Well, since this the first one for our new neighborhood, I think it should be about friends...can't have too many. Someone told me once that if you can count on one hand your true friends, you're one lucky human. lol


How many times do we stop to consider just how many friends we have, or foes for that matter? Sometimes I believe we can take friendships for granted, that people will always be there, we take it as fact, without giving a second thought. The question is not how many friends one has, but more, what kind of friend one is to another.

Does one expect a friend to drop everything just because we pick up the phone and call to chat or ask a request. Does one respect that the person one calls might be having a difficult time and can't grant the request? The person might not even say why they can't do what was asked, they might just say, I'm sorry, I can't right now. How many times does one get "bent" because we expect them to say, ok, be right over.

To have good friends, one has to be a good friend. One doesn't necessarily have to be the 'whipping boy' or the 'chaffeur' to be a good friend. Have you considered what it really takes to be a good friend? Have you considered what it takes to be a foe?

A friend should and will accept you as you are, through the good times and the worse. A friend should not be made to feel obligated or guilty when you don't get what you want from the relationship. A friend should be comfortable telling you that the red lipstick or the green tie does not look good on you, without a tantrum following. A friend should be able to not dread to see your name on caller ID. They should not wonder if they are going to be yelled at or incriminated for some inconsequential thing that happened. A friend will forgive all these things, but then why should they have to forgive what one takes for granted?


So what does it take to be a friend...simple, a human being that is considerate to those around them. A human being that understands that not everyone is the same and each is unique, special and deserving the same as you. A person that realizes that the relationsip will have its ups and downs but is worth holding on with both hands as tight as possible.

If you think friends come and go like yesterday's paper, you are right...not in the sense you think, however. Friends die, move away, get mad and never speak again. Friends are precious and the longer the friendship, the more special. I have a friend that has been my friend for almost 50 years. We have had a few downs, but mostly we have been there when the other needed us. We live less than ten miles from each other and see each other maybe every three months or so. That doesn't matter, what matters is, that if I needed her or she me...we are there for each other. I can truly say we have never taken our friendship for granted. Even when she didn't think it was MS (she has MS) and believed the doctor when he said it. She realized he was wrong when he told her, my case is complicated, we never discuss it...we have no need, we are friends. We forgive, and we move on.

So think of what a friend is and should be...ask yourself, are you the kind of friend you prefer or the foe of friendship. If I answer honestly...I think I could be a better friend to those I do know, take more time to be considerate. I think I could visit my elderly friends more, it only takes 15 minutes at least twice a month. I could be more considerate when calling friends, and not be insistant they call right back. After all, they might have some heavy duty issues they're dealing with at the moment. Having a friend, means being the kind of friend you already have...and then you will have quite a few.

Momma Sez...

When your porch is too small to hold all your friends...buy some lumbar, call a contractor and add more chairs.