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Good thread, KathyM!

Sorry about your son's problems. It's not right and it's not fair, but for him I imagine it will always be a fact of life. It's good he has you for a Mom to teach him patience and tolerance.

My Dad is nearly 95 and remarked just recently that he doesn't now, nor has he ever, thought he was any better than anyone else. He has a special affinity for Native Americans because he used to play baseball with them.

I have always felt comfortable around African Americans because of something that happened when I was just 8 years old. I got lost in a bad section of the city after a parade. I wandered around for a long time and a bad white man in front of a bar led me away into a field. I finally ran away and knocked on the door of a nearby house.

The man who answered the door was black. I was determined not to cry, but the tears began to fall as I told him I was lost. He took me into the kitchen where his wife and children were where they took good care of me until help arrived. I will always be grateful for their kindness.

I admire anyone who is trying their best to be a good American. I can't even bring myself to narc on my neighbors, even though I know they are undocumented immigrants. They work hard and don't cause trouble.

My little granddaughter (3 at the time) once chastised me, saying: "Grandma, let's play nice!" I couldn't agree more.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Twinkletoes (Post 240092)

My little granddaughter (3 at the time) once chastised me, saying: "Grandma, let's play nice!" I couldn't agree more.

Hey, Twink, maybe she should run for President!! :D

((((((((((Kathy & son)))))))))))))

I grew up in South Africa and saw firsthand what racism did to people, both the perpetrators and the victims! :mad::(:Sob:

Kudos to Mr Obama for speaking to the heart of the matter!

Quote:

Originally Posted by GIGI69 (Post 239736)

I tend to be conservative. But I have been to a couple of his events and admire the way he has conducted himself in the race and how he has (especially in the early primaries) been able to cross racial lines to garner support from both the white and African American communities

As for you son...I can't imagine how difficult it has been for him. However, try to remind him that he has a unique perspective. He has seen both sides and that makes him (and Obama) able to look at things with a balanced view.

It is no secret that I have been involved in local politics. I was fortunate enough to have support from the African American community. However, I encourage leaders from their community to become active in the community at large because no matter how much I want to understand issues that affect them, I haven't walked in their shoes. It is difficult to fully comprehend those issues when you haven't lived the experiences. That is something your son has. That gives him strength and power.

I haven't seen the speech. I'm hoping to see it this evening. Hug yourself and your son.

I am so sorry about the situation with your son and others who have been treated in such an ignorant way.

There will always be people who are insecure and ignorant who will call names, behave stupidly and are racists of one color or another.

Obama would not be able to do a thing about it and frankly he is a polarizing candidate who will make the divide even worse.

I am totally not thrilled about his pretty speaches with no substance to them. Like 'change'. Okay, how and what kind? No specifics here.

I have never been a racist; I could care less if Obama is black, white, pink or a mixture. I am listening to messages and the reality of what they say.

The church Obama belongs to is a very intolerant congregation and I could not believe he never heard any of the terrible things his pastor spoke of and ranted about.

Obama is a good speaker, but what does he say that is relevant?

Tootsie:confused:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tootsie (Post 240858)

Obama is a good speaker, but what does he say that is relevant?

Tootsie:confused:

Tootsie

For me, he speaks the truth instead of empty rhetoric and slogans taken from rose-colored history books and Hollywood war movies. His speeches tells me he's been listening to the people and their needs. His behavior here in Chicago before he started running for office showed me he cares for the people of his community - of all colors. I had never heard of the man until I saw Obama signs all over my neighborhood. I was surprised so many "racist" white people would vote for a black man, until I found out what he had done for all the steelworkers and their families here. I have no reason to believe he wouldn't carry the same passion for all of the people of this country.

He doesn't carry the same arrogance that former leaders and politicians carry. He has a deeper understanding of the cultural differences. He can be firm, but I can trust that he won't talk down to leaders of other countries as if they are children or belong to us. It only fans the flames when we display such arrogance and boast of our might. It's like a kid thumping his chest and proclaiming he's the "king of the hill" - it only invites an attack. He knows how to be respectful, even with his "enemies." It shows in how respectful he's been with Hillary, even while defending himself. :)

I know people don't like to address racial issues, but like it or not, we've been placed in this situation due to the war. It has caused so many divisions and highlighted our ignorance of cultural differences. It has forced us to face the truth. :o

Quote:

Originally Posted by Curious (Post 239692)

i want to remind everyone that this thread is not a political thread. kathy made that clear.

it's about how her son has been treated because of his mixed race.

this is not a thread to post about the political stance of members or or the candidates themselves.

Another reminder that this is not a political thread. Let's keep it that way.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Av8rgirl (Post 240901)

Another reminder that this is not a political thread. Let's keep it that way.

Hmmm... I see your point, BUT...Kathy did compare her son to Obama....a political candidate for the Presidency.

I think there might be other mixed race people she could choose. Then there would be no confusion.

