I was sitting around and thinking about how I approach some things like when one of you are down and out. I am always throwing in the upbeat attitude, saying I am sorry, it will get better, God is there, everything happens for a reason, etc..

Maybe it's the care partner in me but I have to wonder does it ever annoy you when people like me do that? I mean, after awhile even I would say "How could you even know?"

Yes, I take care of Jim and it's going on 21 years of living with ms and yes, I have extensive knowledge of the disease but that doesn't make me really get it does it? Even sweet Jim will get that look on his face sometimes. You know the look you give someone who is trying to help and you just go with it rather than smack them?

I guess what I am saying is I will never truly get it. I want you to know when I am offering support it comes from my heart. I am in no way a know it all and hope I never come across as one. I care for all of you and am grateful for this site.

I have learned so much from many of you about ms on a deeper level that books can ever reach. As my mom used to say "Throw away those damn books! They wont teach you everyday things you need to know by trial and error!"

She was right but don't tell her that OK?

PS: Fell free to post your stories about those of us trying to do right, the good, the bad and the ugly. Believe it or not, we learn from your stories.

You mean you don't know everything?

Well, no more me asking for support or advice from you.



Bring it on sister. I love your ray of hope of sunshine topped off with lots of humor.

Go away already, will ya??

(we think you're great, Sandy, but don't tell nobody...)

Ahem...oh yeah, and take the monkey with ya!!

*mumbles to self, finally getting da monkey off our backs...*wiping hands

(thinking maybe moi should add the disclaimer that we love da monkey and sandy or faces possible stoning to death by the angry lobsters....)

YAY!!

Where do you want to go Sandy?

<----monkey shoved moi out of the plane

The answer to your question is yes.









oh, wait, I thought it said, "Do people like Mwa. annoy me", my bad.

Start yer own thread, dork, I'll let you know if I like you or not....

better yet, go sing a show tune...

LOL I think Mwa just trumped my question.

Just to clarify, I didn't mean just me in particular. I'm not fishing for compliments for myself unlike Mwa. I am just curious and wondering how many of us you want to smack around every once in awhile. Kind of like "Here, take my shoes and frickin' walk in them already and shut up!"

Don't get me wrong, I know I am appreciated by Jim and others. I don't need anyone telling me that. But sometimes I wonder how often you get tired of the "sun is shining" attitude? Like, sometimes, what else do you want to hear? I know sometimes for Jim he just wants to be heard, no answers, no how to fix it, just heard.

I think as carepartners sometimes we want to fix everything and often times we may go overboard to do so when all you really want is an ear to listen or a shoulder to lean on. You know?

Wow......not quite sure what this thread is about anymore but I'll try to respond to your question, Sandy......

I tend to be the eternal optimist, too, and I've often wondered if it gets on anyone's nerves. Believe me, I have my moments of "pity parties" just like anyone does. I guess I just try to hide it from everyone else. I know I try to downplay my sx and discomfort to my kids. Guess I don't want them to worry. I'm seriously rethinking that strategy.....

Just because you don't have MS, Sandy, doesn't mean that you can't relate to our complaints, etc. You live everyday with someone who has it. That's about as close to it as you can get without actually having to have it. I think you can give a new perspective on things being a caregiver. Maybe you've thought of something we haven't. Everyone's MS is different so I don't think any one of us knows exactly what another is really experiencing. We just know it sux....whatever your sx may be.

Okay.....I hijacked.....or maybe de-hijacked your thread.....so carry on with whatever subject was last being discussed before I interrupted.

now, before I get smacked around for hide yakking the heckit outta yer thread, let me just say this. LOL

I think that there ARE times that we just want to be heard and NOT told:

"look, it'll get better"
"the sun always shines"
"chin up, sit straight"

and I know for me, when I am in my darkest, I simply just cannot let anything go into my ears cause I simply tune it out.

But I do appreciate the times when I DON'T want to hear it and people are still injecting them into me.

I think it depends on situations. A lot of times when moss and I talk we would ask each other. OK, do you want advice or do you just want to vent.

Communication is ALWAYS the key...and it has to be a TWO way street. We cannot read the other person's mind so we just never know, ya know??

I tend to go overboard myself when I start to care. And there are those that just wanted to be left alone. But if they tell me, I absolutely would leave them alone...but if they don't tell me. I only have body languages and eye rollings to go by...

I think you do fine, Sandy...keep that communication open....