Now that the holiday is over, may I tell you what it was like for me?

It used to be easier for me when I was far removed from war and could focus only on having fun with friends and family. Now, being stuck in my house, yesterday was HORRIBLE. It sounded like gang warfare going on outside. I kept hearing little gun noises, then huge blasts. Whenever a huge blast went off, I had an urge to grab a gun, run out the door, and help my neighbors fight off those big guns. By the time I could settle my heart, it would happen again.

I had to tell myself it was only my neighbors out having a good time with their families. That didn't work. It reminded me of who was missing in my family. It reminded me of the type of "fireworks" and overwhelming heat my son is facing at this moment out in the desert. No "oooohs" and "ahhhhs" or even hot dogs over there.

If my son's deployment is extended and I have to face another July 4th with him over there, I'll probably look into taking some "doggie downers." Maybe if I'm knocked out for the day, I'll have more appreciation for my "freedom and independence."

Sorry, it was a HORRIBLE day for me. Maybe the 5th of July will be better.

(((Kathy)))

yes, I know for many it has been hard.

we had a soldier posting on the PTSD forum last night
if anyone wants to go encourage him

http://neurotalk.psychcentral.com/thread49307.html

I hope you have a very Happy 5th Kathy