There is Derek Jeter, Vin Diesel, 'The Rock', Frederic Douglas, Booker T. Washington, W.E.B. Dubois, Tiger Woods, Halle Berry...and on and on.

This might be an opportunity to check out those with the same situation to see how they coped and get inspired.

When I read of some of the success stories I think it would be a very good way for Kathy's son to see that he is not alone and can acchieve whatever he sets out to do (at least as well as anyone else).

Tootsie

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tootsie (Post 241015)

Diane

She made if very clear in her first post that this was NOT a political thread. Please stay on topic. This is a gentle reminder from the Moderators. ;)

Quote:

I'm not speaking about politics.

Tootsie

I mentioned Obama because the comments about Obama and his minister are all over the news. It reminded me of the pain I've had to endure for going on 50 years now - and my son for the last 24 years. I miss my son terribly. He's been serving in the military for almost 4 years now. They are pushing him to re-enlist. All he wanted to do was go to college and study music, but we didn't have the money. :(

He's my only child and the light of my life. I worry about him now because he's still experiencing racist remarks and degradation from his officers. When he was home with me, I was able to keep a gauge on his emotions and anger level. His officers don't care about his emotions. They only push harder - especially when his officers are off duty and drunk. :(

I posted this thread to speak of the harmful effects of racism, even subtle remarks and jokes - and how it triggers so much pain and anger for those of us who have to live with it. I know it's not your fault. It's not my fault either. When my son was born, I figured by the time he was a grown man people would be able to see he's a human being. I figured wrong. :(

How does this compare to your uncle's resemblance to our President? :confused:

I'm sorry my words upset you. :o

Quote:

Originally Posted by KathyM (Post 239610)

I know we're not supposed to talk about politics, but I just listened to a speech by Barack Obama on race relations in this country. It's something I've been longing to hear addressed for well over 40 years now.

I'm not speaking about politics. I'm speaking about race, but I'm not trying to "race bait" anyone.

Like Obama, my son is half black. I'm a white woman from Chicago, my ex-husband is a black man from Kentucky who moved to Chicago. I grew up hearing horrible racial slurs against blacks from my white neighbors. They threw rocks at Martin Luther King and called him a monkey when he came to Chicago back in the 60s. Their "Christian" excuse for their behavior made no sense to me.

My ex-husband grew up being treated like dirt in the south. As he'd walk down the street, white people in cars would call him names and throw garbage at him When we were married, white people threatened to kill us. We couldn't walk hand in hand down the street without some jerk saying something stupid to us. We watched our kind and gentle neighbor fight for his life on a ventilator after being attacked by policemen for driving through their white neighborhood. My own relatives in Arkansas disowned me for marrying a black man. My father was forced to choose between his brothers/sisters and his daughter. Lucky for me and my son, he chose us. He liked my ex-husband.

Which brings me to my son, a product of my marriage to my ex-husband - whom I loved very much and we continue to have a good relationship. When I listen to the racial slurs and political attacks against Obama, it feels like an attack on my own son. It stings like a bee because it's the reason my son has had to deal with so much unnecessary hatred and anger thrown at him (which continues) - how much unnecessary work I've had to do in order to make him strong enough to survive on the streets. It reminds me of the times I've had to sit quietly in pain as white people told "n*****" jokes or complained about them because I was too outnumbered for my voice to be heard.

I've talked about my son with many of you. He's been the light of my life from the moment he was conceived, and he's got a GOOD heart. I'm sure many of you have children/grandchildren who fall into the same category. How would YOU feel if people attacked your family based solely on skin color and life experience they had no control over? My son didn't ask to be born. Does he deserve to be called a "n*****" or treated like a second-class citizen in this country?

Your son does not deserve to be treated like a 2nd class citizen nor did you deserve the slurs and nastiness you had to endure.

All I can say is that the people who said those things to you, your ex and/or your son are very insecure (and most likely morons!).

I can only relate to you that the important thing to do in raising a child of any color is to find something they can excel at and something positive. A good role model helps also.

My sons took a lot of nastiness also. Both are white, but that didn't matter.

One was small for his age which brings out the worst in some people especially in the middle school and highschool kids. In those years insecurity rears it's ugly head.

I never could understand why kids like to pick on other kids, particularly if they are not the right size, the right color, the right whatever. I can only think this stuff comes from their upbringing.

It can hurt so much and have terrible results.

My DH and I made sure our son's had hobbies, goals and lots of support.

You can't take the sting out of the words or the lack of acceptance but you can equalize things a bit.

We encouraged our sons to get good educations, to enjoy sports and hobbies and not to lower theirselves to the level of their detractors.

I won't say it's not tough, but both my sons are great guys. They have college educations, wonderful families, great jobs and are looked up to.

Their experiences have made them sensitive to the needs of others and respectful and interested in peoples well being.

Tell your son the best comeback to all the detractors is to succeed. Time passes and things can get much better. Tell your son to set his sites high and move forward.

Then the name callers are the losers and your son will be the winner.

Good Luck to you and to him.

Tootsie