[JoanB]

Here on this thread http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/thread163083.html, a few of us were talking about people who are not as understanding as we'd like. Dr. Smith brought up the idea of a buisiness-sized card with a list of things not to say to us that you could hand out to them. I thought that it would be fun to compile a list just for it's own sake, and if some of the entries made it onto such a card, great. If not, it would still be gratifying. I'm sure that not all will universally applicable.

I'll start with some of my favorites:

Maybe if you just exercised more, you'd feel better.

It's all mind over matter, you know.

Have you tried compression socks? (I have PN in my feet--just kill me now!)



I know you all have some gems too--show us what you got!

[Mark56]

ANYONE who knows me realizes my body suffers from constant and permanent nerve pain. The back was healed through all of the interventional stuff.

My least favorite is "So, how's your back?"

[Mark56]

When I was a teen with acne and people would ask "So, does that hurt?"

[Dr. Smith]

Originally Posted by Mark56

When I was a teen with acne and people would ask "So, does that hurt?"

Oh, yeah. Cystic acne from age 12. The treatments back then were horrible and useless. Now I see (from other investigations) they're trying megadosing with B5 (pantothenic acid). Results are mixed, but it's one that can't hurt to try.

Doc

[Mark56]

Will give it a try then. In the meantime, just feel blessed our kids got their Mom's genes in heavy doses.

[Saffy]

Well lets hope the operation makes things better.

[Dr. Smith]

Originally Posted by Mark56

Will give it a try then. In the meantime, just feel blessed our kids got their Mom's genes in heavy doses.

Is this in response to B5 or things not to say? (or both?)

Doc

[Dr. Smith]

Originally Posted by JoanB

I thought that it would be fun to compile a list just for it's own sake, and if some of the entries made it onto such a card, great.

Like these? The problem is getting the list down small enough to fit on a card!

Things NOT to Say to Someone with Chronic Pain*
(*alternate: Disabling Chronic Condition)

But you don’t look sick
But you look so good
Maybe if you just got out more
If you’d get out more
If you just got out of the house
You can learn to live with it
You’ll just have to tough it out
It’s all in your head <--- This one's the biggie, right?
You’re just having a bad day
This will pass
This too shall pass
Just get more exercise
If you’d get more exercise
You just need to exercise more (and lose some weight)
I used to have chronic fatigue too – I just got active & it went away
It can’t be that bad
You can’t be in that much pain
It must be neat not to have to work
It must be nice not having to go to work
You’re so lucky to stay in bed all day
I wish I had time to take a nap
If you got more sleep, you'd feel better
Stop being lazy and get a job
My friend has back problems and still manages to work
You just need to get a hobby to take your mind off the pain
Just be more positive
You just need a more positive attitude
It could be worse
At least it's not fatal
There are people worse off than you
Everybody gets tired
Your illness is caused by stress
It's probably just a touch of arthritis
You’re just getting older
We all get more aches and pains as we get older
You’re just depressed
You just want attention
No pain – no gain!
Just pray harder
I've heard Fibromyalgia is just a diagnosis they give when there's really nothing wrong
When I get migraines, a brisk walk outside always helps take it away
I heard/read about this new product....

Doc

[Fireball]

I thought all the suggestions mentioned were great...Much better to consider from here than hearing them in real life.....It make me think about that over 6 ft man that cussed me out one morning after I pulled my car into the handicapped space....He happened to think I didn't look disabled even though I never even got out of my car....I suppose he had some pain and just couldn't legally park there himself and was upset to see that I could....I suppose that because I worked very hard at smiling, I must have somehow ruined his day, even though it was morning....So I happily replied how I felt sorry for his wife, should he be fortunate enough to have one....Cause he was a true dumb-azz in the sense of the word.....I have resembled all of those quotes typed at one time or another since my injury back in Aug of 07....That I did bring on myself as I was working....Working harder than the two other employees that were sitting on their hineys that very busy Monday morning.....Brought my life as I knew it to a screeching hault....And I became the literal pain in the azz your mothers always warned you about....And I've heard all those other quotes...Even the folks that would tend to go through the motions of " there by the grace of God go I" attitude have thrown a few at me a time or two.....Breaks my heart every time and they act like "what did I do"...When it upsets you....Christmas has passed and I took pleasure in wrapping some gifts for someone that is "helping" me....And wrapping those ackward gifts kicked me royally...Head to toe....And he said, "well you brought it all on yourself"....OMG...Thought I'd just shrink enough to totally disappear forever....Wish I had....Cause it's not getting any better in the world of those that are "helping" me.....The pretending period or the vacation period I used to call it when my son's were younger....Is only less than a month long, for adults too.....Please can't I just shrink enough to disappear, please.....The fires not burnt out of the RSD / CRPS I have to deal with...but the fires burnt out of this fireball......

Originally Posted by JoanB

Here on this thread http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/thread163083.html, a few of us were talking about people who are not as understanding as we'd like. Dr. Smith brought up the idea of a buisiness-sized card with a list of things not to say to us that you could hand out to them. I thought that it would be fun to compile a list just for it's own sake, and if some of the entries made it onto such a card, great. If not, it would still be gratifying. I'm sure that not all will universally applicable.

I'll start with some of my favorites:

Maybe if you just exercised more, you'd feel better.

It's all mind over matter, you know.

Have you tried compression socks? (I have PN in my feet--just kill me now!)



I know you all have some gems too--show us what you got!

"just suck it up!"............