Hi Cheryl
Thats exactly the reaction I now get from hubby and most of my sisters, like I have become a leper and am no longer any fun. You are not alone and I like you know mine is not messing around, sometimes I think he is trying to protect me from a bumpy road but they have no idea of how it makes us feel, like we have been kicked to the curbed by the people that are supposed to love us the most! I quit asking and now if I have a good day I just leave and take my faithful furbaby and let them wonder where I might be!!
Hang in there, I am sure there are many of us out there but many don't want to admit or think about it but they are there!
Hang in there!

I can't judge whether you're right to be upset or not. IMHO, guys say a lot of stupid things because they don't think and they don't realize that we're going to overanalyze it 7 ways until Sunday.

Why not wait until you're calm and then talk about spending some real together time - a date night or something. Talk to him about how isolated you feel - that you know that he needs to focus on work, but that you'd like to feel a part of the outside world too. One last thing - do you have any outside interests or friends that can get you out of the house? It sounds like you need it and relying on one person for all that can be hard for them - maybe you could start trying to meet people you can get out with.

Tell him you get "cabin fever" sometimes and just need to go out to see some different sights.

If you aren't able to drive yourself anywhere he should understand that everyone needs to get out of the house once in awhile.

Everyone should make & take some special time for their loved ones- isn't that the point of having a partner???

I agree with what jo55 said. Tell him even a simple trip in the car, like that, is nice/sorta fun for you since you can't get out of the house too often.

Judging by what you told us about him he doesn't mind being alone. And people who don't mind being alone can't relate to those who want to just "be" with someone else. Plus...he's a man and men just think differently than we do.

I used to get all bent out of shape by some of the things my DH would say....until one day I realized that he was just never going to understand how I think. Same way I was not going to understand his thought process. When he'd ask me why I wanted to do something or why I reacted a certain way to something he said all I had to say was "because that's how I feel" and he would back off. He knew if he pursued it he'd get a whole conversation about feelings and no man wants to go through that!!

HereKitty is right. Things my hubby did before didn't bother me as much as now when I'm more disabled and not as independent.. He has changed in respsponse to my "new normal" but think I've changed more. He doesn't see what is important to me now, how my needs differ and how things I didn't mind before bother me now. I find I need to state things I think should be obvious, he won't fogure out on his own. Not to start a male/female debate, I do find my teen daughter better at most issues (she's very matter of fact) then her twin brother.

(((((((Cheryl))))))))))

just wanted to give ya hugs and say I hope the friends who abandoned were not here cuz you sure have many caring friends here. I have known you some time now and I have seen how you are someone who reaches out to others despite your own pains and heartches that's you


some people withdraw into themselves at low times and others reach out ....i've learned over the 29 years hubby and I have known each other that he withdraws.

and sometimes when I try connect, it feels like I am intruding

but I've come to understand it really doesnt mean he loves me any the less.

perhaps your dude is just going through one of those times.

just know tho that we are all here to love ya thru it. I hope you will spend more time here and make lots of caring friends.

God Bless
Cheri