Absolutely, mental illness is not a choice. I'm talking about the people who masquerade as if they have a mental illness. Who abuse the system.

Everybody has issues, problems, whatever. But when the system offers you help, and you don't take advantage and you just go: "you owe me", well, I say: "I don't owe you anything".

Dr. Phil had just such a show about this today.

Very good show.

the sad thing is Mel many people fall thru the cracks in the system:(
or are alone with no-one to help them into the system and incapable of making better "choices" than to continue to self medicate with whatever booze and stuff they can get their hands on

the "system" is overburdened, underfinanced and understaffed and some of the "shelters" or mental healthcare facilities are more scary to these people than the streets.

and I am really not being melodramatic there. I have seen it for myself when trying to help a family member. and my son and I have been on those homeless ministry teams.

some of those homeless people have been abandoned by families since childhood and have been shunted thru abusive foster care in the "system" and are so very scarred by that "system"


also, in reference to what Curious so honestly posted on...........
my own family suffered loss of hubby's health and a business and our home all at the same time as 9/11 happened, and then 2004 when we were just coming back up to breathe we were hit by 3 big hurricanes in a row..........my husband will likely never recover from the combination of his and my son's serious illness and the loss of everything he had worked so hard for. It has taken a severe additional physical and mental toll on him :(

we still struggle, but at least we had family and friends and church to get us thru the worst of times so we could regroup and start over.
some people dont have any support system, and when life knocks them down time after time.........getting up and getting help isnt as easy as some make it sound. And when they are ill, mentally or physically, that makes it so very much harder

I dont care if the homeless guy by the side of the road is gonna go buy a pack of cigarettes or a beer or the hot meal I hope he will get. I will always give him something. I believe its not for me to judge him...only to help when I can.

ok off my soapbox. :o

My prayers are with you....I truly hope you find a solution. :hug:

You're so right - everyone is ready to point fingers and sit in judgement without knowing the circumstances behind someone's plight.

Some of these stories are just so sad, that my eyes got teary just reading them.

My DH and I exsist on or slightly above the poverty line ourselves, and that's because we're both on disability pensions while the cost of living isn't.

We don't have much, but we can always find a little for others worse off than ourselves.

Australia really is a lucky country!

I will always remember the woman sitting on the floor in front of one of the stores near where I live. I was appalled. I said "oh you poor thing, what's the matter" and she said "I'm hungry".

Now I was about to go into the little coffee shop and get my grilled chicken for lunch. But how the heck could I do that WITH A WOMAN SITTING ON THE FLOOR OUTSIDE IN THE STREET!!!!

So I took $5.00, went into the coffee shop and got a burger, fries and a soda (I had asked her what she wanted).

I then told the guy who it was for. The guy thought I was absolutely out of my mind for buying her anything. He said "you are nuts".

I said 'he thinks I'm nuts??"

So I went over to her and gave her the food. People came out and saw what I was doing "honestly, it was not a big thing for me to do this, and I have no idea why people were looking at me but they were".

Then she said "I need fifty cents to get on the bus, I only have a dollar fifty.

So I gave her fifty cents. I asked her what was wrong with her and she said "I have bi-polar".

Now I immediately said to myself "Mel Gibson is bi-polar, Sally Field is Bi-polar, Cher is Bi-polar and Patty Duke is Bi-polar".

Now I have no idea why some bi-polar people sit on the floor and others work in Hollywood, but who am I to question life, right?

Well. the next day, I go for my daily walk on the avenue and who do I see sitting on the street in front OF YET ANOTHER STORE, but the exact same lady. I said "oh my god, what are you doing on the floor again"? And she looks at me and says "I'm hungry, will you buy me something".

I had no idea she did this all the time. I see her all the time now. Everybody feeds her. She lives in a facility for the mentally challenged. She is on SSI. She told me this.

Why is she sitting on the floor in the street? Because obviously her family gave up or she has no family.

I remember (when Alan and I used to go to the NAMI meetings). Every month we would go to two meetings. One was a support group for families, and the other meeting was to meet with professionals who answered all the questions of family members and friends. There were lawyers, there were case managers, and there were also the people who had Shitzo-affective disorders, Shitzophrenia, and bi-polar. They also attended these meetings.

Now this is where it gets interesting. I would be sitting talking and having a perfectly fine conversation with someone and right in the middle of the conversation someone would tap her on the shoulder and politely inquire "did you take your pill?" .

You see, I thought I was speaking to a family member of the mentally ill person, but I was speaking to the bi-polar person herself. I said 'you're bi-polar?" and she laughed and said: "yeah, but I work and I've been working for 20 years".

I learned so much from the NAMI meetings. There is so many resources out there because of NAMI.

It's a sad shame when people either can't get resources, don't know how to access them or are simply alone.

I have no family to speak of. I take care of Alan. He does not take care of me. My family distanced themselves from me when they learned about my son.

