[Spiney95]

Another neighbor is in dreadful shape. George became a bit on the exhotic, cantancerous side about ten years ago. His wife divorced him and dumped him off in this town. The family lives in Indiana. The man has been cognitively fit, just a bit of a pain. His cardiac health has been declining over the last five years. Saturday, he had to have two emergency stints revised. Yesterday, he showed up back here in his hospital gown and slacks underneath the gown. He wanted to check his mail and apartment and walked over from the hospital.

I had just returned from seeing Pain Man and was in the lobby when he came in. Such a surprise. George was disoriented and I grabbed one of my male neighbors who is still in great health, still drives and had hime drive a very arguementative George back. I went with them and totally lost it when I got to the unit, only to find out that they had not missed him yet. I am afraid I truely "lost it" at that point.

I got a phone call today requesting that I be home between 11 am and 1 pm on Saturday because I am having a visit from Santa. One of the local churches got my name as a neglected senior and has adopted me again. I feel like an ungrateful wretch but I don't want someone dressed like Santa coming down my hall yelling ho ho ho and bringing me a meal that I can't eat and and a hygiene kit. I guess it is the pain levels causing me to be so ungreatful and down right mean at the moment. I know the churches mean well but I found out, years ago when I managed a large inner city ministry, that most seniors, shut ins, etc. appreicated far more a visitation from someone from the church outreach program and often felt partronized and treated like a child by a visit from Santa. Boy, I never expected to be on the receiving end. The church makes no attempt to iquire as to whether the recipient has dietary restrictions and I will not be able to eat the majority of the food. They just don't know any better. We distributed about 1,000 loaded Christmas baskets each year but delivered about 350 hot Thanksgiving meals. I had all of the referring agencies find out if they had dietary restrictions and more than half did...........serious dietary restrictions and cooked accordingly. I need prayer for my attitude as these folks mean well. Thanks.

Spine

[Mark56]

George so needs true care, on the lines of watch care. I remember when my father in law was living, it was so hard when he would just "walk away" from his care center because dementia had disoriented him. Really pulls on the heart strings it does.... then he would fall and get hurt during his meanderings. Made it doubly hard. So very thankful George had angels in the form of you and other neighbor watching over him.

Prayin as you requested regarding attitude..... so maybe, just maybe, you could do the ministry and the recipients mutual good by calling back and letting them know dietary restrictions make their well intentioned gift unusable...... Then you could suggest something different like maybe just a visit [although weird from a stranger], a book, some music, or a little something both less contrite and more to the point of serving the "neglected one" than the quick, easy, make the giver feel good without regard for its usefulness meal which can be churned out as salve for the spirit of the giver.

True, well intentioned "gifts" like that in large programs counting numbers of "feel good" points rather than REAL EFFECTIVE outreach to those in need makes little sense.

Prayin both for attitude adjustment on your end AND on the side of outreach programs which are misguided,
Been there, seen that,
mark56:hug :

[eva5667faliure]

Originally Posted by Spiney95

Another neighbor is in dreadful shape. George became a bit on the exhotic, cantancerous side about ten years ago. His wife divorced him and dumped him off in this town. The family lives in Indiana. The man has been cognitively fit, just a bit of a pain. His cardiac health has been declining over the last five years. Saturday, he had to have two emergency stints revised. Yesterday, he showed up back here in his hospital gown and slacks underneath the gown. He wanted to check his mail and apartment and walked over from the hospital.

I had just returned from seeing Pain Man and was in the lobby when he came in. Such a surprise. George was disoriented and I grabbed one of my male neighbors who is still in great health, still drives and had hime drive a very arguementative George back. I went with them and totally lost it when I got to the unit, only to find out that they had not missed him yet. I am afraid I truely "lost it" at that point.

I got a phone call today requesting that I be home between 11 am and 1 pm on Saturday because I am having a visit from Santa. One of the local churches got my name as a neglected senior and has adopted me again. I feel like an ungrateful wretch but I don't want someone dressed like Santa coming down my hall yelling ho ho ho and bringing me a meal that I can't eat and and a hygiene kit. I guess it is the pain levels causing me to be so ungreatful and down right mean at the moment. I know the churches mean well but I found out, years ago when I managed a large inner city ministry, that most seniors, shut ins, etc. appreicated far more a visitation from someone from the church outreach program and often felt partronized and treated like a child by a visit from Santa. Boy, I never expected to be on the receiving end. The church makes no attempt to iquire as to whether the recipient has dietary restrictions and I will not be able to eat the majority of the food. They just don't know any better. We distributed about 1,000 loaded Christmas baskets each year but delivered about 350 hot Thanksgiving meals. I had all of the referring agencies find out if they had dietary restrictions and more than half did...........serious dietary restrictions and cooked accordingly. I need prayer for my attitude as these folks mean well. Thanks.

Spine

i'm upset for you
still had no clue that he walked out
outrageous there is no excuse in this case
NONE

someone who cares

[Spiney95]

Originally Posted by eva5667faliure

i'm upset for you
still had no clue that he walked out
outrageous there is no excuse in this case
NONE

someone who cares

We are getting no info. concerning George's condition due to HIPPA laws. The family isn't around so we are just wringing our hands. There has been no indication of any cogitivedysfunction until now. This could end up putting him in a nursing home upon discharge. That intimidates most of the neighbors as most of us consider that upcoming possibility for one reason or another.

[Rrae]

Spine.....
I don't think you are being ungrateful. I think you are frustrated as hell.
There's alot to be frustrated about, I mean LOOK at all that you've been thru! Allow yourself to vent and take your frustrations out on us anytime! I probably would perceive the Santa thing the same way you are, despite their well-meaning. It's a bit over-the-top from the sounds of it.

You've got my prayers,
Always.

Rae

[Mark56]

For George AND for you and neighbors. Neighbors often react as friends in true family ways of caring and wanting to know. Hard to wait.
Praying even now,
Mark56

[eva5667faliure]

Originally Posted by Mark56

For George AND for you and neighbors. Neighbors often react as friends in true family ways of caring and wanting to know. Hard to wait.
Praying even now,
Mark56

and another on praying


someone who cares

[Sandy Kay]

Sending prayers your way to help with your frustrations. Can't believe the incompetence at the hospital. Hoping George is on watch now and hasn't been put in restraints as they did with my mom when she was delusional. Hospital called me and said I needed to stay with my mom or get a private nurse as they didn't have the extra staff to care for her properly.
Maybe you could write the church and let them know your concerns. They probably aren't aware of the restrictions many face and need to be gently reminded so they can change the procedures for next year, too late this year. Maybe you can share with a neighbor and who knows, Santa might cheer another person in your building. Its all done with a good heart.

Wishing you peace and calm of this Christmas season.

Sandy

[Spiney95]

I found out from a discrete contact at the hospital that George was immediately transfered to the geriatric psych. unit after I raised the roof on the cardiac unit. He is not an official dementia patient but his behavior could cause self injury. The bottom line is he is in a "lock down" unit where he will be more safe. I understand that lots of testing is being done which can be done from there. I told my contact to warn the floor staff to watch George when visitors leave the unit. They can't just press a button and let them out as he will most likely try to leave with a family. He's a hoot and very creative. They had better escort leaving family to the door and make certain that my buddy isn't with them. The entire senario is like a made for tv movie. I truely appreciate the prayers for my ornary buddy. Thanks, y'all!!!!!!