On Thursday, when he went to see his Neurologist, I told him "when you go and poke around Borders (the book store), get me a magazine for vegetarian cooking. He said "no problem".

LITTLE DID I KNOW!!

He comes home at 3 p.m. walks over to me and hands me this BIG magazine and says to me "Merry Christmas".

So I take the magazine and in big bold letters at the top of the magazine it says 'VEGETARIAN CHRISTMAS"

So I said "wow, they made a magazine just for vegetarian holiday dishes"?? and Alan says 'yeah, I looked inside and the food looks great!!"

Here are the names of some of the recipes. Let me know if you get the joke yet!!

Leek, Stilton & apple wrap with watercress & rocket pistou

Celeriac & potato dauphinoise

Aubergine timbales with goat's cheese

Croustades with Dolcelatte & roasted cherry tomatoes

Cumberland sauce

I had no idea what he had brought home. I never heard of any of these things. Then I scrolled down to where they gave the recipe. This is where I was really confused.

850 ml vegetable stock, 500 ml semi skimmed milk.
2 x 410g cans mixed beans in water, drained.

I asked him "what the heck is 2 x 410g cans mixed beans and what's 850 ml vegetable stock?

He looked at me and said "how the heck do I know, you do the cooking".

I kept turning the pages, and all the recipes were like that.

350ml passata (what the heck is a passata anyway).
450g orange sweet potatoes.

Can you get what is going on here?

I took another look at the front page of this magazine and I burst out laughing.

At the top of the page it said BBC GOOD FOOD VEGETARIAN.

I looked at Alan and said "This is an English vegetarian magazine" and he goes (get ready for this).

"Yeah, I know, isn't it amazing, it only cost $7.50 and I saved two bucks, imagine what this would have cost if it were in England?" I said "are you out of your mind, I don't know what any of these recipes are for, I can't understand them".

and he goes:

BUT IT'S ALL IN ENGLISH AND YOU SPEAK ENGLISH.

lol lol lol