Alan and I would be going to support group meetings and one day a friend (at least I thought she was a friend), said to me "where are you going tonight? and I said to her "oh Alan and I are going to a NAMI meeting".

She said nothing (she knew what it was).

But the best was when I went to an Aspergers Support group meeting, and a week later I went to a Gamanon Meeting. My son is aspergers and a compulsive gambler.

It used to be that my life was filled with support group meetings.

So one day my friend and I were having a conversation and I could not remember what I was doing the previous Tuesday and she blurted out "Oh you went to that stupid support group meeting of yours".

Now believe me, I never talk about my son TO ANYBODY. They don't ask and I don't tell. When all this went down (6 years ago), and they saw my face one night when we sat outside, I told them the whole story, and I never mentioned it again. They were not comfortable, and I knew this.

So now she blurts out "Oh I remember where you were, you were at that stupid support group that you attend".

Believe me, once she said that to me, I knew exactly where her head was at. She calls people wackos.

I try to conduct my life with dignity and not be judgemental but when I hit a brick of a mentality like that, well, I wanted to choke her.

She distanced herself from me also. It's like it's contagious, or something, being the parent of a mentally ill young man who gambles.

It's like I'm persona non grata so to speak.

You see, I believe there isn't a soul on this earth who DOESN'T HAVE SOMETHING GOING ON IN THEIR LIVES. Some just cope better than others.

I believe it's better to reach out and touch someone than never to reach out at all.

One night when Alan and I had gone to the Aspergers Support Group in NYC, we came upon a young guy in the freezing cold. He was homeless. He was no more than 20 years old. I immediately went to buy him some hot chocolate. He was grateful.

I'm always doing stuff like that. Can't help myself.

But the funny one was when this young woman approached me in broad daylight and asked me for money. She was very well kept, but she smelled of liquor. It was 8 a.m. . I looked at her and said 'are you an alcoholic?" and she just looked at me and said: "why yes I am". I then said "if I give you money, will you drink with it?" and she sadly nodded and said: "Absolutely".

I then said "I can't give you money but I'll buy you breakfast".

She walked away.

See, we do what we can.

the queen is rich?

she pays for and provides good jobs for all the cleaners cooks and groundskeepers

so she should get rid of her lands and houses? and then all those people wouldnt have work
those places increase tourism for the uk

curious whats wrong with your place or situation?

they have dropin centers here but mentally ill ususlly hate it -the street drug addicts took it over or theyre homeless types

schizophrenics hate places like that i guess

seattle gives drunks free apts where they can drink away lives

ive met homeless schizophrenics who get no help

today i heard lepers in india get one meal a week

what a great world this is

a lot of money is spent on programs and it doesnt get to the people

i blame the democrats
high overhead and they dont know how to get it to the people or wont

but maybe all people are to blame

as for me i distrust democrats

The Queen is the richest woman in the world. And because her monarchy has absolutely nothing to do with governing England, (Parliament runs it), why not just keep a mansion or two (she can employ whomever she wishes), then turn over THE VAST LAND she owns but does nothing with and perhaps build hospitals, dental offices, whatever is needed.

This is land completely going to waste. People can use this. Health facilities, drug treatment centers, I mean, the people are having children, but the children get sick and the waiting for the National Healthcare System (believe me, I know because I go on their dental forums, and these people can't get to a dentist), well, it's horrible.

And in the USA, California is the state that gets the second largest amount of money for the mentally ill (next to NYC) but they USE ALL OF IT.

Someone once told my son (when he lived in Arizona), if you want mental help, and facilities, and want to get any kind of mental health aide, just head to California, they will take care of you.

That guy was dead on the money.

Here in NYC, if you have mental health issues, they put you in Bellevue, or other psych wards, and as soon as you show any improvement, they release you and these people (who should NOT BE ROAMING AROUND), are most definitely roaming around.

Something needs to be done.

[QUOTE=Tootsie;245754]Why did you stop tutoring? Just wondering.



***
I stopped tutoring because we moved 200 miles away. Did tutor "At-risk" kids here for awhile and some high functiong autistic/ Asberger's syndrome students, but NJ teaching license not valid in MD, MS has knocked me off my feet (Power wheelchair buy in progress - insurance!!!), don't drive anymore - so now my kids (16 year old twins) bring here their friends home with assorted life stories, One even had Asbergers!!! Do what I can from my chair., e-mail politicians on a variety of things, etc. Never worked or traveled much in MD, MS came on with a vengence, knew (it seemed) so many in education, etc. in NJ, not here. Was alcohol and drug counselor in Emotionally Disturbed school I taught at. Have seen many in-patient and out-patient facilities in NJ. Here, no.

Two of DS friends with a variety of home life and some school problems have inquired that IF their parents do throw them out (as threatened), can they live here, knowing I'll have expectatlons and conditions.

I do miss teaching.