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06-03-2014, 06:09 AM | #61 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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day at mommy's job
just before the chicken and fries she had a bowl of Yankee bean soup had a good time Corissa taking picture mommy waiting tables
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06-03-2014, 09:10 AM | #62 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Father
Brother Mother Mary thank you for another day she had a great time my nephew stayed home he is a year older almost to date by two weeks she is in love with an addict introduced her to a cheaper way to pain relief only she has crossed the line and is trying to clean up her body he does not live home with her and my nephew my brother-in-law is living there to allow my nephew to maintain a high cost for schooling him something i hope he will appreciate he maintains honor status for a all boy reputable school my sister is two years younger than myself had her left palm to wrist on left arm fused reason for pulverized bones in hand idiopathic WHAT degenerative bone disease she know has a plate in that hand and wrist she tells me all the time working in NYC if someone should try to assault her she could knock them out with her wrist alone and also had lower lumbar surgery microscopically rods and all she was cut in the front and entered in back with the rods she is a success story it was so good to see her play with my granddaughter i can't wait for her to become a grandma as much as i wish she could clean up from all of it her husband who moved in with enabling mother and he has a great job a union still taken seriously gone because he is ill with a second liver a alcoholic and heroin addict dad where are you when your family needs you most how ****ing bad was it i remember so many factors i remember as clear as crystals why did you abandon us you left us for the wolves a parent who was selfish and didn't have a clue at one point my sister turned to me at the pool sitting on the edge our feet in knee high admiring two women may they have been sisters or long time friend "look eva, that's going to be us" i wanted to say we are already there i am so glad she had a blast we are such a small family sometimes i wonder if it will die out here in the USA as all my family is in Hungary so happy to have given her a good day we made it into the water and continue our conversation and when playing with baby Eva precious AMEN! blessed a good day with with hopes to do it again thy will be done AMEN! wishing all a blessed day!
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"Thanks for this!" says: | Hannabananna (06-03-2014), PamelaJune (06-04-2014) |
06-05-2014, 05:55 AM | #63 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Father
Brother Mother Mary Thank you for another day Went to the pain doctor Was asked as he points and quickly looks at them and says So when will you be getting a scan of the balloons I told him my oncologist is seen every three months I don't get it When I have to see him every month To manage this monster pain that has engulfed this worn body My tears as this flows with all the other folks out there with this invisible monster that live and has a life of its own "It" has a heartbeat of its own I feel the electrical surges go through me like a knife My lumbar takes the cake It is not a happy place to be when the throb is not in sync with another area of the body To remember that I'm still here I have so much to give Yet in a freeze on days like today My hands throb To have my pain wake me from sleep Oh Father I read so many stories Bring us peace in our day I will carry my cross until I cannot any longer Allow me the strength of mind to be the best I can under these crappy situations that come this way I rebuke all evil I am your child dear Father As my children go through life let them come to you in despair May we all get a break from this PAIN I call a monster In Jesus name Amen!
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06-06-2014, 11:05 AM | #64 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Dear Father
Brother Mother Mary Thank you for another day My daughter is just driving me nuts Bad enough having to go through my changes I have to listen to her upset ways when the baby sees her aunt Corissa her exact words were "she interrupted quality time by the baby becoming rambunctious" And I said and so Did that give her reason to slam the doors Absolutely NOT NOT and yet this is how she is behaving now yesterday evening she had somewhere to go said she will be home 9:30 well 12:30 she strolls in Now I ask anyone What I already know told her find a place to stay she cannot behave like she does PMS ADDICTION POOR BEHAVIOR all not to be the reason you treat me her mother like turd I'm appalled she is so angry I have custody It really bothers her that my youngest child Eva's aunt disrupts her child when leaving my room As the room of Corissa was given to her and little Eva Father I beg you Hell her help herself This is becoming overwhelming unnecessary and unhealthy I'm sick of it It's a vicious cycle And she needs help help that she knows needs to be done She forgets this is all the way it is because of her HER HER HER NONE OTHER BUT HERSELF it's nuts Father Father calm her Let her go to work And not go out to get high I beg you In Jesus name I believe Help her Father In thanks and praise
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"Thanks for this!" says: | ger715 (06-09-2014) |
06-09-2014, 10:01 PM | #65 | ||
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Magnate
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Quote:
Prayers for you and your family continue. Hang in there. You are so needed. Gerry |
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06-10-2014, 08:08 AM | #66 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Dear Father
Brother Mother Mary Holding on Is all I can do I constant dialogue with you The Amighty I was in bed most of the day yesterday My head and neck not forgiving My upper back mostly right side And I push through Saturday I forgot to take afternoon Meds And that when this pain took over I had so much fun watching my granddaughter and Saraeve play Brought tears to my eyes as Saraeve will not be able to have children due to all the medicines So mommy rang the bell be back in a few To my friends thank you for the support Love Me
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"Thanks for this!" says: | ger715 (06-12-2014), Hannabananna (06-11-2014) |
06-10-2014, 03:26 PM | #67 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Quote:
she left for work and my family is settling down a bit oh how the male population think "it" be something i can control expect me to be the old me was something that would never come to life always hoping i had a chance to be the glue that holds all of us together this i try even faking it but i fail sometimes and breakdown they understand and help in return mom went to work we will pray all will be good for her we will do what we can Amen!
