Father
Brother
Mother Mary

thank you for another day

blessings in everything that happens
in our day
like it or not
how many times we have good intentions
for the day
something always happens to change
those intentions
nothing "i" can do about it
and to make sure i am only responsible
what and how i respond
what my "babygirl" is up to i
have many concerns
and it only seems to be important to me
and my eldest as she lived with us most of Corissa's
grammar school life
7th grade when i became ill
oh Father how everything is falling apart
why is Corissa behaving as she is
i don't get it
is everything to be accepted as all is just fine
and then not be responsible while home
telling her ENJOY YOUR SUMMER
when fall comes i expect her to squash her GED
Father it is not me
i cannot
the disease is so magnified and hot in the works
its becoming truly draining
really

Father

Bring her home
Father
Bring her home
I beg you bring her home
I beg you

And she is on her way home
Thank you Father
Me

Father
Brother
Mother Mary

Thank you for another day

Yesterday by far has been one of the harder ones

My child left her home
Help her Father
So much gone on in her little
time on earth
It pains me so much to see them hurt
I am it to everyone
The go to person
And then something like yesterday
Oh dear God the Almighty
Who brings us the promise of
lull quietly happy everyone doing awesome
no pain suffering
I so cannot protect them
just be there when need be
I wish my had the mental strength
to get this world and all that's in it
To not run away from the one who loves you
To always be certain that you can accomplish
anything her heart desires
It's the desires strength and hope one has
all of us have
most of us are afraid not guided
given a helping chance
To be the best they can be
As a little girl I had many monsters
And now I have little Eva what else other than
the love from mimma is real
She holds on to me with such might
Builds all kinds of cakes and castles with her
Legos a never ending gift
She just keeps making me stuff
This too I shared with Corissa
She is grown into a beautiful daughter
her father would tell her she was fat
I fat stopped that

Oh Father the pain sorrow of the worries
she didn't take off
Yes I'm talking about young girls you hear leaving home
Taking a hitch ride
These things do happen
Or that she did not go into NYC
Her not in school affected her deeply
I haven't had a situation as I have here
Never was school to have had any action
in the adult world a sixteen year old loosing
her way in school and I did all I could
They failed my daughter
Half the security in the school is now working
the town pool
I yet to have a talk to some who
already know me just as a member of the
town pool even when living in my forever
previous hometown of 46 years the Mayor
a friend of mine grew up together watched
his mother and father do the same job as my parents
Superintendent
Just a few blocks from us up the hill

Oh Father what was on her mind when
she made it down to the Hoboken piers
Took the light rail home
I just want to cry
The unecessary worries that we have
going on in our lives
Will anyone just stop and listen
LISTEN
THANK YOU FATHER BRINGING HER HOME SAFE
In Jesus Christ I trust
Amen

Oh Eva,
Please tell Corissa I hurt for her too. I know she has so much to offer. Pray she will not waste her "God given talent". I will PM you.


Gerry

Father
Brother
Mother Mary

Take care of Christine
Keep her alive for her baby
Watch over her Angles
My heart has been shattered for so long
I just want to come home
I can't stop with this non stop
Pain of every kind
What am I to do
I feel terrible telling my child to leave
I had to however badly it hurts
To love them is to cry
It hurts to cry I can't even do that without
it killing me
Please keep her safe and close to you
Brother hold her tight
Don't let evil prevail
In the name of Jesus
Amen!

Father
Brother
Mother Mary

Another day what have I learned

That my anger over so many injustices
A judge not to hear the evidence
rescheduling because my daughter was misinformed
Resulting in us me sitting on a wooden bench for four hours
as a result of misinformation
To fight a vehicle ticket issued to my daughter handed it
to her as I left to find parking

Now you wonder
What the heck is this one talking about

My faith

Do I have it

To be up at this time as a result of misinformation

We go to the parking director on leaving the court in my
Old home town of 46 years

So I say to the judge it was my car I was gone and after
the fact while my daughter on the street awaiting police
was issued a ticket THAT WAS OF ADDRESS TWO BLOCKS
where we were from

A direct indication of being malicious

My daughter going to get liquids to take her Meds

TWO meter men walk over to the car

One says no problem

The other ticketed my car just because

Car still running me in the driver seat
not to be there no more than 3 minutes

And it be okay for my boss the Mayor of my
home town double park with his driver getting
coffee every morning went taking Corissa to school
everyday

