Holly

I know exactly what you mean. I felt like "How dare everyone carry on with their lives when this has happened. How can they even be able to concern themselves with anything but this?" I went through the same thing with each death......but life does go on and eventually you'll be thankful for the distractions of everyday stuff. There's alot of things you'll have to get used to doing differently. But it's all part of the healing process that will eventually become clear (or clearer) to you. It ain't easy.

I felt guilty, too, when I didn't cry as much. And if I dared to laugh or smile at anything.......well, I didn't hesitate to berate myself for that, too. But I learned that it's okay to move on. It's okay to be happy. None of the family that left me would ever want me to be sad. I felt guilty for everything....for still being here (why them and not me?), for enjoying anything without them, you name it and I felt guilty for it.

It's a process to grieve....sometimes a lengthy process. And everyone does it differently. There's no right or wrong way to do it. Sort of like MS.......it's different for everyone. So whatever works for you is the right thing for you to do.

I think about you often and still include you in my prayers. I know Grandma is bragging about you.

Holly, don't down yourself for not crying. When my dad died, I didn't shed a tear. It's been 2 1/2 weeks now and no tears. Until today!! I was at work today and a song came on. Then the flood gates opened.

I knew it would happen, in time. lol I just wish it had happened anywhere but work.


I'm glad the service went well. I'm sure your grandmother would have been proud.


Hang in there Holly


DAY

Holly, at a time like this we all are a frozen state. The best thing for you was the fact you was with her, the last minute times. And that is a blessing. I can recall back in 1972 when I lost my dad, I was the lucky one to be with him and my mother, my sibs. were not as fortunate. I than can think back when it was the tenth annversity of his death and still weeping after hearing one of his favorite hymns at church. There will always be a place in your heart for loved ones you will lose.

May God be with you and your family. for you all.