dear God

is it my lesson
have i not given you myself
you come before all
i am being pushed in a horrible
way
my blessings are
you had me wake for another day
i have to be honest
i did not want to wake
the truth be told
i would not want it any other way
Gerry my dear friend
thank you for reminding me
the deceiver at it's best
when my father took his life
how much pain must he have been in
although a cowardly way leaving us behind
he too must have suffered
and his evil ways with me and sister
he had to have known i was ready to
confront him about it
i had left home at that point
on my own since seventeen
married my ex as an escape
what did i know about love
that came when my children were
given to me
lonely i am now
this body broken
this body once strong
and could do so so much
blessings my children
and life went on and they
grew up as Corissa was still a baby
my children were accepting of her
arrival she didn't want to come out
went 42 weeks before induced
she was the only one that stayed in me
that she was just so comfortable just
staying
lonely i am now
for there was no such luck
i would find someone i could trust
and love
trust and love was one thing
someone that would not harm
them in the manner i was by
him
couldn't take the chance
blessings
my children and now
grandchild
my will to live
even with my blessings in
family
i think of no more pain of any kind
to know that they still need me as they
reached the years 31 29 28 and 13 with
grandchild
focus on blessings
has been a place of finding
i am not alone
blessings
to know others are suffering
what was he going through
just before he pulled the trigger
he was parked around the corner
a view to the kitchen
what kind of pain caused him to
take his life
as he to was a addict and drank
to pass out there were always
parties at my parents home
work defined him as he was a
machinist along with his two brothers
he was an amputee his left leg
just below the knee as a young
extremely handsome man
i remember it being a problem
with the woman i call my mother
she too to date is beautiful
just had no business having children
oh the f.....g dynamics of this family all
around my heroin addicted sister 50 trying so hard
too clean up her act my nephew a straight A
ST. PETERS PREP. ALL BOYS statistics
say he too must watch himself
my younger sister 43 a cocaine addict
i a recovering alcoholic since entering A.A.
in 1990 for the rest of my life and now
to be a slave to these meds took that all
away and even though my A.A.family knows me
i cannot allow my self a moment of accepting
it's okay Eva you need them so therefore
since i have been put on med of such concern
i always introduce myself as a new comer
blessed to be a family of A.A.
and a family here
tomorrow is Sunday
i make my Sunday meetings
as it is my home group i'll be there
with daughter who has completed
a rehab facility a year
only to have taken them in with no
apartment
her choice of drug Angle dust
once a addict always an addict
she calls it the Devils dirt
now meds missing again
she confessed the first time
and the situation now is
uncomfortable
my eldest child epileptic must take
i cannot begin to tell you how many meds
she has gone through and what she is taking
now and that is after a lobotomy of the
lobe removed controls eyesight is now blind
this was the trade off and hope of decreasing
the meds her surgery failed as she still suffers seizures
then has a VNS THIS DEVICE REBOOTS THE
BRAIN WHEN SHE FEELS A SEIZURE COMING ON
WAVES A SPECIAL MAGNET SHE MUST WEAR AT
ALL TIMES
my son now says he is not doing drugs
as he is on lithium he too dabbled big time
with heroin pills drinking
AND THAT IS THAT
THE DEMON EXISTS IN ALL OF US
YA THINK GENES HAVE A BIG SAY IN IT
it's taken so lightly
blessings
i held it somewhat together
demons demons demons
as we are responsible it
could be i did my best
what has come over me is
i am tired of the fight
trying to do what i can
and pray
DEAR GOD HEAR OUR PRAYERS

i still need to rear Corissa
her dad falls short many times
shame on him
and i make sure he knows it

i'm getting tired of rambling
it all means something to me

and i will continue to pray
the deceiver will not prevail

focus on blessings
as my friend told me
you must forgive
honestly and let it
go
let it go
thank my friend
thank you
sweet Mother Mary
as you get ready
for his coming
Amen

