it is in this safe place that one can
let it be known
Jesus i Love you and what you
represent
thank you for giving yourself
selfless and crucified for us
as many do and don't see it
those at war
those who give off ones back
so another isn't without
those handing out blankets
so they can wrap their bodies
and find a hole to sleep in
those who are loosing their
homes because of utter greed selfishness
war in the name of religion
good day all
have a blessed day
i wish you a happy day
smile your beautiful
and then in the name of religion
all return maimed or have met their maker
who am i to complain an yet the pain is real
PTSD taken way lightly if you ask me
the pain and suffering endured
leaves me ill in my stomach
what war am i fighting
the deceiver as you beautifully
put it
as the tears stream down my
face i will fight the fight
for as long as there is human kindness
i will fight the deceiver
with a place to come as such
has helped me cope with a better
understanding
the love of human kindness
right here a safe place
Easter Sunday
Dear God you have blessed
me with a family that was together
as one unit all connected by
you it was heaven
my grand daughter my children
and husband Louie Oliver our silky terrier
baby and dog got along just fine
it was majestic in my world
and thank for that
and thank you for this
safe place
may all have a blessed happy day
i way over did it with my little Eva
i need days to recoup
pain i will laugh in its face

and in any way i can be there for you
you know i am
thank you for reaching out
ginnie i am still waiting for them to
finish with one thing so i can
resume addressing my full body pain
my hands and finger tips hands arms
i wake up everyday and not a day goes
by and i say
"what did he do too me"
it is what it is right
until i find me another doctor
NEUROSURGEON YUCK
LOTS OF HOPE YOUR WAY
WITH LOTS OF LOVE

Joining in with Eva....praying all this sheds a new light on your future.

(Ger):

Eva....God permits things to happen. Free will is what he gave us.
Even those doctors, who may have caused harm; when their oath is
"to cause no harm " are allowed that free will.

Unfortunately, as Mark put it so well; the "deceiver" takes advantage
and wants us to feel hopelessness and despair. Even happier, we make
him, when we think this might be from God. It is Not !!

I pray every night to God for strength to cope and accept what He permits to happen to me; and that I may not become despondent with feelings of hopelessness and despair. All here on NT are included in my nightly prayer as well.

(Ger)

dear ger

the message is how you word it
i will not give in or up
i do not have a punishing God
for i know he teaches it is in despair
having the free will something i
am struggling with for it is humbling
and accepting Gods will
for his will be done
always a lesson in all
that does not mean he
who maimed me
his oath and ethics i am after
by accepting this happened
i just wonder if he has
a head that i may cross
it ever so often
not
his last visit i had been given
yet another script x-ray/cat scan
at some point i had said "doc having
an awful lot won't there be any
thing to be concerned about"
he began spacing them longer
but again gerry
where is that oath
in truth i went to him
i was lied to
and them add a little
insult to injury
not own up
try and convince me
it is in my head
no
i haven't let go
and i know God is driving
even though i'm at the wheel
my life's journey is knowing
and being is of his doing
thank you God
may i say thank you for caring
and being what is called a cyber
friend

Hi Gerry, and Eva, Mark and my buddies, Thank you for your prayers. While the noise of the MRI was going ON. I was praying and listening to a good CD all at the same time. I felt all of you. Now on Thursday I find out what the real trouble is with my ankles, I hope there is a correction for it! Thank you for your prayers. Hope is medicine. ginnie

dear friends

blessings for the day

my mind
my body
my spirit
are not one
life has slowed
it starts with the mind
then my prayers
my body ready
3 years ago possible
thank you
blessed i am alive
with a body that
wants to follow
i don't know
if i knew i would
i push my body
to its limit
now if that is a good
or bad thing it doesn't matter
i need to do what needs tending
and i fear slowly i won't have
strength or power to do anymore
at times like right now
today not ready yet meds
haven't kicked in i type with
a pencil and use the erasers
end
Lord Jesus you know my heart
life has manifested itself
i am who i am because
of my experiences
grateful i am
as you rule
my earthly lessons
i have but one thing
if at all of what life has
to offer it doesn't cost
anything HAPPINESS
and no one is responsible
for it but me myself and i
it is HAPPINESS
blessed is not a wish
blessed is something i am
aware of
the meds i take
cover just enough
so i can function
i have so much fear
of the idea of anymore
surgeries
and i yet have to finish
the removal of my breasts
the so called spacers need
to come out and put in the
permanent balloons
there are no nerves so
no sensation i opted
not to reconstruct nipples
no need i fed my babies
off of me that is fine
of course i mourn mine
just want it over with
my cane i something
i now need with me
all times my gait has never
been the same after second
surgery
and that water sensation in
my right ear never left as i was
told it would go away
thank you God i am alive
i I me over did it
i will do it again
Dear God
another doctor is on
the back burner
for the pain pump
i do not want to
go under
no more doctors
you are in charge
and i'll keep
praying
i am who i am
just have to
accept it
living in fear
is not a healthy
way of living
yet that is all
i do
i know
not good
it is truth
my blessings were
complaint after complaint
is one reason i refrain
from being negative
this is a place that puts
God before all else
this I believe
let me stop here
thank you for letting me
share

Eva.....I too, as many of us here, have been blamed for what doctors have done to us. I pray that I may overcome the anger and resentment for what has been caused and denied. I pray that I may overcome this fear and anxiety from this pain and suffering. In spite of all the narcotics, it is just enough to allow me to get thru the day. I have cancelled twice tests I am suppose to take; knowing more surgery lays ahead.

Yet you too face this daily. You have made the choice, with the help of God, to take all that is happening to you and be an inspiration to all of us. Thru your love of God, you turn this into something good.

(Ger)

Hello dear Eva, don't ever think you complain. You are one of the bravest people I have met here. You are such an inspiration to me. You also help me in my own faith. this is the right spot to come to when you are down or depressed. This is the place we gather to give support. I was hoping you had a doctor that would evaluate you back better. I know the previous surgery didn't go well at all for you. Would you share with me exactly what they did in that surgery that made it worse? I hope you don't have to have a pump put in, but if that would give you quality of life with less pain, maybe it would be worth it to at lease investigate. I so hope there is a help for you. I also want your reconstruction to go OK. It is OK to grief the loss Eva. any time a person looses a body part, it is very normal to feel that way. I lost my hair at a young age, and there are still days I grieve for my hair. Sometimes I still cry. I do allow myself to grieve, then I try to move on. Thats all any of us can do. Allow the tears Eva, it really is OK. Know that I think about you on a daily basis, and that you are in my prayers. I hope this night you are surrounded with heavely angels while you sleep. ginnie

The Lord God be with you,
make His face to shine upon you,
lift His countenance upon you,
and deliver unto you wondrous peace.

Hugs for you and Olie, and little Eva, well, and your whole family.
YOU inspire with your word,
your prayers,
your love of God, of others who need lifting up,

May all manner of things be well with you,
Mark56