Originally Posted by Hana

"...scared... infection
or even better
they are just wrong
than again that be slim
but it does happen
im so scared
all my joints hurt in my sleep
it wakes me...
"Dearest eva...yes, we do know it! I'm sorry you have another MRI, and pray with you for it to be infection or something more easily treated. Waiting can be the hardest part; just not knowing and anticipating is so stressful. We are here with you; after all, your strength and courage carry us so much further every day. Thank you.

After my anticipating and appointments last week I fell flat on my ****, and am slow to regain steam. My right leg feels like a shark took a bite out of it and 3 toes are numb. Driving is making it so much worse. I go back again on friday to meet with the PM to discuss the surgical plan and arrangements, although I wont be setting the date just yet(hopefully this is last trip for prep).. It wont be long as this never ending pain is beyond my means. I do pray for 50% relief and if I got more that would be awesome.
I have been overwhelmed and have had to back off a bit to BREATHE and rest. ... At home things are being sorted out as quickly as possible (amazing speed for here) and I am not alone. In fact, when my partner stepped into the door last evening from therapy, the first words I heard were that there will no longer be resistance to getting help in the house... so, one step at a time! I felt a deep sadness and resignation, but no anger, and once we start a new path, I think we will both feel better. I have faith.. we can do it.. I must be patient;believe me a tall order.

Prayers for all pain to be gone, all fears assuaged.
Hana