I WISH A MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL
AND A BLESSING OF A HAPPY NEW YEAR

SOMEONE WHO CARES

Dear God

thank you for another day

as it is the Eve
and as Mary prepares
the coming of the Lord
and Joseph awaits too

it is Mary who defines Motherhood
to raise a child with affection as a verb
the Love of child is a LOVE that supersedes
all kinds of Love something has captured you
for life the moment life comes from our womb
where it all begins

a MIRACLE is what it is

THE MIRACLE OF LIFE

AND HE IS BORN

our Savior who gave us the
Our Father
free will
his life
in the end
so for our sins
we have life
what to do
love one another
be kind to one another
do not assume as you
the first three letters
most certainly do apply
to those who do that
look real hard in the mirror
don't judge
FORGIVE
truly

a mother i am

blessed i am

AMEN!

TO ALL AROUND THE WORLD

BLESSINGS

someone who cares

And so you have passed your blessings on for us to see!
Thank you dear Eva,
Me

To realize dear Eva, you are no longer living in an efficiency, but in an apartment which is HOME for you and family!! We gotta make a trip there to have a Hungarian dinner sometime when you feel up to having a couple of vagabonds drift by.
Merry Christmas!
Mark56

The waiting is o'er
stars parted for more
as Mary immaculate came
delivered Jesus' name
showing all her devotion
to what seemed angelic notion
then matured into divine
a Savior for all time
Who came that we may
know the Lord and to pray
humbled brought forth for we
who would drop to bended knee
sharing all in His gift
that our spirits be given lift
yes, the Eve has arrived
Jesus come for sacrifice.


Eva, we live and love and hurt and agonize
over SO VERY MUCH. There are even hurts borne
in hearts not opened to gaze
except God's love which is given to us by grace.
A mere seven years ago, a young college girl was brutally murdered
one of the many cousins on my Mom's side of the family.
She was so very similar in countenance and appearance
even unto our dear daughter who is just now the age
which was the age at which my cousin's life was cut short.
It was not warfare,
It was not cultural revolution,
It was not theft of property,
It was nothing more than the deceiver most vile rupturing the heart of a man
who likely never heard of the saving grace at which we marvel tonight.
Among things I have pondered, I assuredly pondered a means to
visit upon the transgressor a much more personal means of vengeance
to wrest from his mean spirit, his dark smitten soul,
some tiny fragment of fear
just before he might breathe his last. Vengeance.
I felt hate, anger, rage, desire and a lust for vengeance......
likely thinking such a being is due nothing more.
Among the things I have had to let go....
because it is God's province,
not mine,
was this,
and the rage I felt toward an illegal alien
whose presence on I-70 one morning
began the cascade of events which ruined the body of the man
immediately behind me,
and also me...... humpty dumpty am I.
I had to give it up,
because in the blessed PEACE and LOVE which is Christ
I could not love
if I bore hate.
Am I sure this will always be my case?
Will I always yield such matters of the heart to Christ?
I shall surely try,
so I may freely come upon invitation to your place,
and savor moments spent
on that porch of yours gazing at the skyline at night
taking in the twinkling of lights.

May the Peace of the Lord
always be with you,
Agape,
Mark56

invitation is not needed
please anytime as i am still on
leave what a visit would that be
thanks for sharing

blessed to know you

Oh Eva,
knowing one another is definitely one of those
Blessings which runs in all directions.... omnidirectional!

Merry Christmas!
Mark56

Dear God

Thank you for another day


MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE AND ALL SING HAPPY BIRTHDAY


someone who cares

Been there.... done that..... one who celebrates!

Well what a beautiful day we had here in our new home on Christmas Day

All my family and two grandchildren are here. It was just lovely and I didn't think three weeks ago that the place would be in any way ready for this great celebration. But it came together and we had a wonderful day/night

I look forward to many many more happy years here with my beautiful family at Christmas time and every day too and I Thank God for making it happen.

Wishing you all peace and happiness.

Jackie