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06-14-2014, 07:37 PM | #68 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Father
Mother Mother Mary i have such a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach it takes over my whole being it is dark it doesn't feel good it has always been in my life it comes and takes over it is hurtful it is powerful it won't leave me it hurts it hurts so hard it takes the joy of life from me it brings on tears like no other it does not want me to have simple joys of life i go through the motions i fake it hoping it will catch on nothing this is no life for me this is not happiness this is real this is not something i wish for but it is there lurking through me there are far more down then ups in this family my negativity is something new to me i am not used to it it makes me feel i do not belong here it pushes and pushes it way through my depressions are born watching my family struggle all life had in store for me was and still is my own head i let things get to me not intentionally much of it comes to me asking for my help and i'm just so tired of what you may think tired of the work it takes to get through the day to want to live this evil that lurks and wants my soul NEVER NEVER NEVER will i give my soul to the devil this too shall pass i pray sooner than later tomorrow we go as a family to the pool my sister eldest daughter and her hubby little Eva Corissa weather is suppose to be awesome i pray for this to pass in Jesus i trust Amen!
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"Thanks for this!" says: | ger715 (06-16-2014) |
06-16-2014, 06:43 AM | #69 | |||
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Grand Magnate
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Father
Brother Mother Oh for this hopeless feeling pass There is a terrible hold My feelings a number of NEGITIVE factors My well being affecting my mind Ripping away at this soul I stay close to you Father Brother hold me tight Mother give me your strength There is reality still to settle in The thaught of not being a productive human out in the workforce and even though I have put in my time you get that one Father as you were there all my life Why must I suffer depression at this point in life why must it be so overwhelming and out of coping skills I talk with my shrink This week will be interesting he just listens and confirms "no an easy life Eva" No turd get this out of me I don't want it anywhere near it It consumes to much of my life Strips me of happiness I hate being restricted I hate having to take Meds I hate my depression because of it I hate that my family suffers I hate that evil has such a hold I hate the people who hurt me I hate the hospitals I have no trust in the human anymore I have given of myself in ways that gone above and beyond anything to help my family I hate the misconduct of anyone disrespectful towards anyone who was just there for you in everyway There a blessings among us at all times It is the evil that robs it from you To fight this ruthless dare I say cancer It is powerful and I must overcome this feeling Of hopelessness It isn't It is this rat that keeps stealing the day Let it shine in my heart Let me kick this thing in its *** Let me be that take charge everyday every moment Let me not loose it I know my plate is full I also know one situation at a time This to I know will ease up a bit Never discouraging my baby Taught them the stars are theirs I need to practice this myself I have never experienced what I did two days ago "It" is slowly lifting Hope not to be visited by it sometime soon Me
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"Thanks for this!" says: | ger715 (06-16-2014), Hannabananna (06-16-2014) |
06-16-2014, 11:22 AM | #70 | ||
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Magnate
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Eva,
I so understand your feelings. I have suffered from depression most of my childhood. After birth of children; especially the third; I learned years afterwards from a new doctor that I must have suffered very severe Post Partum Depression. Through the Grace of God, I slowly climbed out of that "dark hole". But once experienced; it is always there waiting to claim it's hold on you. It is a lifetime battle. Eventually I learned to avoid many of the signs that would try to claim me. I pray daily to the Holy Spirit to grant me the Grace, Strength, Courage and willingness to cope and accept what God permits to happen to me. And to Guard, Strengthen, Spare me from Despair, Despondency, Depression, Hopelessness, Fear and Anxiety; filling me with love enthusiasm for God, for my Faith and my life. The awful pain we are dealing with makes us an easy target for depression. Knowing God is walking this walk with me gets me thru each day. I pray for all of us who are dealing daily with this battle. This will pass and the bright times will reappear. Gerry |
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"Thanks for this!" says: | eva5667faliure (06-16-2014), Hannabananna (06-16-2014) |
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