Why are people so mean and cruel

Four hour on a bench

Ticket handed to my daughter
I was not there when it happened
looking for parking
Judge would not hear my daughter
It is rescheduled for another day
ALL BECAUSE MY DAUGHTER MISINFORMED
THIS THE JUDGE DID NOT CARE TO HEAR
SO

went to parking authority director
WHO FIRST I WAS TOLD WAS NOT AVAILABLE I SAID I'LL
WAIT
SHE THEN TELLS ME THE DIRECTOR TOOK PERSONAL LEAVE
ABRUPTLY
CAN YOU IMAGINE
SO

IM UP
I CERTAINLY DID THE FOLLOWING
CALLED THE MAYOR
MY BOSS
A REAMEMED HIM
TOLD HIM WHY I COULD NOT SLEEP AS MY PAIN
SPEAKS NOW
YOU BET YA
LEFT THE ONLY MESSAGE
ABOUT HOW THIS WAS BEING HANDLED
AND MANULIPATED

AS MEETING WITH THE DIRECTOR ALMOST A MONTH AGO
IT WAS PUT IN WRITING THE REQUEST OF THE TAPE
SHOWING THE EVENT
AND FOR BOTH METERMAIDS TO BE IN COURT
NEITHER OF THE TWO HAPPENED

BECAUSE OF MISINFORMATION

I AM , !!!!!!!!??????!!!!!!!! FURIOUS

AND I ask YOU FATHER WHY

WHY ALL THE LIES
THE I DON'T CARE ATTITUDE
IT'S NOT MY PROBLEM

I WON'T LET THIS ONE GO
TO TICKET MY DAUGHTER AFTER
I MOVED MY CAR

I CANNOT SLEEP I HURT SO BADLY
HENCE
I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED
I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE IT

SURE KICK ME WHILE IM DOWN

THE JUDGE APPEARED AT 10:30
I WANTED TO SHOUT
AND WHAT IS YOUR EXCUSE FOR BEING LATE

I FELT BEATEN DOWN
I WAS
AND IT DOES NOT STOP
THE THROBBING IS NUTS
AND PLEASE JUST BEHEAD ME
AS FOR MY LOWER BACK
SOMEONE BLOW IT UP

I DON'T WANT TO GO ON ANYMORE
I AM SO SICK OF THIS WORLD AND WHAT I
AM EXPOSED TO
GODS PLANET OF EVIL
I AM BY FAR NEAR BEING A SAINT
BUT THE CONSTANT INJUSTICE
TEST ME FATHER
PUSH ME OVER THE EDGE
I HURT SO BADLY ALREADY
I DON'T CARE
I DON'T CARE
MY BODY IS DEAD ALREADY

WHAT MORE
NO MORE

Eva,

Wish I had words to soften the overload of emotions you are have been dealt.

Pray I will that God will give you the strength to cope with all you are going through.


Gerry

Father
Brother
Mother Mary

the process of managing my rage
when not on my meds
something no one needed to know
everything was suppose to be ready
it should have been thrown out
and i am to shut my brain down
while i walk sit lay
nothing
did i take any meds
no
i am afraid my body has
already built a a tolerance
and to walk around
and remember what my supervisor
now a second title president of the city
association
"lie" so i could receive comp case
fact we will never know if lifting industrial
wash bucket and mop wasn't
the cause of my neck
Father
you know how angry i was when my supervisor
suggested
where is the reward for doing the right thing
my body is worth nothing
i wouldn't want myself
so to be alone seems more and more
a reality
i do not do well when persons get paid
the money and just stand around walk back and forth
while waiting for a judge late
no apologies
what more to have to endure
my daughter not getting her turd together
become the next reality
i have too be what to my grandchild
you let the devil mess with over and over
and the fact i watched 98% interpreter was necessary
my thaught went to what would happen if i needed
one
brought me back to school
no bilingual help for me
oh heck no
then i think to myself why i walking in the
Mayors office there is public information about
something
next i hear my daughter say where is this in English
the fella says turn the sheet of paper a stack of them
i take the stack eyeballed it turned a half over in one
language and the other in English

really

i can't believe the mental stress i encountered
just because of language barrier on several
situations

WHY Father

the chances of an only space
going to see the director
and the meter not working
my daughter video taped me putting in a second
quarter
and it was only understood via the video

WHY Father

to be humiliated when finally before the judge
not knowing how to plead
i was guilty to a point
he just malicious

WHY Father

i am in a funk long enough
and have this added turd to take
care of

my whole being

BROKEN
me

Eva,

While you may be broken; you will fix what is broken in due time. Please hang in there.
Love & Prayers,
Gerry