at midnight that night I have one 5ml spoonful of Oxynorm and that's been it.

I have been to hell and back. I lay in bed on the Saturday, looking at the Oxynorm and thinking, "just one spoonful and I would feel better" ... but thank god for the strength that came from somewhere, I didn't give in.

I didn't give in when the panic attacks made me feel like I was going to die. Or when my limbs jerked about so much that they caused spasms of pain.

I have gone from:

80mg Amytryptilline
5mg Diazepam 3 times a day
40mg Oxycodone twice daily
5mg.5ml Oxynorm for break through pain to ......

nothing.

Though I admit I have had to ask the Doctor for Co Codomol if I need to get out of the house.

I am coping with my pain by doing what I can, when I can .. and I realise I started on higher pain meds just to enable me to do my job. Now I am not at work, I can rest when I need to, and take things slowly.

This last two weeks has been the most emotionally, physically and mentally distressing in my whole life - and this, from, a legally prescribed drug.

I'm still waiting to hear about my stimulator trial .. and I am really hoping that this will help with my pain, but if it doesn't then I have got to admit to having to severely readjust my life to fit around my pain - not taking pain medication just so I can try and live a more normal life.

So, that's where I'm at.

I take delivery of my little car next week and I must admit to being rather nervous about driving it, but it's an automatic, so I wont need to use my left leg at all (which is where I get the sciatic pain) .. I'm hoping I can manage, as this will enhance my life totally.

I hope you are all ok .. and coming through.

I hope you're all still smiling, even though we know that life can be a bit of a downer at times .. and I wish everyone well.

Blessings x x x

[janj77]

I am new to the forum & only have posted a couple of times, but have read almost the whole forum.

I am getting my trial on March 23 & you are one of the main reasons i decieded to go ahead with it. I was on the fence but your story & many others have helped give so much. I knew nothing about the scs until i started reading on here. I am glad to see you are better. I would have taken that spoonful to feel better. You are a strong person.

Thank you for your posts!!

Jan

[Mark56]

Withdrawal has its issues that is for sure and for certain. Prayin for you that this experience of yours is soon assisted to more normalcy through the Trial. One thing is true, if it is going to work, you will know right away.... anyway I did.

Prayin,
Markz

[Rrae]

Oh indeed I agree with everyone here!
Your strength and determination have been so VERY inspiring indeed!

You've made my day and I just had to send you a (((HUG)))

How VERY exciting about the car!! You've waited a long time for this day to come! Congrats to you!

Rae

[Saffy]

Hello everyone ... well, another day. At midnight tomorrow it will be 2 weeks since I've touched Oxycodone in ANY form. (That first week seemed endless!)

Weeeeeee !

Am coping brilliantly .. thanks to someone "up there" who gave me the strength to resist and the courage to go on ...

Doctor has given me Co Codomol 8/500 effervescent tablets, to take if I need them but am forcing myself to try other things to ease the pain first. Not managing to walk far, but I AM getting out and taking little walks into the woods behind our home.

It's nice to be back .. I didn't want to come on mid withdrawal and depress anyone .. but if anyone needs support and help to come off of opiates, then please feel free to pm me and I'll be with you all the way. I couldn't have done it without my family and friends.

Rrae ... I am SOOOO excited about this car. It's going to bring a totally new life to me .. I'm smiling away as I type!

XX

[Mark56]

How many of us will fit in there with you?
Of course, if you have a left pocket as big and magical as Rae's you could take us all for a spin. Post pictures!
Mark56

[Saffy]

Well, I'll be picking Tootle up on Monday .. I will certainly post pics. I am now really ready for a car to get out. Not having strong pain meds, my movement is even more limited than before and I can't walk far at all. It will be SO nice to be able to just get in the car and drive somewhere else other than here !!

Yay and Wooo and all that !

Still waiting to hear about the trial ..

[Mark56]

Maybe you can get a cane that matches your new car, then when you stop somewhere interesting you can ambulate a bit more. I use my canes for balance since I am numb below the knees.

So does Tootle have a surname, like..... maybe..... Ooooo?

Hoping all the best for you and your new wheels and less pain as you decrease the opiates.
Prayers for you,
Mark56Z

[Saffy]

Hi mark (hug) .. You are such a lovely, positive person .. i always love your replies. Thank you for the prayers .. they really help.

At the moment I have two crutches, which help take the weight off my back as they have elbow support .. perhaps after the Stim I will migrate to canes OR no canes .. who knows I will wait and see.

I'm on NO opiates now I am proud to say. Though it's been hard - the fact that I can rest and not worry about the days when I can't do anything, is a blessing. Before I was taking morphine just to get to work and do my job.

It's a beautiful spring day here in the UK .. and we have some lovely woods behind us, and I've been managing to get into them for little walks .. and just to sit and listen to the birdsong. Beautiful!

[Mark56]

I am thrilled for you regarding your ready access to the woods, and YES, isn't birdsong wondrous when, sitting quietly, the forest comes to life around you? It is certainly one thing I miss about not being able to hike our mountains as I used to- you know, take backpack, fill to the brim with the essentials, and off for an adventure deep in the forest. It would truly be amazing once I stopped walking and rested that the forest would SPRING to life. More so than birdsong. I have had the distinct pleasure of the squirrel chatter, the clacking of quakie trees, and then the rabbits, fox, and deer walk within arms length as still I sit. Yes indeed Saffy, you describe an enviable walk. AHHhhh

What a thrill that you are off of the opiates. Congratulations!! Hard work accomplished for your betterment. Now I use the Stim and my seating pad for pain intervention and that is it. I will admit that yesterday sitting in the Settlement Conference of my Workmens Compensation matter it was surprising to hear words spoken of me from doc's assessment that I had been opiate dependent. How blessed to know they are gone from my life now!

A vision is forming in my mind's eye of you walking carefree and CANE or CRUTCH free in your forest soon. Should we start a pool for the date and see who comes closest to guessing the correct calendar event? Imagine, if only we could set such a challenge and sell squares then donate all proceeds to a charity to assist those who have difficulty on the forum paying for their meds. Now that is a thought...... nah, the authorities would probably shut it down as illegal gambling; but the thought is inspiring.

Yep,
Enjoy Tootle and the walks, all sounds great!
Prayers too,
Mark56 Big ZZ